Dark Discovery
by Ally N. S
Summary: A Carpathian woman lives for centuries as a wolf, unkown to her kind. When she is near death, a voice sounds within her head, setting her mind on fire with hope
1. Blood and Death

_**Blood and Death**_

Night was upon me as I awakened deep within my cave shelter. As soon as I breached the mouth of it and stepped out onto the grass, the light of the moon washed over me and I was immediately in tune with my surroundings. I paused and listened intently to the sounds of the night, my ears erect to catch any hidden sound I might have otherwise missed. A few miles away an owl hooted in triumph as it clenched its talons around an unsuspecting mouse. The sound of many scrambling little feet followed, signifying the retreat of all other mice who were anywhere near the owl. I turned my attention away from the silent predator and instead began my own search for prey. Within a few minutes, I had found my target. A large stag stood out in the open ravine a few miles away, completely content with his surroundings, engulfed in a false sense of security that consumed all deer during the rutting season. I allowed my inner woman a moment to laugh. _All men were arrogant when seeking women…even wild creatures!_

I stretched languidly for a moment, relieving the tension in my muscles in both my front and back legs. My tail brushed out behind me as I raised my muzzle towards the moon and let out a long, drawn out howl. Just as I did so, other cries echoed my own as the rest of my surrogate pack came to join me on the hunt. I took off at a full out run, feeling a mix between pleasure and pain in my body as it strove to release itself from the wolf form. I suppressed the Carpathian woman within me, knowing full well that she had no idea how to free me from my canine body and that she only wished to be free. Her longings would do me no good. As I ran, my thoughts wandered and I couldn't help but remember the night I had been caged within my own body.

I had been but 7 years old, a mere girl, as I watched the Turks bombard our village. While everyone ran for their lives, my family and another helped to save everyone, they were caught within the rays of the rising sun. I had watched as both of my parents writhed as a blazing fire engulfed them. I began to feel the effects of the sun as well and at the last moment, my father merged his mind with mine and helped me turn into our four-legged allies. With a mental caress and then an order to run for cover, he left this world along with my mother. It had been centuries since that day, but it was stilled burned into my memory and I was a wolf still. After I had found cover I had attempted to change back, but had found that I had never learned to shape-shift, forever forsaking me to a life as a wolf.

The rush of the wind surrounding me and beating against my face distracted me from my memories and I soon heard the sound of the deer's heartbeat, steady and unknowing. The urge to kill rose up within me and I suppressed it, quietly allowing the woman within a moment to mourn the passing of such a beautiful creature of the earth. We were upon it in an instant and it quickly fled, urging us on the chase. We followed it down the ravine, many of us closing in on it, snipping at its heels and then allowing it to gain ground. It was more of a cat and mouse game than anything else. We could have killed it instantly had we wanted, but the wolf within me desired the chase. Needed it. I allowed the game to continue for a bit longer and then once I felt the anxiety and fatigue wash over the deer's mind, I closed in and locked my jaws onto it's throat, delivering a quick and painless death.

Our pack cried out in victory and began the pre-designed feeding order, alpha male and female getting to eat first. The younger and weaker wolves moved aside to allow me access to the deer as well, but I felt my stomach lurch at the idea of consuming the animal's flesh. Instead I bent my head and lapped at the blood pooling beneath the animal's neck. It was astonishing that I had survived on taking blood in this manner for as long as I had. It had been many a century since I had become a wolf and I had to admit that I was impressed with what I learned of the wolves. They were my brethren, my friends and my family. They protected me and I them, but no matter how much I cared for them, part of me missed the Carpathian life, the physical contact, the way of life, learning all the skills and talents our kind possessed…and speech…I missed speaking most of all. I took my fill of the blood and left the meat for the other hungry creatures, happy that I could help provide them with what they needed to sustain life and then took off towards the nearest city.

I loved the city. I loved to sit within the darkness and watch as humans walked by, completely content in their ignorance, not even caring that somewhere within their world another species of people existed and were being inhumanely hunted for being an evil creature that they were not. Vampire-hunters constantly were searching for my kind, believing that Carpathians were vampires, when nothing could have been farther from the truth. It was true, my kind drank blood, slept during the peak of the sun's reign, and had many other talents that humans could never understand, but never did we kill humans when we fed, nor did we take pleasure in tormenting them. Vampires were the effect that years of solitude and loneliness had upon the men of our race, if they did not find the woman that could balance out their dark natures, but _true _Carpathians were not vampires and it was the _true _Carpathians that were being killed.

I was on the outskirts of the city before I had even noticed that I had moved. I looked around and found that I was surrounded by a grouping of farms, sheep, horses and cows all grazing within the pasture, not noticing that they were being watched by a large black wolf with gleaming blue-green eyes. Just then, I heard a rustling sound from behind me and I flung myself around to face whatever had caught me off guard. I found myself face to face with a huge wolfhound, a dog that was trained to protect the farm and it would not allow me to be so near its family and live. I attempted to send mental messages to the animal, but it was no use, he was not going to give in so easily when every urge within his body told him to kill. I respected the power and the need to protect his family and so I eased backwards, away from him, completely unaware that I was backing towards my doom.

Just then, the sound of a gun cocking caught my attention and I turned to be simultaneously shot and attacked by the dog. My mind was indecisive for a moment as I tried to conclude which adversary was more threatening. I knew the human had the worse weapon, but I also knew that the human was likely to miss if I was fighting with the dog. The dog's intent was to kill and he would not so easily miss his targets. I flung myself at the dog, putting all my power and strength behind my attack, using my jaws to grasp the dogs throat. The pain between my shoulders cut through me and my concentration faltered for a moment. The dog took his chance and snapped his own jaws around my throat. I growled and threw him off of me and jumped to the side, allowing a flying bullet to hit the ground beside me. I felt the trickle of blood running down my back and realized that I was getting extremely weary. I attempted to make a run for the trees, knowing that if I had been in my Carpathian form, there would be no problem between the dog, the man, and I, but in the wolf form, I was vulnerable. Destructible. The dog took hold of my leg and dragged me back to it, leaping around my fallen body to take hold of my back. The man took the moment to shoot at me again, the bullet searing through my skin as it pierced my right side.

Both the woman within and the wolf did not want to kill the beautifully loyal dog, but at that point I was running out of options. I was losing blood far too quickly and if I was caught unable to move, but still alive, the daylight would catch up with me, leaving me to a slow and agonizing death. I got to my feet as the dog tore at my body, attempting to bring me down once more. I fought the urge to give in and allow death to take me under its dark, looming wing. _NO! I would not die a wolf! I wanted to die as a woman!_ I allowed the anger in that thought to consume me and a burst of energy surged through my body, giving me just the amount of drive I needed to hurl myself to my paws and shove my weight into the dog, throwing him off balance. Just as he tumbled to the ground, shocked at my sudden assault, I threw myself on top of him and tore his throat. The dog took in a sharp breath and then fell silent. Dead. I lifted my head and held the gaze of the man a few yards away.

The man lifted the rifle to his eye and fingered the trigger, watching me with anger blazing in his gaze. I stared back, daring him to pull the trigger. For a moment, he looked like he would, but something about my eyes gave him pause, most likely the color. I didn't wait to find out and turned around, limping towards the cover of the foliage. As soon as I was far enough in to feel safe and sheltered, I allowed myself to collapse, feeling like death was upon me already. My mind struggled with itself.

I knew what I should do, I should send myself into the sleep of my people: shut down my lungs and command my heart to stop beating. I knew I could still do it, even though I was a wolf, but that was the fact that concerned me. If I was a seemingly dead wolf, there was no telling what scavenger would attempt to tear my body apart and consume my flesh. If I could command the earth to open and bury myself the soil would heal me slowly and I would be safe from all other harm, but I knew I was no where near strong enough to do so, and so I simply lay there, wondering if the last thing I knew on this earth was the vultures picking at my bones. Just then, a voice sounded within my head. **_Who are you? _**

****I didn't have much strength left and so I used all that was left to send a message back to the stranger. **_I am a Carpathian woman…if you know what that is…regardless I am mortally injured and stuck within the forests near the northern end of Montreal Canada. I am a black wolf close to a farm. Please! I do not want to die as a wolf!_**

I closed my eyes and prayed to God that whoever was calling out to me would not think me insane. I knew my plea sounded idiotic…_I should never have said the word Carpathian…what if I have betrayed my kind in my dying moment! Oh God! _As I lost consciousness one last thought slipped into my mind, a sensation like a billion butterflies flitting across my skin.

**_Do not worry, I will come for you! Be calm…know I will care for you…I will not allow you to die!_**


	2. Wolf or Woman

_**Wolf or Woman**_

_This is madness! What am I doing here?_ I thought as I soared above the trees, scouring the forest floor for any sign of life. I had only an hour or so before dawn and I knew that if it was truly one of our kind injured out in the open, I would have to hurry. The sun would prove to be deadly for us both. While I flew, my mind took in the possibility that a vampire had set a trap for me, feigning the call of a Carpathian in pain. After all, it was a known fact that all Carpathians were known to each other, except a select few who were lost during the Turkish raid and it would be nearly impossible for a **_woman _**to go unnoticed. _I should go back right now…_ But no matter how many times I thought that to myself, I was being pulled forward by an unknown force, and the strength of its allure shocked me.

I flew along at an incredible speed, my great chestnut wings beating against the sky, attempting to double my pace. I was nearly to the city when something caught my eye. A faint glimmer of red within the dreary grey of my world. I blinked hard, thinking the color was an illusion in my mind. _Impossible! Male Carpathians lose their ability to see in color after their first few hundred years of life…" _But there it was, plain as day, a pool of piercingly red blood surrounding a large black wolf.

I quickly changed directions and glided to the ground, changing to my normal form as my feet hit the soft earth. I approached the seemingly lifeless body of the wolf with caution and when it didn't move, I bent over and placed my hand on its broad head. At my touch, the wolf's lungs sprung into action, gasping in a sudden breath, her eyes darting around her, immediately locking onto my own. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her eyes blazing into mine. They were a swirling torrent of blue and green, conveying intelligence, pain and mistrust. Her hackles raised wearily, flashing me a glimpse of her potentially murderous jaws. I bared my teeth back, allowing my sharp incisors to shine in the fading moonlight. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of my fangs. It was then that I saw through the wolf to the woman within, and there was clearly a woman trapped within the beast. I knew it the moment her eyes changed from the bright green of a drained but alert predator to the breath-taking blue of a lonely woman.

I was instantly flooded with emotion as the entire world burst into color around me. Everything sprang to life, the trees shone beautiful shades of green as the magnificent cornflower blue beams of the moonlight beat down on its late night empire. As I watched my world turn itself inside out, I was overcome with concern for the creature before me. I whispered one word into the air, "life mate." I pushed the amazement I experienced at actually feeling my heart leap with concern out of my mind. _This is insane! She is a wolf! Any Carpathian in distress would have changed to their human form…this cannot be!_ However, I could not deny that everything I knew to be true had changed the moment I saw her.

I angrily pressed all my uncertainties aside as I kneeled beside her, watching in horror as the last amount of strength she had left her, her head thudding to the ground. The only remaining evidence of her consciousness were her eyes, veiled but watching me cautiously. Those eyes bore into me without mercy. I struggled to find my voice as well as my common sense. After searching the depths of my soul, I found both simultaneously.

"I have to get you out of this place! The dawn hunts us and you'd recover best in my care. I need you to trust me and allow me to take you to my home where you can receive proper treatment for these terrible wounds."

She simply stared in response. I attempted to gather her up in my arms but she whimpered painfully her eyes rolling up in her head. I stopped moving to give her a moment to fight the pain. When awareness returned to her she growled and locked her eyes on me.

"Please, trust me. I am Carpathian, not vampire and I will not harm you. Allow me to send you into the sleep of our people."

She growled again, the sound deep and reverberating, shaking my soul to the very core. "I know you are in pain…but please…trust me! I beg you! Trust in me!" I found myself tortured by her reluctance to believe in my goodness, a goodness I hadn't known existed until I saw her, but something within me detested the idea of forcing her compliance. Reluctantly, I sought her mind, wanting to command her to sleep through the pain. I was astonished when I could find no mental path to her. I was caught between two routes, the wolf's and the woman's but neither led to her, as if her mind was lost deep within some unknown place and this animal in my arms was merely a lifeless shell.

I watched as she closed her eyes and her heart stopped as did her lungs. I let out a relieved breath. _Her will is phenomenal!_ She had sent herself to sleep, regardless of her lack of trust and strength. Whatever this creature was, she was unlike anything I had ever seen before.


	3. Strangers in the Darkness

_**Strangers in the Darkness**_

My mind awoke as did my body, but something was not right around me. The first revelation that made me uneasy was that I was inside of a house. I could smell the fabrics of the furniture, the tapestries and the carpeting. A horrified panic began to spread within me and I was suddenly aware of another presence within the room. I stilled, suddenly afraid beyond belief. I knew I was still too weak to properly defend myself and the fact that I had no idea who this person was did not settle my mind one bit. Suspiciously I opened my eyes and immediately found them looking into another's.

_He was breath-taking. _Immediately she knew she was within his mercy. His entire demeanor was that of power, his entire body seemingly carved out of marble. He was tall, well above the height of most humans, and muscular, much more so than any man she had ever seen. His shoulder length hair was a dark warm chestnut color. His eyes were the only unsettling feature about him. They were pitch black and seemingly emotionless, except when she looked deep within them, only then did she see his sentiments as plainly as if they were displayed upon his face. Casually, he stood up from the wall he was leaning against and walked over to me. Without speaking, he laid his hand upon my body, gently inspecting my quickly healing wounds. I felt the female body deep within me respond to his touch, an excited shiver slowing through my veins. Luckily for the huntress wolf, the shiver did not translate over to the beast's body. Somehow I instantly knew he was responsible for my recovery thus far. Perhaps it was the way he looked at me, or the way that his hands moved over my furred body with nurturing concern, either way, I reluctantly began to trust him. Just then, a form began to shimmer beside him as another man materialized. I bared my teeth and growled deep within my throat, warning him that I would not go down without a fight. My fierce snarl contradicted my true feelings towards this stranger. This one quite frankly scared me. He had a similar build to that of my rescuer, but this man's eyes were a piercing silver, conveying nothing but power and the need to receive immediate obedience from all around him. I knew instantly that this man had once been so near turning that the dark shadow of his inner beast still hung around him like a second skin.

"How is she?" The stranger asked.

"She'll live, Dark One…though I think you may be able to do more for her now." I snarled again, wishing that I could verbally reprimand them both. _I speak many languages fluently, you Neanderthals!_

"How do you mean, Christian?"

"Her mind is trapped. I cannot find her within the wolf…I do not know how to free her."

"She is trapped?"

"So it seems. Why would she have not changed back by now?" The both watched me intently. "We must free her Gregori…I can see colors again…and I am immensely concerned for her…I am frightened she may be forever lost to me." I took in what he said slowly. _What on earth is he babbling on about now?_ I felt a sudden sensation within my mind, a firm nudge. The stranger was trying to get into my mind. The Carpathian within me wanted to allow him entrance, but the wolf knew better than to trust an assault with unknown intentions.

"She fights within herself…At times she is more wolf than woman…It will take time to release her…I will return again and see what I can do for her, but it may not be for a few days. Protect her, bond with her as much as you can…and I will come back to aid you both."

"Thank you Dark One."

The stranger shimmered and disappeared once more, as if he had never been there. I physically allowed my body to relax. Simply the presence of that man sent my fur standing on end.

"We will free you…I promise." My rescuer spoke firmly, "But until that time, I am unsure how to conduct myself. I assume that you are well aware of what I am saying…?" I inwardly rolled my eyes and allowed a soft growl to escape my throat, confirming his assumption. "So I thought," he smiled to himself, "I guess our conversations are going to be somewhat one-sided." I found the woman within smiling at his comment. He was trying to make me comfortable, addressing me as a human and not as an animal, but being unable to speak directly to me was making him feel awkward. I was suddenly aware of the table I was laying upon and I carefully rolled myself over so that all four of my paws were beneath me. I felt a dull pain on my neck and shoulders, and I whimpered softly.

"No! Stay put!" He demanded, in a soft yet, unyielding tone. I snarled in response. I knew Carpathian women generally obeyed the males' every command, but I was not wholly a woman yet and I would not give up my independence. I had lived a lifetime away from the men of my race and I had made it thus far without their help. I was about to jump down when my paws slid upon the glossy finish of the tabletop, my claws scrambling, uselessly attempting to maintain traction.

The man was quick to my aid, wrapping his strong arms around me and easing me down onto the floor. I stared at him as he straightened himself up to his full height. I bared my teeth, not liking the advantage he had over me, being significantly stronger and taller. He backed away slowly his hands held out in front of him, the universal sign of peace. "Please, do not be so weary of me. You must know that if I had wished to harm you I could and would have done so long ago. You are regaining your strength and spirit…only an idiot would attempt to attack an anxious wolf." I recognized his words as the truth and, still watching his every move, lied down in the corner of the room, my fatigue catching up with me. "Please, allow me to give you a more comfortable place to sleep." He watched me, pointlessly waiting for a response. I simply watched him for a few moments before I gave in to my exhaustion, closing my eyes every once and awhile, attempting to regain some strength.

He left the room quietly, and returned a few minutes later. He bent down and knelt beside me. I lifted my head, looking up at him curiously. He wrapped his arms around me once more, preparing to lift me into his arms. My wolf instincts demanded that I not allow myself to be taken off my feet, but the woman seemed to understand that he was helping. I quickly closed my jaw around his arm, not allowing my teeth to pierce his flesh, but warning him with a firm amount of pressure that I would bite down if he attempted to harm me.

"Easy _ma_ _loup_, I would never wish to hurt you." I looked up into his eyes and found myself lost within the black pools there. I eased my jaw off of his arm and allowed myself to give in to his authority, the wolf protesting with every step he took.

His footsteps were even and sure, as was the strength in his arms, evidence of his attempt to not jostle me around. I took in the rooms as we passed them, burying them in my memory so I knew the way out if I needed to escape. He turned into a room at the end of a long corridor and laid me upon the bed in the middle of the room. My body sunk into the mattress and I sighed aloud as he sat on the bed's edge. I rolled onto my stomach and laid with my paws tucked underneath my head, facing the man, watching my every move. He reached his hand out towards me and when I made no move to stop him, he stroked my fur gently, hesitantly caressing my head as well. The feel of his hands upon me, gentle and soothing sent shivers of hope darting through me. Somehow, the slow, calming way he touched me spoke silent message. He was going to care for me forever, even if I remained a wolf for the rest of my life. I tried to remain awake, but each stroke sent me into a deeper level of relaxation until I fell asleep.


	4. Something in Common

_**Things in Common**_

I awoke at dusk the next evening, this time feeling completely content even though I was not yet used to waking up within a house. I was suddenly aware of another body lying close to mine and I lifted my head groggily towards the lead weight resting upon my back. I froze as my eyes rested upon another wolf, sleeping flush up against me, his dark brown head resting on my back near my hips. He looked up as I moved, instantly in tune to me and my actions. He began to get up, having clearly not intended for me to wake up with him still sleeping beside me, but hesitated when I did nothing. I simply looked at him for a moment more than laid my head back down. I felt much more comfortable with him as a wolf, the intensity and superiority he had over me when he was a man seemed lessened in his wolf form. He lowered his head as well, resting it on my hip once more.

I suddenly felt a brushing sensation in my mind. I wanted to allow him in but the wolf would not be fooled so easily, thwarting his attempt to break through the barrier the wolf had constructed. With a sigh he lifted himself to his feet and jumped off the bed, morphing into a human once more as his feet came into contact with the soft carpeted floor.

"Someday you may not be so unsure of me…" He said somewhat testily as he stalked towards the door. He was about to leave me alone in the room and I was overcome with fear at the thought of him leaving me, even if it was only for a second. I whimpered softly, causing him to turn to me inquisitively.

"You do not want me to leave?" He asked, one eyebrow raising curiously. I whimpered again, this time purposely making it sound a little less desperate. "Than why will you not allow me into your mind?"

I simply stared, wanting to speak with him, whether it be verbally or mentally, wanting to tell him that I **_did _**wish to speak with him! I **_did _**wish to allow him in, but the wolf was a firm protector, an unrelenting one, forcing my mind to stay hidden behind the fortress she had constructed.

He looked into my eyes and I locked my gaze upon his, hoping that through them he could see even a general answer to his question. He spoke in an awed voice, "You **_DO _**want to allow me in!" His eyes lit up and the dark shadows within him fled to the background of his mind as he closed the distance between us in one fluid leap. I scrambled to my feet and eased backwards, putting a safe amount of distance between us, not liking the speed at which he closed in on me.

****"I am sorry…I didn't mean to startle you…" He sat on the edge of the bed with his head turned towards me, watching me with those insistent black eyes.I found the woman within me screaming to be released. She had had enough and wanted to speak with the man, to touch his mind with hers, to allow him to place his hands upon her smooth, peachy skin. _OH GOD! I WANT TO SPEAK WITH HIM SO BADLY! _

I felt a battle begin deep within me. The woman had finally had enough of the wolf, feeling like a rebellious teenager, confronting her over-protective parent. _Get out of my way, She-wolf…this man will protect me now!_ I pushed my human mind to the forefront of my head, banishing the wolf to the shadows, where she had kept the woman for so long. The wolf snarled at me, stalking in the back of my thoughts, ready to take over as soon as the woman let her guard down. **_Oh Please! Do not think I do not wish to allow you in…my wolf half's purpose was to protect me and so she does…she trusts no one…Help me, please…I want to be a woman! I want to speak with you…Do not give up on me…the wolf will take over my mind again shortly, but know that I do not wish for you to give up on me, no matter how much of a fight the wolf puts up!_**

****The she-wolf growled and lunged at the woman, grabbing hold of her mind and dragging her back into the darkness and stepping to the front in battle stance. The growl transferred over, but the man's gaze never faltered, never left my eyes.

"Give it up, wolf! The woman you protect was meant to be under my care…I want her and I _will _have her." The wolf growled in response but the woman shivered, hearing the dominance within his claim. I found myself liking the power I saw within him, surprisingly not frightened by the intensity it. The wolf bared her teeth with more ferocity than before, but the man still did not back away, he actually began to reach towards me. The wolf within's mind was clouded with a red haze as murderous thoughts began to form in her mind. I was horrified by the sheer iron will that was urging the wolf to take action and I quickly jumped into the front of her mind, reprimanding her for even thinking about harming this man. The wolf's anger dissipated as she looked at me wearily, seemingly hurt by my scolding. She moped off into the far back of my our consciousness, leaving the woman to rein freely.

The man reached his hand out and rested it on my head and I leaned into his touch, feeling more like a friendly dog than a dangerous wolf. The woman had won for now. I didn't know how long I would be able to suppress the fierce huntress, but for now, I could be with the man who had rescued me. The man who's soul reached out for me even though I avoided his touch, dancing around him like an enchantress, twisting around in circles just out of his reach.

"I wish you were human. You cannot know how desperately I need you to be human. To allow me to touch your mind, your body and your soul. You are my life mate…I am not sure how I know since I have never truly seen you…but you are and I intend to keep the beast within me at bay until I can be with you and know for sure if we were meant to be together." He spoke softly, his voice caressing the woman within me. I writhed against his hand as he stroked my head, but I felt his hands running along my human body, lingering on my neck for moments at a time before moving slowly downward.

**_In all my life I have never desired to be a woman again more than I do when I am with you._** I felt his mind brush against mine, gently at first but then more forcefully as he realized he had reached me. **_Ma loup! I have found you! _**I felt my heart leap at his voice echoing within my head.

**_Indeed, you have._** I responded, allowing the ecstatic emotions filling my body to seep over into his own.

**_How long do I have within your mind, until Loupa returns? Do I have enough time to free you?_** I laughed at the eagerness in his tone.

**_Why? What is the rush?_** I asked, wondering what could be so pressing.

**_You are my life mate…and I need you desperately…in all possible meanings of the word._** I shivered, feeling slightly awkward as he blatantly demanded that I be with him once I was human again. **_Sir, I have been a wolf for the vast majority of my life…I do not even have the slightest idea what I would look like or feel like as a woman…_** He couldn't possibly want me without knowing what I looked like or who I was.

**_It makes no difference to me, ma loup…you are my life mate…_**

I sighed aloud. **_You keep saying that, but what does it mean?_**

His gaze bore into mine. **_You do not know? Are you not Carpathian? _**His voice sounded instantly frightened, the tone fringing upon anger.

_**I am Carpathian Sir**,_ at that his uneasiness calmed, **_but I was turned when I was but a small child…I do not know the customs as well as I should…_**

He smiled and wrapped his arm around my neck, gently massaging the back of it. **_Do not fret. I can assist you in that matter…_** **_What is your name, ma loup?_**

I smiled to myself. **_Nathalie._**

A soft growl sounded behind me and I found myself within the grasp of the she-wolf once more, being pulled back behind the protection of my wild guard dog. There was a brush of sensation in my mind for a moment but then it was gone, as if it had never been. He sighed and removed his hand from my neck. "So, she has come back for you…" The wolf growled in response, not taking a liking to the stranger at all. "So I thought…I need to go feed, but I will return shortly…and then we will see what we can do about getting you something to eat."

I shoved the wolf aside for a moment to call out to him. **_Please do not leave me!_** He turned to look at me, the soft brush of his mind seeking mine was comforting though I nearly cried when he didn't break through to me. "I will not be long…I cannot protect you if I am weakened and so I must feed. Wait for me. Do not go wandering off, it is not safe for you." There was no request within the statement. It was a blatant order that I was expected to follow. With one last possessive glance at me, he changed into the form of a large tawny hawk and took off into the air, swooping through the doorways until he left through an open window down the hall.


	5. Torture

_**Torture**_

Once he was gone, the wolf rested her head upon her paws, surveying her surroundings with ever watchful eyes. _You will not even think about escaping, you mongrel!_ She raised her hackles at me and continued to look around the room. I sighed, knowing she was a stubborn yet formidable opponent and if she chose to flee, I would have no choice but to attempt to hold her back until the man returned. It seemed as if our roles were reversed. Now she desired freedom, when the woman had found her peace.

I felt fatigue begin to work its way through my body, feeling drained down to my very bones. But there was another sensation that worried me. Somewhere within me was an uneasiness that refused to be quelled. I knew the moment I felt it that I was suffering because the man had left my side. **_Christian!_** I found myself calling to him within my mind, the wolf snarling warnings, but neither of us believed that he could hear me over such a great distance.

**_What is it Nathalie? Are you in need of me, ma loup?_**

A stunned silence followed. _He could hear me?_ The wolf was still stunned and so I quickly responded before she could prevent me from doing so. **_No, sir…all is well…I just…I feel like I need you here…_**

I struggled with my own emotions for a moment before his laughter mingled with my thoughts. **_It is alright. I understand. You are my lifemate and when I am gone this is how you are supposed to feel. In time as our bond grows being apart will become even more unbearable. I will return shortly. _**A short pause followed. **_And please, when you address me, use my name. I want to hear you say it. _**

I couldn't help but smile. He was so arrogant and so fierce of a man, and yet at times there was a gentle courtliness to him that was irresistible. **_Christian._** I whispered back, mentally caressing his mind.

****"Where is your man, Loupa!" A voice sounded within the dark shadows of the room and both the outer wolf and the inner woman leapt to her feet, instantly alert and anxious. The silver-eyed man from before stood facing me, his gaze blazing over me. "I am here to set you free…I have spoken to our Prince and we have decided that we cannot afford to allow you to take your time in this matter…you are vulnerable as a wolf and your mate is close to turning…and if he is not your true mate, there are many others on the verge…I am sorry, but I must force your compliance."

I growled at him, feeling the terror rise within my throat. He sighed, "Please. Know that I do not wish to harm you, but I know you will not willingly give into the change. The wolf will fight as will the woman and both of you will feel immense pain. You have been a wolf for so long a time that it will be more like changing a wolf into a human, if that were even possible. I do not wish to do this to you , but I have to. I am sorry!"

Before I could respond the barrier of my mind was shattered by a powerful pressure surging through my mind. The wolf panicked and leapt towards the front of my mind, wanting to take down the attacker with full force. There was no thoughts from the invader to strike at and so both the wolf and the woman waited patiently.

Suddenly, my woman half was being pushed towards the front of my mind as the wolf was being hauled away, not towards the darkness but towards the light. She howled out loud for my assistance but the hold the stranger had on my thoughts was too strong and I could merely watch as my mind was tore apart.

The fear I felt tripled as the wolf disappeared from my mind's reach, but I had no time to dwell on it as a roaring pain began to take over my body. I felt the change begin as if a thousand bolts of lightning were searing through my flesh. My spine cracked and lengthened, the sensation it created like nothing I had ever known. At the same moment my skull also cracked, the skull shrinking and changing as the wolf's muzzle morphed into a normal human face, and my paws lengthened into hands and feet, the fur falling away until I was covered by peachy flesh. The pain of the change was excruciating and at times I wondered if I would not live to see myself as a woman again.

Then suddenly, it was done. The pain was gone as if it had never been. My lungs labored to bring extra amounts of oxygen to my brain, and I lied on the bed, simply allowing my body to right itself. It was then that I noticed that my body was that of a woman. My long legs were spread out beneath me, and I stared at them for a moment before I moved them, amazed by the visible strength in their flexing muscles. I sat up slowly and my long hair cascaded down around my shoulders, a dark black blanket of silk. I looked down upon myself and marveled at the perfectly toned curves, my firm breasts and thin waist, declaring that everything about me was feminine.

A second later I was aware of another pair of eyes on my body and I realized that those petrifying silver-eyes were still locked upon me. I quickly grabbed the blanket off of the bed and wrapped it around myself, immediately jumping to my feet and backing into the corner farthest away from him.

Thunder sounded outside of the house and both of our gazes shifted to the door as a dark shape materialized there. He walked in towards the both of us, his face set in harsh lines of anger. He looked at me, cowering in the corner for a moment. The hard expression of his face faltered as his eyes roamed over my skin. I felt as if it were his fingers upon me, not his eyes, but just as quickly the sensation disintegrated as he looked back at the other man. "What have you done to her!"

"I did only as the Prince commanded…She would not have allowed us into her mind, no matter how much time was given. I had to force her to change."

"Force her?" The anger in his voice made me shiver, feeling the extent of his great power radiating from him. "She will never trust us now…I felt the pain within her as she changed. She is frightened of you and will not trust me now that I have allowed this to happen to her."

"You could not have stopped me."

"I am well aware of that, Gregori! But if you have deprived me of my lifemate I pray to God that your strength doubles, for it will take that much to kill me if I turn."

"Give it a rest, Christian, you may take your anger out upon Mikhail once we see him." The man called Gregori's voice was steady and calm, a direct contrast to the raging fire that heated Christian's.

"Why would we be going to him?"

"He wished for me to take her to him once she was a woman again. She needs to be taught our ways and Mikhail wishes to know of her past. There are many blanks within the puzzle that is your lifemate, Christian."

"YOU will not be taking her anywhere, Gregori." His eyes blazed at the man.

"Come now, Christian, we must see to it that all formalities are followed. This is your jealousy talking. Carpathian men are known for it, especially when dealing with their lifemates."

"I am sorry Gregori and I mean no disrespect to Mikhail, but I refuse to bring this scared and confused beauty into a dwelling of Carpathian males. She would not be safe from all of them. Some are so desperate for lifemates that they would take her as theirs even if it was not meant to be."

"Very well. I will tell Mikhail that you have requested some time before you bring her to him, but know that within three days you must have claimed her, or bring her to him regardless. If you do not it is not only me that you defy, but our Prince as well!" The man's form shimmered a moment before he was gone. I relaxed, feeling relieved that the stranger was gone, but something within me was still uneasy and so I pressed my body harder into the corner, knowing full well that there was nowhere for me to go.

Christian stood in the middle of the room, his chest heaving with anger. I found my eyes glued to his chest, marveling at the rippling of his muscles beneath his shirt. His eyes flicked over to me and he smiled. "How is it that now that I can touch your mind, there seems to be an even stronger barrier blocking me out."

My eyes retreated to the ground, not knowing the formalities of the human race, let alone Carpathian. _Was I allowed to look in the eyes of a man who was superior to me in strength?_ A wolf would never show anything but submission to a man like Christian. He walked towards me steadily, his eyes burning through the blanket and heating my skin. I sunk down onto the floor and lowered my head feeling indebted to him but still frightened of the immense power he held. I don't know if I was afraid that he would strike me or hold me, but either way, my instincts told me to make myself as small of a target as possible.

I felt a hand on my head a moment later, caressing my black hair with a tenderness that I had not expected. His fingers trailed down along my cheek and rested on my chin, raising my eyes to his. I allowed my face to meet his, but averted my eyes, still unwilling to trust him completely.

"Nathalie, _ma loup_, why do you hide from me?"

I looked into his eyes and saw deep within his soul. His breath caught as my eyes made contact with his and it was then that I knew that he would never intentionally harm me, but I still was unsure, refusing to use my voice to ask what he wanted of me.

"Will you not speak to me?" He said it softly his hand a firm pressure on my chin, urging me to my feet. I complied, clutching the blanket tighter around me as I stood, my eyes locked on his. "Please, grace me with the sound of your voice. I did not mean to allow such a terrible transformation to happen to you. I was unaware of what Gregori was doing and when I felt your pain I came straight here, please…I do not ask anyone for anything, it is not my nature, but I ask this of you." He reached out for me, wrapping his hand around my upper arm. His touch stirred unnamed emotions within me, that I dare called affection, and I was suddenly frightened of myself. Feeling uneasy, I clung to the blanket with a desperation that made his eyes turn solemn. "No? Still as aloof as your wolf counterpart?"

When I didn't respond he sighed, "Alright. Perhaps in time then…" He turned away from me and motioned towards the door off the back of the room. "Through there is the shower. I will lie out some clothes for you if you care to use it. Then this door," he said abruptly, pointing to the other wooden door. "is your exit. You may leave through it, if you do not wish to remain here. I will not hold you prisoner against your will, but know that you were meant to be with me, and if you leave you will live an empty life…an empty dangerous life. Carpathian men as well as vampires will seek you, but if you do not wish to be here, I can not force you to stay. All I want is for you to be happy."

I heard the sincerity in his voice and I felt something inside of me shift as I stared at his broad back. I tied the blanket around me so that it served as a temporary dress and walked slowly over to him. He did not move as I approached but I could hear his lack of breath, as if he was holding it in fear of scaring me away. I moved to stand behind him, holding my hands out, inches from his tensed back. I hesitated, not completely sure what I was doing, but knowing that I desperately wanted to ease his sorrow. I waited another moment before giving in and wrapping my arms around his back, resting my chin on his shoulder. "I am sorry." I said softly.

"She speaks…" he breathed, pitching his voice so that it was soothing and gentle. He turned within my arms and looked down upon my face, his eyes hopeful as he wrapped his own arms around my small body.

"I am sorry." I repeated softly.

"Yes, I heard you say that the first time, though I cant imagine what you are sorry for." He said as he gently began running his hand up and down my bare back.

"I…I don't know…"

"It's alright Nathalie, I understand. Never feel like you need to apologize to me for anything…."

"I don't know much of anything anymore…what is expected of me, what I am supposed to do." I eased away from him and buried my face in my hands, trying to hold back my tears of confusion. I dropped to my knees on the floor, not caring that I was making a scene of myself in front of this mysterious man. "I am so uncertain of everything! I do not know much about a human's life…let alone a Carpathian's…all I have had for all my life was the wolf, and now that she is gone, I feel so alone. So deserted and unwanted."

He was kneeling beside me in the blink of an eye, wrapping his arms gently around my shaking form. "Never say that again! You are not deserted and you are not unwanted! _You _are everything I want and need!" I turned my head away from him, not wanting him to see how weak I truly was. He caught my cheek with his palm and raised my eyes to his. I sniffled back my sobs, but the tears still cascaded down my cheeks in a steady current. His thumb caught one tear and brought it to his lips as he kissed the tear away. "Please, do not cry! I cannot stand to see your tears. They make me want to kiss away every last one of them, eliminating your pain from the inside out."

"I do not understand what I could have done to deserve such treatment from you. You barely know me."

"It makes no difference, my body knows you as does my soul, the mind will follow in time."

"How do you know we will have time?"

"Do you still doubt that you belong with me?"

"I doubt everything right now, Christian! I have never _belonged _to anyone in my life, why should I start now? And besides, how can I accept that I belong to someone I barely even know when I don't even know who **_I _**am! My anger began to grow as I looked up at this man who seemed so demanding of me. _How can I possibly accept a future mapped out for me? I haven't even had a past to call my own!_

**_I will make your future the happiest you can imagine, that I promise you!_**

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I nearly screamed at him, standing tersely and stalking towards the door he indicated was the bathroom. He stared after me and when I threw a glance back over my shoulder, his expressionless face never wavered, never showed any sign of emotion. I growled to myself as I slammed the door behind me, feeling like even though there was a door in between us, I still hadn't escaped his demanding eyes.


	6. Igniting Passion

_**Igniting Passion**_

I stepped into the steaming hot shower with anger pulsing through me, my body trembling from my raging emotions. _They don't understand! None of these men will understand! I will not have my future controlled as my past was!_ The water fell on my body in soothing bursts, running over my head and submerging me in its relaxing heat. I sighed aloud and leaned against the wall, letting the water wash away the anger within me as well as the soreness in my muscles from the change. _How dare he presume to know what would make me happy!_ Angrily, I noted that arguing to myself would do no good and so I decided to ignore all thoughts. I simply closed my eyes and lost myself within the sensation of the water trickling over every inch of my skin.

Just then, I felt a pair of fingers slide gently over my collarbone in a loving caress, the hand lingering on the sides of my neck. My eyes snapped open and terror filled them, searching around for the source of my fear. I was completely alone within the shower as I had been before, but a trail of fire still remained where I had felt the touch. I slowed my thudding heart and dismissed the sensation as an illusion and continued to enjoy the effects of the shower. I began shampooing my hair, loving the feel of my hands working through the mass, soon the incident was completely forgotten, like a bad dream.

Suddenly I felt the hand upon me once more, this time tracing a line in between my breasts and down to my stomach. I leapt away from where I was standing, but I could still feel the hand on my hips. Hot coiling emotions began to seep through my bloodstream as I stared at my own placid body, feeling hands roaming over my skin, though none were visible. I closed my eyes with pleasure as the sensation moved freely, not hesitant any longer. I hated myself for accepting this bizarre phenomenon with enjoyment but I had no choice, my body reacted on its on accord. I opened my eyes dazedly to find myself facing Christian. I gasped at his sudden apparition but did nothing to stop him as his hands continued to move along my body. At that moment I did not care how much I despised my own feelings, and simply locked onto his gaze, allowing his hands to continue to trace my every outline.

"You should not be in here…" I breathed, hoping he would note the truth in it and leave before I gave in to him completely.

"I have every right to be in here…"

"So much arrogance should not exist in a single man…" I murmured, hating that I didn't have the will to push him away from me. "I barely know you! You should not be in here." I repeated, my voice gaining strength as fear took hold. _What was I allowing him to do, and why! _

**_You are allowing this because you enjoy it!_**

**_That's impossible. _**I denied, trying not to allow the feelings coursing through my body to seep into my thoughts.

**_Oh really?_** He lowered his mouth to my neck and placed a kiss along my jaw, nipping gently with his teeth and then soothing the sting with a stroke of his tongue. I allowed my breath to escape from me through my teeth, hissing as he continued to move his mouth along my shoulders and neck.

"Christian! Please…I am not ready for this!" I attempted, beginning to be frightened by the possessiveness that was taking him over as his mouth became more demanding on my skin.

"You body suggests otherwise!" He said, his voice low and sensuous. Pure seduction.

"No! You must get out!" I broke myself away from him, with a determined step back. He looked up at me, his eyes glossy with want, his body tense with need. I felt the same need echoing within me, but I ignored it with determination.

"Nathalie." My name was a plea that was difficult to ignore.

"No Christian…Please. Leave me be!"

"Very well…" He said tersely, disappearing immediately.

I felt more alone than I ever had before as I turned off the shower and stepped out, drying myself with a towel as I mused over the mixed emotions swirling within me. I desired Christian, that was certain, but I barely knew him, so it could not be love and I didn't want to be with a man I did not love.

**_But you haven't even given us a chance to see if it is love! _**His voice was all reason and I found myself wondering if I could grow to love him.

**_Get out of my mind! You were not invited! _**I said harshly, wanting to change the subject completely.

_**Than get out here so that we may talk!**_

**_I will not take orders! _**I replied, the anger growing within me steadily.

I found clothes sitting out for me, soft blue jeans and a black racer back tank top. I put them on, attempting to overlook the fact that Christian must have put them there for me. I brushed my hair out with a hairbrush set out for me, the even strokes soothing my mind. Once I had finished, I allowed my mass of hair to fall elegantly down my back.

When I was presentable again, I took a deep breath and walked through the door, bracing myself for facing Christian. He was standing on the far side of the room fully clothed, leaning against the wall casually, as if nothing had happened. It made me even more furious!

"What did you think you were doing?" I fumed at him, becoming even more furious when he showed no emotion in return. He shrugged but said nothing. "What you just did was unacceptable! I do not know you nor do I know if I even want to! Your behavior is outrageous and so is your arrogant belief that you have a right to me! You have no control over me or what I do, and so I will be leaving! I thank you for your hospitality and I bit you farewell…" I trudged towards the door, but he was a step ahead of me, placing his body in the way of my exit. "Please step aside."

"No."

"Get out of my way!"

"No." His voice never changed.

I growled aloud and shoved at his chest attempting to force him to move. The effort was useless, he was as immovable as a brick wall. Casually, he raised his hands and placed them over my own, holding my palms against his chest. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"Please, just let me go…" I breathed.

"I cannot do that, _cherie_!"

"You do not own me!"

"No, I do not. But if I allow you to leave, another man will soon claim you, be he Carpathian, vampire or otherwise."

"No man can claim me!" I said stubbornly, purposely allowing all my knowledge of the Carpathian ways to elude me.

"But they can and they will. You are a Carpathian woman who has yet to be bound to her lifemate. Each man will think that you could be his, bringing him back from the depths of the darkness, giving him feeling and emotion once more. They will expect things of you that you could not give, and then grow angry at you for failing them…If you walk out that door, _ma loup_, you would be condemning yourself to a lifetime of use. For that is all the males would do to you. Use you."

"So what is it that **you **want with me?"

"I want your happiness and your safety…"

"I am sure…and what do you wish of me in return?"

He sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer, so that my frame was locked against his. "You are still as wary as a wolf…and as stubborn as one as well." He laughed, the sound escaping from his lungs, lightening the atmosphere in the room immensely. He was looking deep into my eyes as he spoke and I could see the genuine care for me that resided in their depths. I suddenly felt very guilty for accusing him of wanting me for his own needs.

"A wolf's life is nothing but a wheel of trust and mistrust. I am sorry that it translates over to me even as a woman."

"Like I said before, _mon amour_, you need not apologize for anything when you are with me. I am your lifemate, and I want you as you are. I would never wish anything to change about you."

"How do I know you are my lifemate and you aren't one of those type of men you were speaking of before. Those who would take me regardless of whether I was meant to be with them or not?"

He looked at me for a long moment. "Valid question," he murmured as if impressed that I would ask such a thing, but I could see that he was hurt by the question, even though he tried to hide it from me. "I recognize you as my lifemate. I see color and I feel emotion once again and after a lifetime of bleak darkness consuming my soul! You have brought light into my world and I am sorry that you cannot feel the same drastic change I feel….but…" He unraveled his arms from around me and raised his hands to frame my face. "Perhaps I can help you to feel the raging fire that consumes me whenever I look at you."

His mouth locked onto mine in a passionate kiss. I gasped at the sudden sensation of his lips upon mine but he swallowed the sound, trailing his tongue along my lower lip, demanding access. I complied without hesitation as my body turned to liquid fire and my knees gave out beneath me. His hands were on my hips, holding me upright as he eased us backward. His tongue within my mouth was tender yet insistent, and I soon felt the soft silk sheets whisper against my bare shoulders as he laid me down on the bed, his body covering mine with a gentle strength. I felt hunger and desire rise within me simultaneously. I knew he was within my mind, sharing his wild thoughts and needs with me as he continued to ravish my senses.

"You need to feed, _cherie_. Your hunger is distracting me." I could hear the tease within the statement but I couldn't laugh, my mind was not my own and I was feeling more than I had felt in years.

"I do not care…"

"Yes, but I feel it beating at me, demanding that I care for your need, and I cannot very well continue to do this if you are in need."

"I need you to not stop. I can feed later…"

"You do not understand. I am offering myself freely to you. Take what you need from me."

The haze he had created within my mind dissipated immediately. "What?" I looked at him above me, my self-control and common sense returning to me in a single rush. "No, no I couldn't…I haven't fed from a live, human source since before I was a wolf." I shied away from him, attempting to wriggle out from beneath him. He looked at me, astonishment taking over his gaze as he eased himself off of me, and lied by my side.

"How on earth did you survive? Did you eat flesh as a wolf does?" There was disgust in his voice as he said it.

"No! Never! I hunted with the wolves and drank from the kill."

"But feeding that way could never have given you enough blood to sustain yourself." I shrugged, not seeing the wonder within the story, only feeling guilty that I wanted him to quit speaking and move his mouth over mine again. "How did you live like that? How long were you a wolf?"

"Many lifetimes." I said, solemnly, realizing all I had missed within those years.

"It is no wonder you could not change back! Your strength and powers may very well be beyond anything we know our women to be capable of, the only thing holding you back is your lack of strength. You must feed as you were meant to…"

"I appreciate your concern Christian, but I cannot simply begin feeding from live sources again at the drop of a pin, least of all you! I could never take your blood. It wouldn't seem right."

"You already have, _mon amour_! When you were near death, you needed blood and so I supplied you with it. My blood is ancient and healed you faster than any mortal's blood could have…I had no choice if I wanted to save your life. I am sorry if it upsets you."

I stared at him, horrified that I could have taken his blood. "No, I am no monster like that. You are my friend and I would never…"

"Calm down, Nathalie. You haven't been amongst Carpathians for so long that I think you may have forgotten our ways. Your feeding from me does not cause me pain, quite the opposite…I am your lifemate and we are supposed to share blood. It is the only way you can feed once I have bound you to me. Even now, I despise the idea of you touching another man and the jealousy will only increase in time."

Time. He said it again. There was no doubt in my mind that he was truly my lifemate, I had never felt anything close to what I felt when he was touching me. I knew no other man could ever satisfy me the way he could, but I was still petrified of the idea of being 'owned' by someone as fiercely possessive as Christian. "I just don't know, Christian."

"I can compel you to drink from me, but you will not know what is happening…"

"No, I suppose I can do it on my own." I gulped.

"I could help you." He said, his mouth tilting into a sly grin.

I felt the erotic danger behind that smile and I nodded as the breath rushed out of my chest, wondering what he meant by 'help'. He smiled back at me, joyous emotions dancing upon his usually serene face. He pulled his silk shirt off over his head before he leaned his body over mine once more, setting his mouth to work upon my skin.

Within moments he had me gasping for breath, clutching him tightly to me, afraid that if I let go I would lose my sanity. He scraped his teeth along my throat, his tongue lingering over my pulse. Suddenly his teeth sunk into my flesh and I cried out in pain and pleasure alike. It felt so erotically beautiful that I couldn't help but writhe against him as he took my life fluid into his body. His tongue gently stroked the pin-pricks where his teeth had penetrated my neck, closing the wounds and lingering there, leaving trails of liquid fire everywhere his mouth touched.

I watched dazedly as he raised a hand to his own chest and a claw extended from his finger. He slid it over his skin and a fine line of crimson blood began oozing from the wound. I looked from the wound to his face and back again. **_Feed, _mon petite coeur** I felt the urge to obey his every whim as his velvet voice circled within my mind. I closed my eyes and swallowed the last bit of doubt I had before I lowered my mouth to his chest, testing his salty skin. The taste of his blood mixed with his natural, male scent only enticed me further and, wanting to be even closer to him, I sunk my teeth deep into his skin. The breath hissed from him in one swift exhale as his hand came up to hold my head against his chest.

I drank my fill and as soon as I was sure I had taken enough to sustain me, I swept my tongue over the wounds, healing them in the age old ways of our people. I broke away from him slowly, my eyes creeping up to meet his. He watched me for a few endless moments before he got off of me and removed himself from the bed. I felt a heated flush work its way up my neck as he turned to face me, leaning against the far wall once more.

"Christian…I…I don't know what happened to me…I am not like that normally…I-"

"Hush _ma loup_, I know what is going through your head. You forget, your mind is open to me as mine is to you. I will not ask anything of you as a lifemate yet. I see no reason why I cannot allow you some time _cheri_, but be forewarned that it cannot be much, for the safety of all."


	7. Standoff

_**Standoff**_

From what I remembered of Carpathian tendencies, I could recall that the males of our race were generally hard-headed, arrogant, protective and impatient. Though many of those traits held true for Christian, he couldn't be too horribly impatient of he was granting me time to take everything in. I smiled at him in gratitude.

"Thank you Christian. This is a lot to take in at once and I appreciate your understanding. I hope that if I am to be your lifemate, we can meet each other halfway sometimes…so, even though I cannot seem to act honorably around you, I think I can try control myself in return for your patience. If you would like to come back over by me, you may." I said, secretly hoping he might sit beside me, his unshakable frame leaning protectively against mine.

"I likewise appreciate the show of trust lifemate, but I do not trust **myself **near you…and so it's probably best if I remain here."

"Oh," I said, blushing as my eyes fled from his captivating black ones. I was about to change the subject when he quickly closed the space between us. My body tensed immediately, suddenly wondering if he had lost control of his desire for me, but when I looked up at him it was clear that he wasn't even thinking of me anymore. His body was relaxed, but his senses were clearly alert, every inch of him on edge.

Just then, a form began to shimmer a few feet away from him and a man stood facing us both. Christian's body moved swiftly to stand directly in front of me, like a beast protecting his mate.

"What do you want, Marcus?"

The man glared at Christian. "It has been said that you are have an unclaimed female in your midst." He looked over Christian's shoulder at me, a smile on his face, but greed in his gaze. "You have had plenty of time with her, so how about sharing if you don't plan on claiming her for yourself?"

"Get out of here!"

"If she does not belong to you, than you have no right to keep her from the rest of us! I know you are near turning, but so are many others…do not be selfish. Give her over to me!"

"No!"

I wanted to scream out. To say that I was right before them. They were talking as if I was an object, incapable of deciding what I wanted myself, but Christian's voice in my head stopped me.

**_Stay silent, mon amour, he is unpredictable and your voice would only make him more determined to have you. If for some reason he made it past me and stole you, you would be in grave danger. He is close to turning and if he takes you, he still would be able to turn…and if he did while he had you with him…I cannot imagine the horrors that would befall you. So please, for the sake of my sanity and your safety, stay silent._**

**_Christian? You are certain I am your lifemate? What if you only think I am, and he truly is. I cannot condemn him to become a vampire because I…I…_** I couldn't say it. Couldn't say that I loved him. I had no idea if it was love, but my body and soul cried out to say it.

**_…because you want to be with me. _**He finished modestly for me.

**_Yes. _**I confessed, purposely urging the word to caress his mind.

**_I ask you, I beg you…trust in me, mon amour. I will prove to you somehow that we belong together, but for now, please…do not doubt me. I need your trust._** For the first time since I had met him, I heard him sound desperate. My heart turned over at the sound.

_**And you have it.**_

****A growl erupted from the man called Marcus. "I know you two are speaking to each other! Whatever you two have to say, you can say it aloud!"

"Marcus, she belongs with me, and so I must ask you to leave…"

"I am not leaving without her!" He snarled, before his form shimmered and disappeared.

"You coward!" Christian roared, his rage becoming a part of him. He looked at me for a few moments, assuring himself that I was still unharmed before taking a few steady steps towards where he had disappeared.

"Has he left?" I asked softly, before finding myself pinned beneath the stranger as he reappeared over me. Christian knew the minute the man materialized. He swore loudly in the ancient as he spun around to face us both. My body revolted against the stranger's as he wrapped his arms around me. I yelped for Christian, but he was simply standing there, staring motionless, murder in his gaze. Marcus was glaring at Christian, while holding my hands down above my head, his weight crushing me down into the mattress.

"Christian" I cried, dread filling me as I became aware of every inch of the man touching me.

**_Remain calm. I have not abandoned you. He is threatening me with you…I cannot do anything as of yet. But no matter what happens Nathalie, know I love you and I will never give you up. I am sorry that I have allowed this to happen to you._**

"Silence your mouth! Christian was not meant for you. I am!" Marcus growled in my face, his fangs snapped and made me wince. I turned my head from him and realized too late that I had exposed my throat to his gaze. His eyes drifted down from my face to my neck. Without my consent, he lowered his mouth over my neck and began scraping his fangs over my skin. I felt my stomach lurch and tears rolled down my cheeks. He wasn't doing much, but I still felt violated. I chanced a glance at Christian and nearly gasped as I realized he was closer to us than he had been before, his eyes gleaming crimson in the dim candlelight.

He felt my eyes upon him and he met my gaze. **_Do not cry, cherie…I cannot bare to see you cry._**

**_Help me, Christian! I want him off of me…I do not want him to take my blood. _**I felt the tears running down my cheeks, searing my skin just like his teeth were.

_**The beast is raging at me, Nathalie. I am sorry but I cannot control him for much longer. I will protect you, but I will show no compassion or mercy. The beast in me does not know those words.**_

**_I do not care, Christian. His touch is making me sick. I will not blame you for anything you do. I believe that this man would not do anything solely for me as you have. Please, Christian. Help me!_** A moment later I felt the man being ripped off of me like a rag doll. I quickly sat up and removed myself from the bed, my eyes remaining on the two men in the middle of the room.

Christian had a hold of Marcus by his throat, pressing him up against the far wall. Marcus clawed at the hands around his throat, but to no avail. Christian had no intention of letting him go. Finding that he could not remove Christian's hands, Marcus turned his attention to slashing his claws at other parts of Christian. I watched in horror as he continued to strike Christian, leaving long gashing along his stomach, chest and face. Blood flowed steadily from the wounds, but Christian held on, not sparing any of his concentration. I knew they must have been attempting to use many of their powers, but each held the other at bay.

I suddenly felt very concerned for Christian and so I eased myself into his mind. Within him I saw the beast that he had been fighting for centuries taking hold of him, urging him to kill, to feel pleasure within the kill. Part of him was fighting it, chanting to himself that he had a lifemate, a reason to live, but I could see that the beast was far too strong and if I didn't intervene, he would kill this man and would be lost to me forever.

**_Christian, my love. Come back to me! Do not do this, do not kill this man. He is growing weak without air. Leave him and come back to me._** I spun the words around his mind, like a spider spins a web, hoping to ensnare him. I sent him images of us together, him holding me, his mouth on mine, hoping that my light could counter the beasts darkness.

Slowly, his hand released the man's throat and he fell to his knees gasping for breath. Christian knelt down and hauled the man to his feet, his strength holding the man up and tossing him out the door. "Threaten my lifemate again and I will not hesitate to kill you." Christian slammed the door in the man's face and began moving his hands in intricate patterns, safeguarding the door as well as the house from any more intruders.

He turned to me slowly, his movements a little more sluggish than before. I went to him without hesitation, wrapping my hands around his arm and directing him towards the bed. He followed my silent directions without delay, giving himself up to me and whatever intentions I had. Once I had him on the bed, I laid down beside him, leaning over his scratched body. The blood continued to flow from him steadily and I knew that even for him, losing blood would make him weak. I leaned over his marred body and began trailing my tongue over the lacerations, employing the healing powers of the Carpathian's saliva.

I found myself subconsciously lingering on some of the cuts longer than was necessary to heal it, enjoying the contact of my mouth on his body more than I should have. Finally I had healed all of the cuts except for the one across his face. I looked into his eyes a moment, shoving my black hair over one shoulder as I studied him. His eyes never left my face, deep dark pools that encircled my mind, body and soul. I trailed my mouth along the slash, following the cut from near his eye all the way down to the corner of his mouth. I felt myself pause a moment at the bottom of the cut, knowing that I was finished healing him and any other contact my mouth made with him was voluntary.

I threw all doubt and caution to the wind and fastened my mouth to his. He jumped to life at the contact of my mouth, no longer lying impassively beneath me. He took control of the kiss, desperately reaching for me, attempting to bring me closer to him.

"Nathalie," he groaned, "you drive me mad. The very sight of you causes so much emotion within me that I do not know how to handle it. Everything I once knew for certain is called to question. My resolve crumbles around you…" He moved his mouth to my neck and shoulders.

"Perhaps I should leave then…" I teased, knowing full well that neither of us could ever leave the other.

"Never!" He breathed against the sensitive skin of my neck. "You brought me back from the edge of turning, if you hadn't I would be a vampire as we speak. You cannot know how much it means to me that you did so. It was brave and selfless beyond belief. I do not know what I could ever do to deserve you."

I looked up at him, feeling completely loved for the first time in my life. I noticed that he was paler than usual and then suddenly remembered that he had lost a decent amount of blood from all the scratches across his skin. I tilted my head to the side, leaning my neck into his mouth. **_Take what you need from me, _**mon amour**_. I give it freely, with love and trust._**

_**Are you certain? I may not be able to stop myself here tonight from binding us together, if I do this.**_

****"I am your lifemate, Christian and I love you." As I said it, I knew it was true. Come what may, I would be forever happy in Christian's arms.


	8. Come What May

_**Come What May**_

I awoke the next evening to Christian's arms locked around me like iron bars, the soft comforting soil surrounding the both of us. He was still sleeping the deep rejuvenating sleep of our people, and so I had a few minutes to gather my thoughts.

My first thoughts were of the night before. I remembered it flawlessly, detail for detail. He had lost blood while protecting me from the other Carpathian male and when I saw the extent of his blood loss, deep within me I felt the need to provide for him. The instinct ran as deep as time itself and he had hesitantly obeyed, taking my life source into him, restoring the depleted cells in his body to full strength. The exchange had been so erotic and beautiful that for a moment I wanted it to never stop. Christian seemed lost within the sensation as well, his eyes closed with sheer pleasure. Within my mind I heard the words being said, the words that would bind us together for all time. **_I claim you as my lifemate. I belong to you. I offer my life for you. I give you my protection, my allegiance, my heart, my soul and my body. I take into keeping the same that is yours. You are my lifemate, bound to me for all eternity and always in my care. _**

****I had closed my eyes at the mesmerizing sound of his voice, vowing his loyalty and love to me. I hadn't wanted to give up my freedom to a man so quickly after being a woman again, but I found myself swooning over the ritual words. I felt his tongue slide over the marks his teeth had made, closing them without leaving evidence that they had ever been. He looked me in the eyes then, hunger and desire flooding his gaze, sweeping over me with determination. I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the harsh mating ritual, knowing that I couldn't escape his hungry gaze now that he had taken my blood. He was aroused and the fact that I was unready for a relationship on that level wouldn't matter to him.

I was surprised when he moved away from me, giving me space to breathe. "Thank you, Nathalie, _mon amour_."

I blinked with confusion. "It was my pleasure…" I murmured.

"No, the pleasure was all mine, I am sure…" he said, suppressing the urge to laugh at the innuendo. I laughed back, catching the irony within the words. "Nathalie," he began seriously, "I know what you are thinking, you cannot hide your confusion from me. Yes, taking your blood did something to me that I would have never expected, but your happiness is the first thing I want, and so I will wait until you are ready…I will not place you in any situation that you do not wish to be in."

"I am sorry, I don't mean to doubt you, nor is it that I do not want us to be together as we were meant to be, but there are so many things that are confusing to me. I haven't been a woman in centuries and I do not know the first thing about what is expected of me."

"I understand. I will care for you, teach you our ways, help you develop your powers further and if we happen to become close in that time, so be it. But until the time that you tell me you are ready, I will do my best to respect your wishes. Now, let us go to ground before the sun is upon us." He used his first two fingers to caress my cheek before lacing his fingers through mine and leading me to the secret underground chamber.

I raised a hand to will the soil away from our bodies so that I could look at Christian beside me. He was as still as death, his lungs and heart eerily silent. To any human he would seem long since dead. I had been used to rising early in the evening with the wolves, before the sun had fully set, but Christian hadn't had to adjust to the sun as I had. He would always wake after me.

I had the wicked urge to wake him in my own way, but wondered what would become of playing with fire. His resolve to give me the time and space I needed only made me more eager to be with him in the way that he wished. I moved so that I was leaning over him and I placed my mouth over his, whispering into his mind that he should wake. I felt his first breath and swallowed it before he had a chance to let it out, moving my mouth over his with a fervor that surprised us both. He raised his hands to tangle them within my hair, urging me to continue. I did so for a few moments longer before I released his mouth and looked down at him. He was breathing raggedly, staring up at me in utter disbelief.

"That was to thank you for your compassion." I said softly. I lowered my head to his bare chest and placed another group of hot searing kisses there. "And that was thanks for giving me time, when your body makes other such demands on you." I was about to move lower when his hand on my upper arm stilled me.

"Nathalie, you do not wish to do this. You are not ready to handle a physical relationship with someone like me."

I blushed, knowing that in truth I didn't believe I was ready, but given the way he was looking at me, I couldn't resist repaying him for his kindness. He gently eased into my mind and saw that this was my way of thanking him for giving so much to me.

"You owe me nothing Nathalie," he said as he eased me off of him, his hands on my arms.

"I owe you everything, Christian. I would be dead if you hadn't come to rescue me. The least I can do is try to be what you want me to be." I said softly, averting my eyes as I climbed out of the soil.

He followed me out, placing his body in front of mine before I could get too far. His hand quickly rose to my face, lifting my chin so that I couldn't avoid his gaze. "What I want you to be? You are what I want, as you are. I have said it many times but I will repeat it until you believe me. You are my lifemate and I wouldn't wish anything to be different about you…with the sole exception of your doubt. You doubt too much. It is not necessary. I will love you no matter what, as I was meant to. You are the only woman for me and that will never change."

"Christian. Your not making it easy. I want to be your other half, I just don't know how to go about it…"

"Please…do not worry so. Let us spend the evening together. Nothing will be expected of you, we'll just get to know each other."

"Alright." I said, finding comfort in the way he was attempting to accommodate my insecurities. "I really do appreciate what you are doing for me."

"I am your lifemate, I can do no other." He took my hand and laced his fingers through mine, leading me up the stairs and through the house, into the peaceful night air. Once we were outside, I took a deep breath, enjoying the comfort that only the night could provide. Carpathians were creatures of the night and my soul rejoiced at the beauty of the darkness surrounding me. I closed my eyes and allowed Christian to lead me by the hand through the woods surrounding his home, simply enjoying the whisper of night time secrets being carried to me on the light breeze. Predators hunted, prey slept, water trickled along a ravine, everything was teeming with life, and I was once again a part of it, but not as a wolf, as a woman.

Just ahead of us was a glistening lake and I felt sudden joy at the sight. I eased my hand out of Christian's and took off at a run, willing my clothes off of me in mid air, plunging into the dark water. I surfaced a good distance away from the shore and looked back at Christian who was openly gawking at my sudden spontaneity. I watched as he removed his clothes as well and walked into the water. His muscular form delineated in the moonlight. I felt heat spread deep within my stomach at the sight of his bare, powerful body and I quickly submerged myself, hoping the water would cool the fire raging through my blood.

I began to swim around the lake, making sure that I kept a good amount of distance between Christian and me. He seemed content to watch me at a distance, his passionate eyes following my every move. My mind slipped into his, remaining nothing more than a shadow, surveying his thoughts. The pictures he had in his head excited and terrified me simultaneously. I sunk down low into the water and swam as hard as I could to the opposite side of the lake, frightened not only by his erotic thoughts, but my body's reaction to them as well. I resurfaced and ran my fingers through my hair, trying hard not to be overwhelmed by the intense emotions taking over.

I felt Christian's eyes on me and I snapped back to reality. When I looked at him, I found him less than a foot away, smiling down at me. "What?" I asked skeptically.

He shook his head. "Nothing, _ma cherie_, you fascinate me is all."

"How so?"

"You are a Carpathian fantasy. Your beauty is heightened in the moonlight and the water cascades around you, making it hard for me to resist you. I apologize, but cannot help but stare."

I blushed. "I think the moon is playing tricks on you."

"No, I think not. You are gorgeous. Your beauty is without contest. My sanity abandons me when I look at you, my breath catches in my throat and my heart skips a beat." he admitted, trying to catch my eyes, though I tried my hardest to avoid his intense gaze. "And yet you doubt it. You think I lie to you. You are my lifemate. There cannot be untruths between us and you know this, yet you still do not see yourself the way I see you. I beg you, merge your mind fully with mine so that you can see the woman I see before me."

"Christian, no. I do not wish to see that woman. It is the woman I will never be."

"What on earth do you mean?"

"I don't know how to be a woman! I don't know the first thing about it. I know how to hunt and how to survive as a wolf, but I do not know anything about what I am to be now that I no longer have fur and a tail." It was astonishing that I found myself naked within a lake, my body very close to his, telling him all my secret fears. _What on earth had made me want to tell him?_

"Why should that matter?"

"You are not listening to me, Christian! I don't know what to do. I don't know how I am supposed to feed. I don't know how to use any of my powers, nor do I even know what they are! And without you, I don't even know if I would know enough to stay out of the daylight."

"Of course you would. And regardless, all this knowledge will come with time and experimentation. I will be with you every step of the way. Everything will be alright."

"No, that is the worst of it all! I don't know…oh, God, Christian…I don't know how to love you. In every sense of the term." I finally blurted, turning my back to him as embarrassment took over.

"Is that why you shy away from me?" For the first time since I had met him, he sounded truly shocked.

"There are plenty of other women who are more beautiful than I, and all of them would be able to give you pleasure. I don't know if I will ever be able to leave the wolf within me behind. A part of her spirit still resides within me and she intends to protect me from you." I felt his hands grasp my shoulders and I shivered, not knowing whether it was from the cool water or his touch. He moved them lower, tracing the lines my back, occasionally slipping a few fingers around to brush against my stomach. I gasped and felt my heart leap, thudding against my chest with fear and uncertainty.

"Do not fear me, Nathalie. You are insecure and there is only one way I know to change that." He spoke the words against the sensitive skin of my back as he placed a tender kiss there.

"Christian" I breathed, feeling him sending me waves of warmth, reassurance and love. "I am so frightened…frightened that I may disappoint you." I murmured over my shoulder as his arms encircled me.

"You cannot do such a thing. It is impossible, _mon amour_!" I turned in his arms wanting to speak directly to him, unintentionally pressing my body against the length of his. He sucked in a sharp breath and I knew that I was tempting him, straining his self-control. I attempted to step away from him, but his arms would not release me. "Nathalie, you cannot know the extent of what you do to me…"

"Please, forgive me, Christian, I did not mean to entice you."

"You do it without thought, without intent…you cannot help the fact that my mind, body and soul cries out for you whenever I see you."

"Christian, please…" I begged, hoping he would stop saying such beautiful things to me. I did not wish harm to come upon him. I knew the wolf was lurking somewhere in my subconscious, waiting for the opportunity to take over once more. I could feel her anger as she paced in the shadows of my mind, her need to protect me at all costs, even if the danger came from myself. She would overtake me the instant I let my guard down, attacking Christian the moment he was least prepared for it. I could read her plan as easily as if it were my own. Gregori had thought he had released me from the wolf, both of the men thought that, but neither of them understood. The wolf was a part of me, I was two beings, one a compassionate Carpathian woman, the other a relentless she-wolf, sworn to protect her ward with her life.

Christian looked deeply into my eyes and I saw the pain within them. He wanted nothing more than to make me believe that he loved me unconditionally, and it pained him beyond belief that I would not trust him with my heart. He released me reluctantly, a gentle groan escaping his lips as the cold wind surrounded us, seeping into the space between our bodies. I stared at him a moment, seeing his eyes glistening like the surface of the lake. His mind gently nudged mine, requesting to merge with me, but I blocked him out. I felt the extent of his sorrow when he realized I had closed my mind off to him. He felt as if he had failed me, though nothing could be farther from the truth. It was I who had failed him.

Suddenly, everything seemed far too overwhelming and so I turned my back to him and bolted, running as if the devil himself was on my heels, using preternatural speed that I hadn't even known I possessed. I felt him begin to follow, and so I ran even faster, employing all the skills I had acquired from the she-wolf in addition to all the abilities of a Carpathian. Running in the wild touched the huntress deep inside me and I felt her climbing to the surface. I was about to leash her once more when I felt a dark stain spread across the sky above me. I stopped running for a second to survey my surroundings. All at once the nightlife had been silenced, as if it too had felt the evil cloud taking over.

I broke out at a run once more, sensing that whatever had caused the change in the atmosphere had sensed my presence and was now hunting me. _The predator had become the prey. _Suddenly I stopped abruptly, finding myself blocked off by a rapid flowing river. I stared in horror for a moment before taking off once more, following the line of trees and looking for a way across the deadly barrier. I looked over my shoulder occasionally as I ran, feeling extremely uneasy not knowing where the threat actually was.

I felt faintly comforted when I saw nothing over my shoulder and so I casually turned to look back in front of me and found myself face to face with a creature that I was so appalling that couldn't have created one such as him within my nightmares. I stopped running and stared, caught within the gaze of a ravenous vampire. His skin grey and shriveled around his skeleton, his teeth pointed and stained a dark red, fringing on black as he smiled knowingly at me. My eyes were wide with terror as his red rimmed snake-like eyes devoured the sight of me. I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was naked but I could not find the courage to move, simply remaining where I was, frozen on the spot.

"Well, hello, my dearest." His voice held a hidden compulsion to come closer to him and I found myself wanting to obey, to allow myself to be held within his arms, desiring his mouth upon mine, upon my neck, taking my blood from me. I shook my head, attempting to rid myself of the image.

"What do you want?" I demanded, my voice shaking as I spoke, betraying my true emotions.

"I want you, nothing more and nothing less…" He said, extending his clawed hand towards me. "Come to me, my dearest and see how our people were meant to live, with power beyond your wildest dreams…" He spun the words like a web, ensnaring all within hearing distance. I began to walk to wards him, and all too soon, I found his arms wrapped around me, his putrid breath beating against my face. He lowered his mouth to my neck, breathing against my pulse before he looked me in the eyes, allowing me to see his intent. Within a moment he had me backed against a tree, the tattered rags that served as his clothes, shed from his body, leaving him bare before me as well. I felt the terror rise within me, but I knew that is what he thrived on and so I forced myself to remain silent as he moved his hands over my body, leaving no part of me untouched.

When I felt his hand move between my legs, the fear within me finally took hold and a scream of terror escaped my throat. Suddenly, the wolf within me broke away from the trance he had over my mind and body, catching on to the trap being set. She demanded that I run immediately, enforcing the command with a deep growl. When my body made an attempt to listen but didn't move a muscle, she jumped to the forefront of my mind, forcing me to shape-shift.

My scream of agony echoed throughout the forest and the vampire jumped back, gawking at me in astonishment, not having the slightest clue what was happening. The change was equally as painful as before, and I fell to the floor, my body convulsing viciously as my mind, and spirit was torn in two. A few excruciating minutes later the pain subsided, and only a dull ache was left in its wake. I got to my feet and looked back at the vampire. He hissed furiously at me and I returned the gesture, baring my fangs at him, a snarl escaping my throat.

"What have you done?" The vampire questioned furiously. I simply crouched down low, preparing myself for his attack. I saw the resolve within the undead's eyes, he decided that since he couldn't rape me, he would take the one thing I had left to offer, my life. He began to sway his head back and forth, using the movement to mesmerize me. The wolf recognized the action as the proceedings of a cobra's attack, and didn't fall for the trick, circling her enemy with a killing rage.

The vampire made his attack, thinking that he had hypnotized me and at the last moment I leapt out of his way, using my powerful back legs to launch myself at the creature's throat as he passed. I clamped down onto his throat but realized all too quickly that I could not kill him in that manner as he screeched in rage and flung me from him. I felt a bone snap within me, but I blocked out the pain, leaping to my feet and throwing myself at him once more. I sunk one paw into his chest, my claws piercing his flesh and nearly reaching his heart. At once the tainted blood began to burn me and so I had to quickly pull it out, favoring the paw as I retreated towards the trees limping as fast as I could. The vampire came up behind me, the dark pools of blood following him, moving as if they had a mind of their own.

"Come back, she-wolf and become the woman once more. If you do so, I promise although I may take your body, I will spare your life…refuse to do so and you will be in so much pain that you will beg for death."

"Touch her again and I will see to it that you feel my wrath even in the afterlife." Christian's voice was a welcome sound to my ears and both the woman and the wolf rejoiced at the sound. I turned to look behind me, knowing that I couldn't make it much further. I laid down at the edge of the trees giving in to the fatigue and pain, knowing that whatever would happen, at least now I knew the creature that killed me would have to pay for his crime. **_Don't you dare think that way. _**I looked down at my paw and saw that the fur had been singed away, leaving a bloody mess of tattered flesh, the bone visible just below the black stain. I knew my flesh was being eaten away but there was nothing I could do about it. Christian's gasp sounded within my mind. **_Oh God…look at you…What have I allowed to happen to you._**

**_Don't presume that this was your fault. I ran away from you, but leave all thoughts of me behind, you do not need the distraction._** The wolf wanted to lick the wound, thinking it was just like any other, but Christian's sharp command not to was impossible to defy.

I felt Christian reluctantly shutting his mind off from me as he turned to face the demon.

"So…You were closer to turning than you let on, were you Marcus?"

"Do not lecture me, you refused to give me the woman…I blame you for my lost soul."

"Blame whoever you like, but ultimately, it was your decision. Come to me and die with honor as a Carpathian should."

"Never!" He howled as he flew directly at Christian, his abhorrent face set with determination.

A moment later the creature was standing still before Christian, shock the only visible expression on his face. I watched dazedly as Christian stepped away from the undead, the pulsing organ that was his heard held firmly in his hand. Marcus sputtered and hissed at Christian as he fell to the ground, clawing his way towards his heart that Christian had thrown carelessly to the ground.

The sky rumbled as a bolt of lightning streaked to the earth incinerating the heart, the contaminated puddles of blood and the moving body as well, removing all traces of the monster. My head was suddenly far too heavy to hold up and it flopped the ground with an audible thud. I felt a pair of arms surrounding me and lifting me off the ground.

**_Christian._** I murmured his name within my mind, knowing that I was in his care once again. I felt the poison of the vampire coursing through me, as my paw burned without mercy.

**_I am here, mon amour. Stay strong. Do not leave me. Stay with me._**

My eyelids grew heavy and as the pain within my body began to grow worse, I welcomed unconsciousness, Christian's words were the last thing I could clearly remember as the darkness overtook me.


	9. Savior of the Darkness

_**Savior of the Darkness**_

I lifted her limp body into my arms, my heart plummeting to my feet as I noticed that even the wolf was giving herself up to my care. Her eyes were tightly closed, giving me no chance to try and judge the extent of the pain she was feeling through her usually expressive eyes. My eyes drifted down to her right paw that was dangling limply as I carried her. It was a bloody mess, flesh torn and hanging off of her paw in revolting strips. I moaned softly to myself, thinking of the agony she had to be in. This was my doing, I should have held her closer to me, bound her to me, that way she could have never eluded me.  
When she had run off I tried my best to follow her, but she used preternatural speed, giving herself a decent head start. Tracking her was easy enough, but she hadn't stood still for more than an instant, making the chase significantly harder for me and since we hadn't been completed the ritual, I couldn't slip into her mind with as much ease as I would have liked.  
We were halfway back to my home at the edge of the forest when a soft whimper escaped, a wrenching sound that came from deep within her heart. My own heart thudded against my chest as I eased my mind gently into hers, purposely making certain that the wolf could not mistake my probe as a threat.  
_**Nathalie, **ma loup**, do not give up on me. **_  
**_Christian? _**Even her voice echoing within my mind was weak.  
"Yes, mon bébé, it's me and I will not let any more harm come to you." I said tenderly against the soft ebony fur of her neck.  
**_I am sorry for running away from you...I just...I just didn't want to fail you...disappoint you... I guess it was no use. I have done so anyway, now. _**  
"Hush now. You protected yourself until I got there. That was miraculous. Most women, even Carpathian ones, wouldn't have been able to accomplish that! But hush now and save your strength, the vampire's poison is coursing through your veins even as we speak."  
**_Christian, I am frightened. I know I shouldn't have bit him, but that was the only way the wolf knew to defend herself. I had no say in the matter...but now, I am feeling it's effects and I am frightened, Christian. So very frightened. Promise me, that should the worst happen, you will destroy me. I do not want to prey on innocent children. _**  
"Do not say such things. I will take care of you and you will be perfectly fine again." But somewhere within my soul, I felt a clenching fear take hold. She had far too much of the vampire's tainted blood running through her system. It was only a matter of time until the vampire's blood took over her Carpathian blood, causing her to lose her soul and become one of the undead. I felt her mind tentatively slipping into mine, attempting to see what she truly looked like through my eyes. I smiled at her determination, but instead sent her images of her as a woman, the memory of her beauty enough to make my body tense.  
I heard a faint laughter sound within my head. **_Come now, Christian, I may not be fully aware of what's going on, but I do know that that is not what I look like right now. _**  
"It doesn't matter, mon amour, that is how I will always see you."  
**_Even if I turn? _**  
"Bébé, you are my lifemate, what happens to one, happens to both. If you turn, the dark beast within me will take me as well and we'll both be lost. If you won't stay strong for yourself, stay strong for me. I have lived so long without feelings and emotions and now that I have them, I want to experience them to the fullest. Stay with me. Help me to learn what my life, my suffering was all for. Stay with me."  
**_That is a lot to place on a single woman's shoulders. _**  
"I have faith in you. You are stronger than you believe you are."  
My house was in sight as I said the words and I felt a great sense of relief at the sight, knowing that she had a chance now that I had her back to safety. I sent out a mental call to Gregori, hoping that he was near enough to come to my aid.  
I didn't wait for a reply, and instead concentrated on getting Nathalie inside, immediately taking her to the room that held the trap door to my sleeping chamber. I willed it open with a careless sweep of my hand and carried her gently down the stairs, lying her on the bed for a moment as I moved about the room lighting candles and crushing healing herbs so that the soothing aroma filled the air. I leaned over Nathalie's wolf body on the bed, stroking her fur gently in an effort to calm her.  
Gregori shimmered into form beside me and Natalie's heavy eyelids lifted for a moment when she sensed his presence. A small feeble growl escaped from her before she gave up, lying back down as her body began to feel like lead once more. Gregori and I watched in horror as she was suddenly overcome with anguish, the extent of her suffering tearing at my heart and soul. I forced myself back within her mind, taking as much of the pain onto myself as possible. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough and we were both in agony until the wave passed. If we didn't remove the poison from her system soon, the tainted blood of the vampire would cause her more agony than she could handle and she would unintentionally become one of the undead.  
Gregori immediately placed his hands upon her and her eyes snapped open, malevolence mixing with the misery within the wolf's sparkling green-blue eyes. It was clear that Nathalie and her wolf counterpart did not approve of Gregori lending his healing powers, but at this point it didn't matter. She was in serious need, and although she may not like having to accept Gregori's help, she knew she had no other choice.  
"Quite the spirit isn't she?" Gregori asked, a hint of amusement within his tone.  
"Not if we do not heal her quickly."  
Gregori nodded and immediately concentrated on the task before him, becoming utterly still as he became pure energy, seeking outside his body and into hers. I felt the beast within me rear its head, baring its teeth at the thought of Gregori being within her body when I was not.   
**_Be calm, Christian. I have my own lifemate and therefore am one of the safest males you could have within your woman. _**I noted what he said as the truth and swallowed my jealousy. Jealousy would in no way help Nathalie and that was all that mattered at the moment.  
Gregori returned to his body only a few minutes after he had began healing her. I immediately felt uneasy, knowing that he couldn't have healed her so remarkably fast. Something had to be wrong.  
"Christian, I cannot heal her in her wolf form. There are no pores to push the poison out through. And worse, the wolf is a predator and something within the vampire's blood calls to the huntress, putting Nathalie in more danger than either of us can comprehend. I would compel the change upon her, but the pain of forcing her would, in turn, cause her soul to be lost to us. She must change on her own to be healed."  
"But she doesn't know how! She isn't even fully aware of what is occurring here!"  
"I know Christian."  
"So what do we do?" My voice remained stoically calm, but inside I was panicking, my heart raging at the thought of losing her to the undead.  
"You have to reach out to her, and make her want to change...I wish you luck, for that is all the advice I can give you. If you should accomplish this miracle, I will immediately enter her body and heal her as quickly as possible."  
I regarded Gregori for a moment. "If we should fail, destroy me first before you destroy her. Catch me immediately and I wont have time to turn. If she turns so will I, and she will be much easier to kill than I will."  
"I promise I will give you an honorable death, but in all due respect, we do not know the extent of her powers...she may very well become a formidable opponent, even for once such as me. But I will see to it that both of you are swiftly sent to the afterlife. You have my word."  
"Thank you for all you have given me, Gregori."  
I looked back at the wolf lying passively on the bed, her body curled onto itself, as if frightened of the pain that was undoubtedly on her heels. I reached out with my hand and my mind simultaneously, placing my hand on her body, carefully avoiding the areas where her fur was stained crimson as my mind made contact with hers.  
_**Nathalie? Come to me, **bébé_  
**_Christian? _**The terror in her mind made my soul lurch.  
_**Yes, **mon amour_. I sighed, knowing by the thoughts swirling in her head that it would take quite a bit of persuasion to urge her cowering spirit out from the dark corner of her mind. _**Please, come to me, **ma loup_. **_I will protect you if you only trust in me. _**It was then that I saw the memory within her mind, the extent of what horror the vampire reaped upon her. I saw her pressed up against the tree, felt her shame as his hands touched her in ways that were so revolting that her body was still rebelling at the memory. I felt the rage begin to rise within me, as I felt her stark terror as his hand touched her very core. Her spirit backed further into the corner of her mind when she felt my anger and I quickly dulled it down, knowing that I would be making a deadly mistake if I frightened her further. **_Do not fear me. I think only of your happiness. _**  
**_You mean you are not angry that I allowed the creature to touch me? _**  
**_I could never be angry with you. And regardless, I can feel the horror you felt as he did so... _**I hesitated a moment, not knowing whether I should voice my next thought. I gave in and said it despite the possible consequences. **_...nothing like what I could make you feel doing the same thing... _**Her body shuddered in response, her soul inching out from the corner subconsciously, being lured by the beauty of my voice and the erotic pictures I painted within her head. **_I could show you a world of beauty and passion that you could only dream of, if you remain with me. But you must listen to me, or you will soon be lost to me and become the same creature that has scarred you so unforgivably. _**  
**_I do not wish to become a monster such as he, and I do not wish to cause you to become like him either. _**She said it boldly, despite her growing fatigue.  
**_Than come to me. Become the woman once more. I accept both sides of you and I promise that I will give the wolf the same amount of love and pleasure I have promised the woman. _**  
I retreated from her mind, knowing that I had done my best and now it was up to her to save herself. I looked at Gregori and we both waited in silence, the tension in the air dense, like a cloud of smoke. The wolf raised her head slowly, the movement causing her a great deal of pain, she let out a sorrowful howl before allowing her head to fall unceremoniously back on the bed.  
"What has happened?" I asked Gregori, knowing full well that he was as clueless as I.

I felt the beast raging against the chains I had upon it, each link bending slightly with each lunge from the great predator. I felt my fangs lengthen and I quickly closed my eyes, chanting Nathalie's name over and over within my head, hoping that the memory of her light would be enough to leash the beast once more. It clawed to the surface, thinking that it was finally free, when a soft intake of breath from Gregori caused my eyes to snap open and the beast to retreat to the shadows once more.  
I immediately turned my attention to the wolf on the bed. Her body was shivering lightly as if she was simply cold. I gasped aloud with joy as I watched, in a completely different manner than before, a woman begin to form out of the wolf's body. The extending of the bones was graceful as the fur melted away, leaving beautiful patched of silky skin. The breath sawed in and out of me, as I stared at her, entranced by the sight of her becoming human once again, this time solely for me. Gregori placed his hand on my shoulder, muttering something that I didn't listen to. I felt as if the world had fallen away beneath my feet and if I took my attention off her, she would disintegrate, as would I.  
Her green-blue eyes locked onto mine for a minute, her chest laboring with the effort to breathe normally. I took in the sight of her, sprawled out on the bed and then as she arched her back, being overcome with the pain of the poison still coursing through her body, I shot an angry glance at Gregori, only to find that he was already working his magic, healing her from the inside out. I felt helpless as I looked on, not being able to do anything but sing the healing chants and hope that Gregori worked quickly. I chanced a glance at her hand and found that it was still a mangled mess, her skin looking as if it had been placed over a fire, black blood oozing from the wound. But then I noticed that she was oozing everywhere, tiny beads of black tainted blood were being forced out through her skin.  
I quickly moved my hand to form a towel and I began to wipe off the remaining traces of the poison on her body. Her eyes drifted open as I ran the cloth gently over every inch of her. When I felt the tentative brush of her mind, requesting entrance, I nearly wept with happiness.  
_Mon amour_, **_you are alright!_**  
**_I believe I will be, yes. _**Her voice within my head hadn't changed, but the look in her eyes was all the reassurance I needed. Within the depths, I saw hope and I knew that the danger was passed and she wouldn't be leaving me this evening. She remained a shadow in my mind, observing herself through my eyes.  
**_Wow, I'm a wreck!_** She said with a tinge of humor.**_ If I were you I would run, before I actually get attached to you and there's no turning back! _**  
**_That is what I am hoping for._** I responded, smiling down at her.  
Gregori returned to his body and surveyed her as well, skillfully hiding his own fatigue. I thought to offer him my blood to replenish his strength, but I knew that he would not except. His only thought now would be returning to his lifemate. "She should be fine in a few days. She will need the deep portions of her wounds packed with soil and saliva. Her hand should be wrapped as well...she will also need blood, but I am assuming that you do not wish me to provide for her."  
I felt my fangs lengthen at the thought of Nathalie taking blood from Gregori. "No, thank you Gregori. I am indebted to you already."   
"Take care of her. I will inform Mikhail of the night's events. I will return once I have spoken to him."  
"Thank you." He nodded and took a few steps towards the door before becoming invisible before our very eyes. I smiled after him and then looked back at Nathalie, who was watching me through veiled eyes. I gently raised her injured hand to inspect it. It was still red and irritated, but the skin had been mostly healed so that it now looked like she had been sliced a few times with a sharp knife, instead of it having been burning beyond recognition. I lifted it to my mouth and found the first scrape with my tongue as she watched in silence. I found the next scratch immediately after and moved my mouth over it as well, this time spending a few unnecessary moments on an area that was no longer injured. I merged my mind with hers and found that she knew my purpose was not only to heal her, but she accepted the treatment anyway, allowing my mouth to soothe her hand. I studied her thoughts for a moment, wondering whether humor would lift her spirit.  
"Is there **anywhere **_else _you have been hurt?" I asked, purposely extenuating certain words to make it clear that I was teasing her. I was rewarded with a true smile. She raised her uninjured hand and placed it upon my face, tracing my jaw line with her fingers. "Ah, I know..." I murmured, lowing my mouth to hers and kissing her deeply. I felt her mind become one with mine as she gave in to the sensation of my mouth on hers, all her pain and fear disappearing in an instant. Reluctantly, I pulled back before I couldn't resist her any longer. The beast within me was already roaring at me to take what was rightfully mine, not caring that she had recently been injured.

She stared at me in awe, her eyes glossy, like the surface of a frozen lake. "What? Were you not hurt there as well? I am sorry." I joked, feigning guilt.

Her eyelids drifted down, as she sighed contentedly. **_The last thing that kiss made you feel, Christian, was guilt._** I laughed aloud, the sound startling me, a foreign sound to my ears. But when I thought to thank her, realizing she was the reason laughter had become part of my world once more, she was sound asleep. I pulled her pliant form against me, wrapping my arms protectively around her while she slept, remaining awake to watch over her for as long as physically possible. _I would never allow her to be harmed ever again as long as I lived!_


	10. Two Separate Creatures

_**Two Separate Creatures**_

I awoke deep within the ground the next evening, feeling a little sore but otherwise no worse for the wear. I willed the soil off of me and was startled when it actually moved. I needed blood horribly, and it was inescapably clear that I was very weak, and yet, the soil had moved with the power in my mind. I marveled at that for a moment as I climbed out of the ground. I was instantly met with an extended hand. I took it without looking, knowing that it was Christian's hand assisting me. I staggered when my feet met the dirt floor of the sleeping chamber but Christian's powerful arms were quick to take hold of my waist, holding me upright.

"You should have remained asleep, you are still far too weak…" He said, clearly intending to reprimand me. I raised my hand and placed it over his lips, silencing that perfectly sensual mouth of his.

"What? And give you a few risings to not have to worry over me? Never! Plus you wouldn't have anyone to order about…and I know how horrible that would be for you. You would waste your arrogant domineering nature…"

He smiled at me, his cold eyes warming with laughter. "I would worry about you regardless…but you still should remain in the ground for a few more risings…"

"You know you wouldn't want me apart from you anyway. You little liar!" I teased, feeling bolder and more in control when I did so. Suddenly I realized that he had been awake before me and that made no sense.   
"Why have you risen far before me?" I asked him.

"You needed rest…" He said simply, shrugging his shoulders with a casual ripple of powerful muscle.

"You forced me?" I asked, suddenly outraged.

"It seemed necessary. I couldn't very well watch over you if I was still below ground, now could I?" There was a hint of male arrogance within his voice that set my teeth on edge.

I was about to reprimand him, but then I remembered all he had done for me, and the fact that I owed him my life many times over. I took in his unshakable strength for a moment and then looked at the floor, the wolf within me finally giving into his superior strength and demanding my submission.

He was quick to bring his hand up to my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. "I could have swore a moment ago that you were about to curse me for taking away your free will, but all of the sudden you are frightened of me once again?"

I didn't say a word, feeling as if I was falling into the depths of his dark chocolate-brown eyes. "You really are two separate beings, aren't you," he whispered against my cheek, sending darts of fire racing through my blood. I nodded unable to do anything else, my mouth suddenly dry. "You need not fear me. I could never find it within myself to harm you and if someone else were to try, I dare say that they would pay dearly for even thinking that I would allow such a thing."

"Christian. You cant possibly protect me from everything." I said, solemnly, knowing that there were some things that just couldn't be done. My father had loved my mother to the point of obsession, as was the Carpathian way, but even he hadn't been able to save her. I had been his first priority and because of that, he allowed my mother to perish. I felt Christian's mind surveying my own and I quickly changed the path of my thoughts, steering away from my past. It hadn't mattered, Christian had been within my mind before I had noticed him and he had seen it all. He took me within his arms and I could only lean against his unshakable strength.

"Your mother's death is neither your fault nor your father's. Do not blame yourself or even them for the tragedies of your childhood. It was a group of humans led by a vicious vampire who killed them and they all received their justice by the hands of our most legendary males, Gabriel and Lucian. You must have known they all paid for their debauchery."

"No, I hadn't known." I said softly, feeling the sorrow I had so long eluded finally catch up to me. It was easy enough to not feel anything after they died, allowing the wolf to fully take over. To her, death was a way of life. But now that the Carpathian was dominant, I was grieving for the loss to my family and our people. I felt hot tears run down my cheek as I remembered my parents faces when they said goodbye to me.

Christian took my hand and laced my fingers through his, leading me towards the bed nearby. I followed obediently, remembering that I was in no state to challenge, nor should I want to. He was in charge now, the alpha male within the she-wolf's pack and both of us had to remember that at all times. He sat me down on the edge of the bed and then did so himself, sitting so that his large body was supporting my own. He raised his hands to my face, using his thumb to wipe away my tears.

"Please, Nathalie. I cannot bare to see you cry." He caught a single tear and brought it to his lips, before leaning towards me to lock his mouth onto my own. I felt my sorrow melt away as my entire being responded to the feel of his mouth possessively claiming mine. He was deliberately attempting to console me in the only way he knew how, with his love for me. I could see it clearly now with our minds merged fully. There was no mistaking the blatant, passionate love he felt for me. We hadn't known each other long, but in that time I had obviously done something to unknowingly steal his heart.

His mind was a whirlwind of emotions. He was proud of me and how I had endured, my beauty took his very breath away from his lungs, and he was determined to give me the love I hadn't received when I was young and orphaned. His mind, body and soul responded completely to mine in a way that was breathtaking. I hesitantly brought my arms up to wrap them around his neck and his fists immediately tangled in my hair, urging me to not be timid. I could feel the intensity of his emotions beating at the walls of my mind and I allowed them in, wanting to feel what he felt, to see what he saw.

"Nathalie…" My name was a moan from deep within him as he broke away from my mouth, placing kisses along my shoulders and neck. His arms wrapped around my waist and brought my body fully against his, lying us both back on the bed gently. I could feel every inch of his very masculine body against me and I suddenly felt power in the fact that I was a woman and here before me was a man who wanted me in every way possible.

"What is it Christian?" I asked, feeling suddenly bold now that I knew he loved me for me, and not simply because I was his lifemate and he had no other choice. "What is it you want?" I purposely intoned my voice, wanting him to desire me.

"Nathalie, do not," he pleaded, "I will not be able to resist you this night. I almost lost you twice since I discovered you existed. You cannot hope to remain somewhat independent if I claim you fully. And you are innocently trying my self-restraint with that voice of yours!"

"Are you so certain I am innocent?" I asked, placing my hand under his chin so that he had no choice but to look at me. His eyes made contact with mine and he groaned with need.

"Nathalie…you cannot know what you are doing!"

"I _am _Carpathian," I pointed out trailing my hand from his chin down to his chest and rock hard stomach, "and therefore, I know exactly what I am doing, regardless of the fact that I have been separated from my kind for far too long." I still used my low octave, marveling in the power I had over one single man.

"My need for you is far too intense. I cannot be content only kissing you anymore. The beast within me is roaring for me to take you right here and now, but I know that cannot possibly be what you want. You have just received your freedom and I do not want to take it from you immediately."

"What are you afraid I will lose, Christian? Being bound to you cannot be so bad…" I teased.

"You wont be able to be apart from me for very long without being very uncomfortable…and you would not be able to feed on your own…I know as it is already, my jealousy wont allow it. As it stands I cannot bare to think about you calling another man to you with that sexy voice of yours… like a siren's voice." he thought aloud. "And then the thought of you taking his life essence into your own body makes me want to rip out the throat of every man you have ever known. It is far too intimate an act for me to imagine you sharing with anyone other than me…"

"Lucky for you, I haven't had men in my life. Unless you dare to attempt to rip out the throats of the few young wolfs who attempted to mate with me." I laughed aloud, thinking that he wouldn't find fault with that.

"What?" The tone of his voice changed from being needy to being stern in the blink of an eye. To anyone else he might have seemed calm and collected, but I could feel the smoldering rage within his mind.

"Christian?"

"Wolves sought you?" The strength with which he held me beneath him intensified.

"Well, I was…**am**…in part, a wolf." I said, forgetting that I was trying to seduce him.

"Did you…?"

"Christian!" I snapped indignantly. "You have no right to ask me that!"

"Did you?" His voice was calm but demanding.

I looked into his eyes, allowing my own disdain to burn into him for a moment before I felt my heart soften. He was only jealous and I could not blame him for that. Carpathian men were known for it. "No," I finally said softly, raising my hand to tenderly caress his strong, tensed jaw, "No one has ever touched me in that way…They were only wolves, animals seeking a mate…not unlike our own race. And although I must admit the wolf within me wanted it, I did not…"

"I am sorry for pressing you…" He suddenly said, and I knew the green-eyed beast within him was through worrying about his mate seeking other company within her bed.

"I desire no one, but you." I ventured, feeling slightly awkward now that he wasn't acting on his passion and his fervor was not matching mine. I suddenly felt like I was making a fool of myself. His dark brown eyes gave away no emotion, and I inched back away from his body, wanting to curl up and hide.  
His hand caught my wrist and firmly pulled me back up to him. I held my breath, my heart beating frantically. "Do not shy away from me no matter what ridiculous thoughts go through that crazy little head of yours. I love you."

"How can you know?" As soon as I said the words I regretted them. I quickly shut my eyes and waited for his anger to rage at me. I was surprised when nothing happened.

I suddenly felt his hand on my neck, massaging gently. I gasped when he moved lower, his hands teasing the swells of my breasts. "I know…" was his simple reply.

"Christian," I breathed, the air rushing out of my lungs sharply as he traced the line between my breasts down to my stomach. Suddenly, a clenching fear took hold of me and my body stiffened beneath his roaming hands. _What if I disappoint him? What if he leaves me? I would be alone in the world. What would the wolf do without a pack? What would the woman do alone? I do not want to go back to a world of loneliness!_

_**Hush, **mon amour**! Do not think such things. You are my lifemate and I could never disappointed by you.**_ His voice was so soothing within my head that I nearly wept at the beauty of it. He removed his hand from my stomach and brought it leisurely up to frame my face. Forcing my eyes to meet his.

"Nathalie. You cannot know what it means for me to find you. I thought I would have to meet the dawn to save the world as well as my honor, but then, within the dark dreary world I heard your call. I never heard such a beautiful sound as your voice brushing gently within my mind. I never want to be separated from you or your beauty ever again." I tried to look away from his dark sensuous gaze but his eyes held mine, refusing to grant me mercy.

"I just…I have been a wolf nearly all my life, Christian…I don't know what our relationship would mean for that side of me. I don't have confidence in myself as a woman…and I know you desperately need me to."

"Well, we'll just have to work on that now, wont we?" He said, trailing his hands down my face to hold his palm over my throat so that my pulse beat frantically into his hand. "You truly are frightened of me, aren't you?" He murmured before lowering his mouth to place slow drugging kisses along my neck and shoulders.

I swallowed hard, attempting to overcome my fear. "I don't know, Christian. Some part of me knows you would never hurt me, but… I look at you and I see the carefully leashed power and something within me tells me to submit to you. I suppose it is the wolf, submitting to the pack leader, but still…I am sorry, I do not mean to make things harder for you."

"Never apologize to me. There is no need. I want you as you are, not any other way." He allowed his hands to trace the curves of my body and I shuddered both with apprehension and excitement. "Besides," He whispered against my skin, "I think I may like helping you regain your self-confidence. It may be fun for the both of us."

I suppressed the urge to laugh at his audacity. **_You're the audacious one, laughing at me. I will show you not to laugh at my expense. _**He locked his mouth onto my own, boldly taking possession. Any second thoughts I had about him fled from my mind as my entire world fell away and the earth churned beneath my feet. Every thought within my head became those only of him and what he could do to my body. He broke away almost reluctantly before trailing his mouth along my skin, searing the flesh down to the very bone. He was nearing my hips, nipping playfully when I felt something change inside of me. Whereas a moment ago I had only felt passion, another emotion was steadily working it's way up into my mind. I felt the unwavering presence of the wolf and I cursed her timing.

A moment earlier I had completely forgotten every apprehension I had about making love to him, but now with the wolf planting herself firmly within the forefront of my mind, I knew her plan even before she knew it. Christian was a little too occupied to notice the change within my mind, only when my body tensed as his hands slid over every inch of my skin did he look up and touch my mind with his. A moment later the wolf had taken me fully and I was once again lost within the body of my furry companion, momentarily stunned by the painless grace with which I changed.

Christian had no time to act and it would have made little difference regardless. I was now a full wolf standing over him, my jaws only inches from his throat, hackles raised. I tried to subdue the wolf within but she was angry, attempting to chastise Christian for thinking he could have his way with me so quickly after our meeting. The wolf would not hear of such a thing. I watched in horror as I saw Christian's surprise turn to anger as he placed his hands on the wolf's chest and flipped her off of him. I was startled when I felt my back hit the ground with a thud, forgetting for a minute that I was, in fact, the wolf he saw before him.

The wolf within told me to scramble to my feet and attack him again, but I raged war with my bolder temperamental half, making it clear that I would never heed her word and leave him. As I challenged her with the thought, I startled myself to find it true. I didn't want to leave him, not now, not ever! She was as bewildered as I at that revelation and so she simply stood there, eyeing Christian from across the room.

I watched as he glared at me for a moment before turning his back to me and bracing himself against the stone wall. I looked at the tensed muscles stretched across his back with admiration, cursing the wolf and my own insecurities for not allowing me to explore the wonders of his masculine body further. As Christian righted himself, standing at his full height, I felt both the wolf and the woman recoil at the sure power demonstrated by his movements. He turned to face me, his eyes a dark mask, revealing nothing of what he was feeling. The heat that had been in them when he had been caressing me was long gone, leaving me desolate, quivering with fear in his wake. Even the wolf was put off by the predator that was before her, blatantly challenging her. She took a step back towards, her tail tucked neatly between her legs.

"I wish I could tell who I was looking at, the woman or the wolf. I would never wish to frighten you, my Nathalie, _mon amour_, but the wolf I **do **wish to challenge, but I cannot do so if it is you I am facing."

I turned my head, the wolf within me chanting within my mind, begging me to find a way out for the both of us. My eyes darted around the room, before subconsciously locking back onto Christian's. His gaze never left my face, and I suddenly wanted to be held within his arms, protected by someone other than my alter ego, as I had never been before in my solitary life. But it even more than that, it was an elemental need. Just anyone protecting me wouldn't do, I wanted Christian.

He stepped towards me with the grace of a predatory jungle cat, his gaze fixed upon me. His prey. I took a step back and my hip came into contact with the hard edge of the bed frame. The wolf growled, but upon meeting Christian's dark calculating eyes, whimpered for mercy. He stopped in his tracks, clearly debating a thought that had popped into his mind.

I watched in awe as fur began to extend over his arm and the rest of his body, as it shaped itself into a magnificent male wolf. I felt a stirring deep within my soul, as if the wolf, though she was completely against the man, recognized the wolf as belonging with her. I felt the brush of butterfly wings within my mind, and for the first time since I had gained my other half, we agreed, allowing Christian's beautiful voice to echo within my mind.

**_Perhaps a challenge is not what will win over your stubborn half…_**

**** I smiled to myself, adoring the mysterious way Christian uttered the words. **_What do you mean?_** I asked, not sure whether I actually wanted to know what he was thinking.

_**Follow me, **mon amour_ He whispered before disappearing through the tunnel that would lead us to the ground level of the home, and out into the night.


	11. Taming the Beast

_**Taming the Beast**_

My body was tense with wanting her. Everything within my soul cried out for me to join us, mind to mind, body to body, blood to blood. Unfortunately, the wolf that controlled half of who she was had other ideas. She made it clear that she would not allow me the luxury of completing the Carpathian mating ritual.

The moment she had reared her head, making it blatantly obvious that she would not allow me to make love to my lifemate, the beast within me had retaliated, wanting nothing more than to force the wolf into submission. I flipped the fiercely powerful animal's body off of me, cringing as I heard the thud of her hitting the floor. I knew my lifemate was within the wolf and it was the worst feeling in the world to know I had just harmed her.

The anger I felt towards the wolf had grown to a deafening roar in my ears, my mind and the demands my body was making on me were simultaneously urging me to force the wolf's compliance, but when I met her eyes all I saw was the woman I loved and her fear reflecting back at me. I couldn't stand to look at her, those innocent blue eyes looking back at me through the body of the willful wolf. I turned my back to her and took a few moments to simply breath, forcing the air through my lungs in an attempt to calm the raging beast demanding release.

Then, as I was walking towards her, an idea came to me. _What if I don't intimidate her beast, but tame it instead?_ Without a second thought I shifted into my own wolf form. My body contorted beautifully, muscle and sinew stretching and reshaping itself over my newly changed skeleton. I felt the fur ripple to life over me, the sensation unlike any other in the world.

I stood before her for a moment, holding my breath to see what the she-wolf's reaction would be. Her ears perked up and she immediately stood at her full height, shaking herself off as if she hadn't just been cowering in the corner. I reached my mind out to Nathalie and was overjoyed when there was no barrier blocking me out. I found her skeptical, but the wolf was not, and that was all the encouragement I needed. I wasted no time, leading her out of the sleeping chamber up into the house and out into the night. The minute I stepped out into the night air, I felt completely at peace. The night was my world, it belonged to Carpathians as we belonged to the night.

I looked over my shoulder at the smaller wolf beside me. She also seemed more at ease within the new surroundings. The moonlight shone on her body and I allowed myself to be lost within the mind of the wolf I was for a moment, simply admiring her body in its animal form. It took a great amount of effort for me to pull my gaze away from her and I did so reluctantly before taking off at a slow easy run.

I looked back and found that she hadn't moved and so I eased to a stop, turning as I did so. **_Christian?_** Her voice was hesitant in my mind and I could feel the fear she was trying so valiantly to hide from me. My heart turned over as I realized how brave she had been, trusting me so quickly even though she had already endured far too much suffering within my presence.

_**It's alright, **ma cherie**, no harm will befall you this night.**_ She visibly relaxed as I said this and my human half ached for her all over again with renewed fervor.**_ Run with me._** I whispered it as a caress in her mind. I watched her body tremble in response before she began to follow me, loping to my side with the beauty and grace of a Carpathian woman, though she was simply a wolf. Once she was beside me, I nudged her muzzle with mine, making a deep loving noise within my throat as I did so. I didn't wait for her response, not knowing whether it would be from the woman I loved or the wolf who had consumed her. I took off at a run once more.

This time she followed, keeping up with my long strides much easier than I had expected her to. I took that as a challenge and she seemed to understand, both of us picking up speed until we were at a full out run. I kept my eyes fixed on her, marveling at how the muscles stretched over her glorious body as she kept pace with me. Her eyes met mine for a few minutes before she put on an extra burst of speed and left me in the dust. I was stunned, until I realized that she had been a wolf all her life and running in that form was as natural to her as moving the earth was to me.

I watched in admiration as she kept pace easily ahead of me, occasionally turning her head to make sure I was just out of her reach. I felt a primal urge surge through my body, begging me to make contact with her, but try as I might I couldn't even catch her enough to touch her tail with my nose. She let out a bark-like sound that resembled that of a laugh before she took off again, this time running at her full out speed. Astonishing. It was the only word I could think of to explain how fast she could run. The thought that it was partially preternatural speed popped into my mind, but I just as quickly dismissed it. No, she was a born hunter, made to chase down even the fastest prey. She was a miracle of nature. My miracle.

As the fog my astonishment created wore thin from within my mind, I realized that she was quickly escaping my sight, and a pounding fear took hold of my heart. **_Nathalie! Return to me now!_** I couldn't hide the fear behind my sharp command, however, I didn't see it necessary. She would know what was going through my mind if she only looked.

I received no mental reply, though I could feel her presence within my mind. I held my breath, hating that she had such iron control over whether I could see into her mind. I knew that mine would be forever open to her, as easy for her to read as if she were simply opening a book. It saddened me to think that we might never possibly share an equal mind merge. My spiraling thoughts were quickly uplifted when I saw her come trotting towards me, her head held high. **_I was not going to leave you behind. If I remember correctly, the last time I did that neither of us had a very good time of it, did we?_**

****I sighed. **_No, we didn't. You nearly cost me my sanity. I thought I had lost you._**

She laughed, the sound flickering around in my mind like a thousand fireflies. **_Fear not, my brave hunter. You cannot get rid of me so easily._**

**_Is that a promise?_** I didn't wait for her to reach me entirely, closing the distance between us with a few calculated leaps. I rubbed my body up against hers, reveling in the sensation of her fur brushing against the my sensitive face and muzzle. I buried my nose within the fur at her neck, loving that I could touch her and know that she was mine. I circled her slowly, being sure to keep our bodies tightly pressed against each other, so that she would feel my every movement.

_**Nathalie, **mon amour**, you are so very beautiful. Just looking at you makes my heart turn over, my blood boil and my body burn with need.**_

**_I thought we tried this, 'seduction' thing earlier. Remember how that one turned out?_** She laughed somewhat hesitantly, though her wolf body was melting to fit mine. Her human half was mentally stronger than the wolf's at the moment which caused for an interesting mix of power between the two species in her single body. The human realized I was attempting to seduce her, but the wolf half was reveling in each touch.

_**Indeed we did, but now I intend to work with your wolf counterpart…she desires and needs as much attention as you do, **ma cherie_

**_Oh really? Is that so? _**She asked as I realized she had purposely tuned her mind into that of the wolf's, and was now flirting shamelessly. She began circling me, moving her body so that I was helpless but to watch the graceful curving of muscles. My eyes met hers and I nearly collapsed, the intensity of her gaze almost too much to handle. I wanted her, wanted her so very badly.

**_You cannot entice me this way…I want to seduce your wolf counterpart, but I do not wish our first joining to be in wolf form…_**

**_Why should that matter? _**She asked as she continued to prance around me, nudging me gently with her muzzle, seemingly uncaring as to how I answered.

I leaned into her ministrations, wishing that we were in our human forms and I could feel her mouth on my body as apposed to fur against fur, though that was pleasurable in its own way. My entire body was on fire, but I dug my claws into the dirt, forcing my paws to remain where they were. Suddenly I felt her within my mind, feeding me erotic images that were far too enticing. Suddenly I heard the sound of a pack of wolves approaching rapidly.

**_My dear, we are no longer alone. I suggest we leave. _**

She paused for a moment, her entire body going rigid. Alert. She was completely in tune with her surroundings; a huntress at work. **_They are upon us._** And at that point they were.

The pack burst into the clearing, surrounding us with fluid grace of deadly predators. I lunged in front of Nathalie, placing my body before hers, willing to protect her with my life. I hastily sent the wolves images that conveyed friendship and peace, all the while cursing my lack of self control. I had completely forgotten about scanning the area as I was distracted by Nathalie's attention, and I vowed after we made it through this ordeal, I would never forget to put her first ever again.

For some reason the wolves did not react to my plea for peace, simply snarling deep within their throats as a response, warning me to leave. One wolf, presumably the alpha male, lunged at me before I could prepare myself and he clasped onto my throat tightly. I heard Nathalie cry out within my mind, as I gasped for breath, blindly snapping at my attacker, attempting to clamp my own teeth onto anything that might make him release me. It was nearly impossible to resist the roaring of the beast, who urged me to use my extensive strength and powers. However, I knew it would do me no good to allow Nathalie's wolf side to see me engage in a battle with the wolf, defeating him using, what she would consider, unfair means. Before I could save myself, I felt the wolf being rammed off of me as Nathalie leapt over my fallen body, lowering her head and exposing her fangs to the wolves.

**_Nathalie, what are you doing? _**I snapped at her. **_Get back behind me!_** I got to my feet and as soon as I had regained my composure, I met her eyes. They were cold and fierce, so unlike the compassionate creature I knew her to be.

**_Quit playing the dominating male! This is my pack and they only seek to protect me from you. I must make it clear that I have chosen you as my mate. So remain impassive for my sake will you! They know me to be the dominant pack leader and so you best make it clear that you follow me as well, or they shall chase you away regardless of my wishes!_**

****The thought of her as 'dominant' made me smile to myself, quieting the raging monster for a second. With me, she seemed to be a different person, though I had to admit that I was beginning to see her bold side occasionally when she forgot the extent of the power I kept on a short leash. _**I do not care for this at all, **mon amour**. I am the man, I am supposed to be protecting you…**_

**_You don't like this? Really? I hadn't noticed._** She mocked, clearly hoping to distract me from the problem at hand. **_In any case, these wolves recognize a female as their leader and so, you are simply going to have to allow me to handle this._**

I watched as she walked boldly towards them. Not one inch of her body was timid, walking with an air of total confidence. It was interesting to see such a boldness in her, when with me she was all fear and nerves. Her muscles stretched gracefully with every move she made, and all eyes followed her. I took a moment to scan the minds of the surrounding wolves, looking for any hint of malice. Within many of the male wolves was the urge to claim her as a mate and I felt the beast within my rise up, baring its fangs. It pulled against the strict bonds I had on it, wanting supremacy. Needing it; demanding that I make Nathalie mine and mine alone. All movement ceased and all eyes were upon me as I struggled with the darkest half of my soul. All of the creatures could feel the power and fury radiating from me, and I saw many males take a few steps back, clearly retreating from my anger which was directed at them.

**_Please, Christian, don't do this…_**

_**I am not in control here**, mon amour**, I would gladly stop the beast if I could. But I cannot. Only you can. You are my only anchor.**_

**_Oh beautiful!_** I heard her soft sigh as it echoed through her mind and escaping through the wolf's body. I watched in awe, as she slowly stalked all of them, making soft throaty noises as she did so, using both body language and actual speech to tell the pack that she had chosen me as her mate. Many of the wolves moved to protest, but I took a firm step forward, baring my fangs, wanting all of them to know that she was mine. The beast within echoed the actions of the animal without and all other creatures retreated, submitting to my power.

There was a few more tense moments as time seemed to halt, before one female wolf took a step to the forefront, clearly staking her claim as successor. She let out a long, mournful howl; a salute to their previous leader. And then they were gone, disappearing into the dark night, almost as efficiently as Carpathians. I turned to look at Nathalie who simply watched them leave, her eyes riveted to the last place we had seen a tail. When she felt my gaze upon her, her eyes snapped to meet mine.

**_What do you want now, Christian?_** She said it softly, the fatigue she felt in evidence.

**_You banished yourself. Had you ever thought of leaving me and returning to them, it is now impossible…_** The thought of her even considering a life with someone other than me made my blood boil, but I quickly extinguished the rage.

**_I know._**

**_Why?_** In truth, she barely knew me, and yet she had just eliminated all other options for her future besides that of life with me.

**_I suppose it is because I am in love with you Christian. Ever since you saved me the first time, I have been._** My heart leapt within my chest and I pranced over to her, licking her muzzle with tenderness. Her eyelids drifted down as I allowed my love for her to swarm her mind. A moment later she was fully alert. **_Christian! You are hurt!_**

I had long since forgot about the wound on my throat. I took a moment to become light and energy, seeking to heal myself from inside out. The worry in her mind quieted as she watched the blood stop gushing out of the healing wound. _**It is nothing, **ma cherie**, the wolf was simply protecting you as any male of a species should.**_

**_Just wonderful, Christian! _Now _you are sensible! _**Though she clearly thought to reprimand me, her laughter bounced around the walls of my mind. I continued to shower her with my affection, wanting her to know the love I felt for her was genuine and would never fade. I watched in awe as her body form began to mold itself into that of a woman's and I quickly followed suit, not knowing what she was doing, but knowing that whatever she was, or wanted to be, would be what I was as well.

I had been in my human form for less than a second before her body was flush up against mine, her mouth a scant inch from mine. I felt my body tremble at the close proximity of hers. Her hands rose slowly, my muscles clenching at the leisurely way she moved. Her right hand spanned my throat, tracing the fading line that indicated where my throat had been torn by the wolf. Her other hand rested on my chest.

"Nathalie…" I meant to say her name strongly, hoping to break her enthrallment, not wanting to let the domineering sexual need overtake me when she was not ready, but it came out as a needy moan. _What had happened to my self-control? My strong will? _With her so near, all I could think about was her. My love for her, and my desire to demonstrate that love with my body.

**_What is to stop you? I certainly have no intention of doing so…_** Her voice within my head sent another streak of heat searing through my blood stream, making every inch of me hard with need. Her connection with my mind was a double edged blade. On one hand it pleased me immensely to know she was not frightened of my thoughts, but on the other hand, it was not a full mind merge. Her mind still skillfully blocked me out.

"But Nathalie, your wolf…"

"-accepts that my life is with you. You have shown her that you can be considerate of her needs as well, and she thanks you for it by allowing me my freedom of choice in all matters. This included."

I shivered as her hand moved from my neck down to my chest, joining the other in moving lower. I brought my hands up to hers, pinning them in place at the waistline of my jeans. "Nathalie…you were frightened of me. You may be still. But I cannot know if you do not allow me into your mind. I will not allow you to seduce me until you feel comfortable enough to open your mind to me. I would not know if I was hurting you…" I confessed feeling slightly ashamed, knowing that I could not control the beast's sexual hunger for long.

"Open my mind to you?" She questioned softly. "You cannot always read my thoughts?" She sounded baffled. "And all this time, I thought you were simply demonstrating your power over me…which was why at times I seem frightened of you. Christian. Believe me when I say I had no idea I was still not allowing you in."

I breathed a sigh of relief, wondering at the ease with which she protected herself. I felt my grip on her loosen, my hands easing off of hers on their own accord.

"I love you Christian. You are my lifemate and I feel for you as a lifemate should. Together, you and I will control your darker side, allowing you a lifetime of peace without fear of turning vampire." She said the words softly, her breath against my mouth, a sweet sensation. I felt her hands begin to move again, pulling at the shirt tucked into my pants. My breath caught in my throat. Every nerve within my body told me to take control, but the whole situation seemed like something out of an erotic dream. I remained stoically still, not wanting to wake and find that she was still deathly afraid of me and my strength.

The silk of my shirt whispered against my skin as she slowly pulled it over my head, choosing to take her time with seducing me. Allowing her to have the lead was taking its toll on my self-control and so I plunged my mind into hers, seeking out a sign within her thoughts, anything that would confirm that this was real. I felt a leap of joy within my chest as I saw nothing but love; no fear, no mistrust. Nothing but love. Deep within her mind was the fear that she could not please me, that she would know what to do to give me pleasure. My heart flipped as her compassion washed over me. She imagined that she was not good enough for me and that in itself was a sweet thought, no matter how wrong she was. I would show her how wrong she was.

I quickly reversed our positions and walked towards her, backing her up against a tall tree. As her back hit the rough bark, her eyes widened with surprise a moment before a dark flame smoldered behind her eyes, taking its place. I bent my head to her neck, caressing her pulse, knowing that life beat within her and for the moment, her sole purpose of life was to be mine. I suddenly felt the beast bellow from where it was tightly chained and hunger followed soon on its heels. I noticed then that I had lost a great amount of blood from the wound, because I had been too pre-occupied with Nathalie, as I was now. I watched as her eyes met mine, the look within them telling me that she knew my inner struggle.

She craned her neck slightly sideways and whispered to me, "take what I offer freely." With that mantra in my head, the dark side of my soul could not claim me, nor her life as I fed from her. I appreciated her gift more than she realized. Tears welled up in my eyes as my fangs lengthened and I bent my head to her throat.

She tasted like nothing I had ever experienced before. Sweet honey and spice trickled down my throat as she writhed against me, her body taking on a life of its own as the pleasure my taking of her blood produced took over. I closed the pinpricks with a sweep of my tongue, lingering there longer than was necessary. I saw only her complete devotion, plainly displayed for my pleasure where I could admire it best, in her hot green-blue gaze. I could resist her no longer and I took her mouth with mine in a searing kiss. Her mouth was like heaven, her tongue like velvet as mine tangoed suggestively with hers. I broke away reluctantly, only to trail my mouth down along her neck, pulling at the neckline of her shirt to allow myself access to more of her luxurious, silky skin. She took a harsh breath, that turned into a gasp when I trailed my hands along the curve of her body, willing her clothes off of her in the way of my people.

She stood in front of me, her body completely bare and my eyes devoured the sight of her slowly, taking my time appreciating every feminine inch of her, even as my body demanded I wait no longer. She closed her eyes, and I saw the doubt floating within her mind. Crazy worries plagued her thoughts: _What if I'm not beautiful enough? There must be a million women out there better looking than I am! _She didn't bother to look into my mind and see I loved her as she was; see that she would be the only woman I would ever have eyes for.

Her insecurities were beginning to become bothersome. I knew there was a smoldering seductress, a siren, aflame just below the surface, waiting for the right man to bring it out in her. I was her lifemate. It was my job to bring out that side of her and I'd be damned if I wasn't determined to do it. I placed my hands gently on her hips, not wanting to startle her out of her thoughts, though it was tempting to do so and prove her fears were useless. Her eyes snapped open and met mine, hesitation a sudden haze in their beauty.

"Mon amour, Nathalie…You must know by now that you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I know you have been a wolf nearly all you life and you only remember you body as it once was, but let me assure you that you are now everything a man could want in a woman and so much more, though should another man even think about touching you, he will die…" I added, feeling smug at the thought of her belonging only to me. "Your worries are pointless…you are gorgeous and I intend on showing you how you make me feel." I raised my hands to grasp hers, pulling them down to the closure of my jeans where a bulge already proved my point.

She gasped and her face turned crimson as I held her hands to me. I stared into her eyes and watched as they darkened. I was suddenly aware of the cool breeze washing over my body and my breath caught as I realized she had willed my clothes off of me as well. I stood still, stunned by the sudden boldness in my timid lifemate. I was beginning to think that I was in for many surprises!


	12. Passions Released

_**Passions Released**_

He stood before me like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes were wide with shock as his body thrummed with energy. Energy that I had created. I knew I was purposely taunting him. Every action I took was made with the intention of seducing him further, though it was quite obvious that seducing was no longer necessary. Every inch of him was tense with wanting me and it only increased my boldness. I willed his clothes off of him with my mind, remembering how to do so instinctively. As I realized that we were both naked, a cloud of doubt drifted into my mind. _What if I wasn't what he wanted? What if I couldn't be what he needed? _ But when I looked into his eyes, my doubt was washed away by the intensity of his black gaze. It smoldered and burned through my skin, making me feel like he was looking straight into my soul.

I felt slightly apprehensive about making the first move, but knew that I had to do it to make him believe everything that was happening was real. My hands had been hanging loosely at my sides when I had willed his clothes off, but as he stood before me bare, I couldn't resist touching the defined muscles along his chest and so I raised my hands there once more. My fingers were light and hesitant and his body trembled under the strain of remaining submissive to my touch. When I merged my mind with his I saw what a struggle it was for him to not become dominant. Seeing his inner struggle gave me chills, realizing how much power I truly had over him.

I slowly inched my hands lower and his breath sawed in and out in harsh gasps. I myself, took a deep breath before I traced his hips and his erection, which grew harder and thicker when my hands neared it. I closed my hand over him, feeling like a wicked woman as he desperately began to writhe against my hand. He groaned with need as I began to caress his chest with my mouth as my hands worked diligently.

"Nathalie…" My name was a moan escaping from his throat.

"What is it Christian?" I toned my voice an octave lower, matching it to the emotions that were coursing through me. "What has you so distraught?" I laughed to myself, his body tensing even more as my breath beat against his skin.

"Nathalie, what on earth do you think you are doing?" He said it as his hips bucked against my hand, his head thrown back and eyes closed.

"I **_was _**seducing you, though, from the way you feel right now, I do not think it takes very long to make you want me…" I said, smiling to myself once more as I realized that there was no reason for doubt at this point. He wanted me, that was one thing I could know for certain.

"You have no idea." His reply was terse but full of amusement. I laughed softly at him, which turned out to be a mistake. He ripped my hands away from him, and pinned them to the tree trunk behind my back. My heart picked up its pace a few beats as his gaze devoured me like a starving man.

"You are damned right I am a starving man, and right now, you are my feast. As it is, as much as I was adoring your attentions, I cannot allow you to give me all the pleasure. I am, after all, your lifemate."

He pressed his body against mine, allowing me to feel the tree fully against my back and his body stretched out against mine in the front. I was aware of every inch of him and his body was so hot it was burning a whole through my flesh.

He immediately crushed his mouth to mine, attempting to devour me in one moment, his hands beginning a slow, steady massage of my body. His mouth soon left my mouth, the action somewhat reluctant until he began caressing my neck and pulse. "Christian, I am not going to disappear….you don't have to rush." I said, my laugh turning into a gasp as his mouth began moving over my breasts.

"I would hate to take the chance…" He whispered against my skin. I suddenly felt his palm pressed tightly against my very core and I gasped, not expecting him to thrust his fingers deep within me. He took my mouth again with his swallowing my gasp as if it had never been. He took advantage of me, his tongue probing and caressing the inside of my mouth, matching the rhythm of his fingers perfectly as they moved within my body. I gave myself up to the pure sensation of his mouth and hand working simultaneously to bring me into a world that was pure feeling, nothing but pleasure and love. My body took on a life of its own as I began to move against him, throwing my mind into his, wanting to know his thoughts and emotions as he shook the very foundations of my world.

I had first thought he was rushing but as I looked into his mind, I realized it was only my heart that was frantic. He was, in fact taking his time with me, fully intending to make me feel the amount of sexual frustration I had caused him when he remained submissive to my touch. His thoughts were purely of me, and I felt smug knowing that he very much wanted to crawl up inside of my body and stay there for all eternity.

As I eased my mind out of his I felt bereft, noticing that as phenomenal as the sensations he was creating were, I still wanted more and only his body within mine could bring me the sort of fulfillment I needed. I suddenly felt Christian's presence within my mind and I knew he was well aware of what I needed from him. For one glorious moment, I thought he was finally going to take me as he withdrew his fingers but a second later I screamed as his tongue replaced his fingers, thrusting and probing deep within me until my mind shattered and my body fragmented. Colors swirled around me, lifting me up and taking me soaring above the heavens, to a place where only two people existed, Christian and I.

I could feel my nails digging into his shoulders, the sensation of his body under my hands the only thing keeping me anchored to the earth. As I began to regain control of my mind and body, I grasped his hair within my fingers and hauled him up to me, forcing his clear, burning eyes to meet my hazy ones.

**_I love you Nathalie. You may doubt many things foolishly, but in this matter you must never doubt my love._** His voice was like velvet as it engulfed me with warmth and love.

"Christian," I whispered desperately, not wanting to be completely mindless, though it was clear that that was where I was headed.

"Yes, say my name, Nathalie. Know it is me who loves you and no other…I am the only one for you, as you are the only one for me!" One hand traced my bare thigh and I felt a surge of burning passion begin. He pressed himself intimately against me once more and I was instantly aware of how thick and hard he felt pressed against me. I swallowed any remaining fear as his mouth met mine and he pulled my legs up to wrap around his waist. I willingly gave up all control to him, and not a moment too soon.

A second later he thrust deep into me, stealing the breath right from my already starving lungs. For a moment I thought I saw lightning crackle in the sky over his shoulder but as I glanced again I realized the night sky, though sparkling with a thousand flaming stars, was calm and serene and only our bodies were electrified.

My hips met his every thrust and I couldn't help but lose all sense of time and space as he drove me to an even greater threshold. I held on to him for my life, my fingernails scraping across the spans of his broad back. He groaned in response, his pleasure heightened by the mere feel of me clinging to him desperately.

"Nathalie…" He said my name as if in a dream. "Please…taste me…take my blood into your body…I need you to…I need it so badly, _mon amour_!" He continued to drive himself into me, his slow drugging pace quickening to a frenzy, and then slowing once more.

I wanted to scream, whether out of pleasure or fear, I am still uncertain. "Christian. You know I cannot do such a thing," I breathed, attempting to keep a level head as he was assaulting my mind from every direction. "I haven't for years and I do not intend to begin feeding off others now!" I could barely get the words out. I began to wonder if my words were true as I noticed that his throaty voice begging for me made my incisors lengthen.

"Nathalie! Please!" He groaned, unable to say more. **_It is not the atrocious act you think it to be…_**

**_I don't know Christian. I don't know if I can._**

He continued to make love to me, but leaned down closer to my body, rubbing his hands along my hips and sides while he leaned his head against mine. His lips skimmed my ear as he spoke. "Do you need persuasion?"

I let out a pent up breath. **_I cannot imagine you being able to persuade me for too much longer…_** I joked back, desperately trying to ignore the way my body began to twist onto itself in a kind of pleasurable agony, wanting release and knowing he could and would withhold it. As the tension grew within my body, I began to lose control of myself, raising up just enough so that my mouth could reach his chest. I swirled my tongue over where I could feel his heart beating in his chest, trying not to think about what it was I was setting out to do.

Before I could talk myself out of it I gave up every part of me to Christian and sunk my fangs deep into his skin. A harsh hiss escaped his lips as he surged into me harder and faster, throwing all tenderness to the wind. My mind merged with his as I fed off of him. The taste of him was like nothing I could have ever imagined. The essence of his life coursed through my body, combining every inch of us together all the while I felt him within my mind, sharing everything that was him with me, so that there could never be a moment when I did not know what he was thinking or feeling. I clung on to that, not wanting my mind to return to the present only to realize that I was feeding like a barbaric vampire off of a man that I thought I loved.

**_Some Carpathian you are!_** He laughed into my mind. _**This is what we are meant to do, **mon amour**…do not fight it. This is how we are meant to be! You, me, the two of us coming together, our bodies, out minds, our hearts and our souls, all one. Your blood is to be of my blood as mine is of yours…take me into you, do not think of it as a vampiric action…it is a Carpathian ritual and there is beauty behind it, only beauty. Much like you.**_

**_Oh can it! You can stop with the courtly gentleman persona now, you have already seduced me and you have what you want, so there is no need._**

"How can you say I have what I want? Yes, I have your body at the moment, but I want so much more from you. I know you haven't been one of us long enough to know, but Carpathians are incapable of having meaningless sex, especially if it is with our life mate." He groaned aloud as he continued to drive into me, "I could never be apart from you. Do you believe me?" I closed the wound with my tongue and he growled aloud, driving me to the edge of madness. Suddenly, a change overcame him. He began ramming himself into me, losing all sense of control or compassion. I began to feel a mix of pain in with the pleasure he was giving me. I whimpered softly, and the only response I heard was the roaring of the beast within him. The growing vampire fought the chains that held it captive deep within Christian's heart. I gasped from this discovery and even though the gasp was no different from those I had let out earlier, his eyes met mine in alarm. He crashed into my mind and upon seeing that I had glimpsed his darker half, he gentled his actions, tears gathering in his eyes as he met my gaze, clearly waiting for me to condemn him to the hell of a life alone.

Without my companionship, he would become untamable, the wild beast rising up and taking his soul, fully turning him vampire. As I looked into the depths of his soul, I saw within him the urge to maintain his honor and meet the dawn. My stomach lurched at the thought of his body burning up into ashes but regardless of that longing within him, I also knew that it was hopeless for him to desire his honor, for if I forsook him now as he so clearly thought I would, he could never meet the dawn knowing that I was still living.

And his death would certainly mean my own. I knew it in my soul as if it had always been there. I had only known him for a few days, but as it was, I felt connected to him in everyway. If he were to die, I would not want to live in a world where his hot and hungry gaze would not look upon me again. I thought this over as he continued to thrust into me, but as he increased the friction, I had no choice but to let go and leave that revelation for later. As I finally met his gaze, I could see the defeat and sorrow in his endless black eyes and my fear dissipated instantly, leaving only compassion.

**_Never fear, my dark knight! I shall not condemn you for something you cannot control, just please, I beg you…do not allow it to take you. I need you with me…and I need to know I am safe with you. I have lived my entire life in fear and I do not wish to continue that way._**

****His eyes changed intensity, from extreme sorrow to absolute elation, and he drove into me with new found tenderness. Finally, he took me over the precipice, colors exploding as our bodies soared, through the timeless skies until only both he and I existed. A moment later we were still clinging to each other, our bodies damp, my hair clinging to my shoulders as he nuzzled my neck with his face, his body still buried deep within mine.

"Christian," I said softly, wanting to hear his name said aloud; something tangible within the reality of the present.

"I am here, Nathalie. Always here."

"I know…I just…I never thought it could be like that…"

He laughed aloud, "Which part?" Clear male amusement echoed in his voice.

"All of it," I smiled up at him.

"So what if I told you I wanted you again?" He asked, pressing soft intimate kisses along my jaw line, moving himself just slightly so that I could feel him moving within me.

"I think I would have to tell you that you are crazy!" I laughed. "I cannot imagine even moving right now…I am so very tired." I purposefully forgot to point out the bruises that were now upon me, marking the places where he had held me still for his assault; not to even mention the soreness in muscles I hadn't known I had.

"You don't have to move." He cooed against my breast, taking it into his mouth. I melted into him easily, as if my body was its own living being, taking over my mind with one instant of decision. I tried to push him away but all my strength could not even threaten his balance. He stood as a brick wall, pinning me to the tree without even noticing that I had attempted to get his attention. His eyes were closed as he continued to caress my body.

"Hey! You! I'm talking to you!" I demanded, wanting to stop him before he had me too far gone.

**_Well, stop your talking! It will do you no good here!_** He raised his hand to my jaw and tipped it up just as he brought his mouth up to capture my lips with his. His kiss stole every last thought from my mind as his tongue traced the seam of my mouth. After a moment I was forced to take a breath but as I opened my mouth, his tongue surged in, increasing the intimacy even more.

I grew frustrated at my inability to control him. But then, I came up with a wicked idea, knowing full well that there was one sure way to make him pay attention. I eased my hands away from his face and quickly took hold of his hips, grinding my own over him determinedly until he growled aloud, eyes meeting mine with a blazing intensity.

"So now I have your attention…" I smiled, feigning innocence.

"In more ways than you know," he replied hoarsely as he grabbed hold of my waist. I winced as he encountered one of his previous bruises and his eyes immediately darted to inspect my body. "I have hurt you." He said, the sorrow in his voice beginning to take over all other emotions.

"Do not do that. Your chin stiffens when you are worried. Let me kiss away your worry." I raised myself up to kiss along his jaw line, lingering at the corner of his mouth for an extra moment. He turned so that his mouth was fully on my own, gentle yet devouring. _**I am so sorry for harming you, **mon petit Coeur**. You cannot know how horrible it is to know that I had inadvertently caused you discomfort.**_

**_There was plenty of _**comfort **_to make up for that _**discomfort**_, my love. You have done nothing wrong._**

**_Perhaps not, but I can remedy the situation regardless._** He took a few steps back effectively disconnecting our two bodies. Both of our faces fell for a moment, the two of us feeling the separation down to our very souls. He smiled in an attempt to overcome the momentary ache that swept through us, demanding that we unite once more.

With a single kiss, he scooped me up into his arms as if I weighed no more than a small child and took to the air. It felt so good to be in his arms and I relaxed against him, burying my face against his strong chest. I began to wonder what change had come over me that I know trusted this man entirely, and desired to pleasure him more than I desired anything for myself.

I ignored my doubts and allowed my body to mold into his, hugging him close. He turned his head against my neck muttering incoherent words against my skin, placing kisses behind my ear and against my hair.

**_I am sorry for hurting you. I deserve hell for what I almost did to you… _**He said as we flew over the vast woods below.

_**No you do not! You did nothing wrong, as I said earlier.**_

_**If I had kept going the way I was Nathalie, I would have ended up raping you…It was only your gasp and the thoughts in your head that brought me back to reality.**_

_**I cannot believe you would have gone through with the act, but I would refuse to blame you even if it were true. It's a part of our species. I just didn't know the demon was so strong within you.**_

_**Nor did I. I wonder why it has not been fully subdued. I am with you, I should not be able to give in to the beast.**_

**_Do not worry about this now…_** I attempted to console him, but to no avail.

**_I do not want to have to worry about my inner beast every time I am turned on by you… and it would be a lie to say I am not thinking about making love to you even as we speak._**

_**Always the gallant gentleman aren't you?**_

****"Very funny," he said as he set me down on the front porch of his cottage.

I looked around me curiously, not having inspected the actual house before. "Is this your real home?" I gestured towards the log home.

"No, it is another Carpathian's but since we all move around a lot, this was not in use. When I had originally found you and needed a place to take care of you, I sent out a call for help and one Carpathian male and his lifemate offered me this small cabin. It's not as extravagant as we usually go for, but it is useful for not drawing unwanted attention to ourselves."

"Oh. Are you sure they do not mind?"

"I'm positive."

"Shouldn't we ask?" I didn't want others of my kind to automatically think I was greedily taking advantage of them.

"As I told you, it would be more disruptive to ask. Carpathian pairs have things they do in their alone time, not so unlike us, and disrupting is rude, unless necessary." **_I'll take advantage of someone, and I'll give you a hint, it's not them. _**

_**I'd say you shouldn't be in my thoughts, but I am sort of amused by you knowing how sexy I think you are.**_

**_I'm sexy am I? Must I show you what I think about you…?_** He began to back me up against the door to the cabin. I thought about stopping him, but his mouth on mine was a force to be reckoned with and so I simply allowed him to kiss me passionately. _Besides, at least he wasn't worrying a bout his demons_. I felt the door against my back and I closed my eyes, savoring the way he made me feel, like I was the only woman in the world. He took hold of my hip with his right hand while the other reached around and began grasping for the door handle. He grew impatient when his hand could not find the handle and the door finally swung open as he mentally turned the knob, not for a moment lessening the pressure of his lips on mine. His hand then took up residence upon my lower back as we glided into the house, his grace making up for our eagerness that should have resulted in clumsy movements.

We were in the bed chamber within a few moments, neither of us being able to recall how exactly we had gotten there. Christian switched our positions, allowing me to take the lead and I took it in strides, one hand going to his chest to press him backwards while the other tangled in his long damp hair. I broke off our kiss, glancing down for a moment before tracing the lines and contours of the lower half of his body. He was hard already and it was completely evident that as I took hold of him, I was in full control.

If I had demanded anything of him at that moment, I had no doubt that he would do it. I had to smile at how quickly it took for him to want me so badly that I was in complete command of him. I had always thought that Carpathian men had power over their lifemates, but I was now beginning to understand that there was a mutual amount of control. The men lived to please the women and so their wants would always be first, and if that didn't suffice in an argument we could always turn them on, until they had to obey.

**_Such naughty thoughts within my innocent angel! What makes you think you are in control?_** It was obvious that he had meant to sound arrogant, but the only emotion that was expressed by his betraying voice was his longing for me to end the blissful torture of my hands.

_**I don't know, perhaps it's the fact that when I look into your mind, I see your desire to please me. And I demand that you allow me to give you pleasure for once!**_

_**If you only gave me pleasure once, than there would be no feasible reason for me to believe that you are my lifemate. **_

**_You know very well what I meant you little fake! That arrogance of yours is a growing problem. If you do not learn to control it, you shall regret it!_**

**_Will I now? And how is that?_**

****I smiled sweetly at him as I let go of him and jumped away simultaneously, evading his outstretched arms as he tried to recapture me. "Ah ah ah! I told you I could punish you, and punish you I will!"

"As I asked before, how's that?"

"You're experiencing it, my beloved." I cooed, as I paced around him. He tried to catch me each time I passed, positioning himself directly in front of me. But I was in his thoughts and I saw his movements before he made them. I purposely brushed up against him and moved so that he could best imagine what he was missing by not touching me or having me touch him.

I saw him grow harder while watching me. He groaned softly, verging on a whine. "Nathalie…What…-"

"Christian, if you are so in control of me, make me come to you," I challenged.

He glared at me for a few moments and I stopped to take a few shallow breaths, attempting to pull in more air, realizing that his gaze was robbing me of that comfort. My body desired his, that was no surprise, but I ignored the urges, wanting to see him as weak in the knees for me as I was for him.

"You must already know that I am…" He said, his voice hoarse and needy.

"You must not have lied when you said that you hadn't had much experience with women. Allow me to educate you, my love. Women are self-conscious creatures. You may say romantic and seductive things to us day and night, but we still need proof. Tangible proof. Some solid and unyielding way for us to believe full heartedly that you are ours and ours alone."

"Nathalie, please. Allow me to touch you! I need to touch you. If only just to hold you in my arms. I have lived many a century without feeling anything. Now that I do, I do not want to let go of you for a moment, in fear that I may never feel again if you are not next to me."

I sighed, knowing that he was ensnaring the worst emotion he could, my love. I walked towards him slowly, raising my eyes leisurely to meet his as I reached for his hands with my own.

He groaned softly as I placed his palms upon my face and framed his face with my hands simultaneously. "Nathalie…please…"

"I belong to you Christian. I can tease you all I like, but when it comes down to it, I know I am your lifemate in everyway. There is no other explanation for it. I love you."

"And I you Nathalie." He reached forward and moved his mouth over my own. His tongue darted into my mouth with a rhythm that stole my very heart. He was unusually tender and affectionate; no trace of the beast reaching the surface.

He pushed me back so that I had no choice but to recline on his bed. I did so silently, finding no protest within me. Once there, he broke off the kiss and began to move his mouth over my hips, shoulders and anywhere else he had bruised me. He swirled his tongue diligently over each and every mark, intending to erase all possible discomfort from my body.

I took a swift breath. "Daylight will be upon us shortly."

"I do not care. I could do this to you for all eternity, to hell with the sun!"

"Christian?"

"Hmm?" He looked up to meet my eyes.

"Do you really still think you are dangerous to everyone? Including me?"

"Never to you _mon amour_," He smiled solemnly, "but truly, I do not know and it scares me more than anything. The thought that I might have it within me to change and then harm you is both barbaric and horrifying."

"We'll work through it together, my love. I will always be by your side. Do not fear yourself anymore, because I do not fear you anymore." I consoled as he kissed me again.


	13. Fighting the Urge to Run

_**Fighting the Urge to Run**_

I awoke the next evening with his arms around me like iron bars and his head against my shoulder. I was bare from head to toe and immediately I felt self-conscious, not wanting him to wake and upon seeing me, regret the past night. I tried to rise, but found that his arms were far too strong. As I struggled to escape his grasp, he tightened his hold on me, murmuring something softly as he awoke as well. I blushed deeply when his eyes opened and immediately took in my entire body.

"Good morning." I said softly. Timidly.

"What a good morning it is, indeed." He replied, looking over me once more.

I pulled the blankets that were beside us over my body, effectively hiding myself from his gaze. He looked slightly annoyed for a moment before his demeanor softened. "And where is my brazen woman from last night?"

"Christian…I do not know what happened last night, but-"

"If you think to apologize, save your breath. I do not want to hear it! What we did is not wrong and I wont hear you speak of it as if it is something to regret. I regret nothing about last night, except for, perhaps the loose control I had over my demons. You are a goddess in every way, _mon petit Coeur_, and I do not wish for you to become a shy and tentative woman again, now that I know what you can be."

_**Christian, please. I feel uncomfortable speaking this way.**_

_**I forbid you from feeling that way. If I didn't make it clear before, you are my lifemate and that is the Carpathian equivalent of marriage…mating for life. I love you more than you could ever imagine and so there is no problem in what we shared together.**_

_**So you believe Christian, but I do not know it to be true! I haven't the confidence you have.**_

****"So I've noticed," he mumbled as he lifted me up out of the bed, setting me on my feet. The outrage I felt at being jolted around like a doll died in my throat as I looked into his smoldering eyes.

"What? Not going to reprimand me?" He said, catching the look of contempt in my gaze.

"What would be the use?" I asked softly as I watched him stand up beside me.

He placed his fingers beneath my chin and lifted my eyes to his. "Because I care about you. I want to know everything about you. I wouldn't want you to try and be someone you're not around me, simply because you are frightened."

"Christian. I have been frightened all my life, since the day my parents died. I have trusted no one and relied on no one. Why should now be any different?" I said, my voice reflecting the despair I felt.

He leaned in so that his lips were inches from my own. "Because now you have me. I will not allow you to feel alone or threatened ever again. Ever!"

I felt my body begin to melt into his and tried to fight the urge. I was quick to realize that there was no hope of that happening and so I gave in and relaxed against him. He grabbed hold of my shoulders and wrapped his arms tightly around me, holding my head against his shoulder. I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head a few times before he allowed me to step back. I did so promptly, noticing how reluctant my body was to perform the action.

"So what happens now?" I asked softly.

"What do you mean?" The depths of his eyes became turbulent.

"Yes, what could she possibly mean?" A voice sounded a few feet to our right. Christian growled deeply as he leapt in front of me, placing his body in front of mine like a shield. **_My _**first thought was to protect Christian, but I did nothing. The she-wolf snarled at me, her way of calling me a coward for not protecting my pack member and mate. Every cell in my body wanted to listen to her, but my human logic realized what a pointless act it would be to try to protect Christian. He wouldn't allow it; it wasn't in his nature. I looked around him skeptically and relaxed as I recognized the man before us.

The fact that it was only Gregori was comforting but not overly so. The sudden appearance of Gregori was like a rock being thrown through a glass window. I had felt relaxed with Christian; perhaps too comfortable. I had let my guard down and hadn't even sensed another around. The wolf within my mind poked her snout out from the darkness once more, baring her teeth at both me and the intruder. I got the unspoken message. _Don't become careless. _A moment later I felt her attempting to force the change upon me. _No, not here! Not now!_ I slowly brought my eyes up to Christian's broad back. Upon seeing his tensed body and Gregori's nonchalant reaction to Christian meant that this would not be easy and I would be needed.

"Evening Christian," Gregori drawled.

"What do you want?" His voice was harsh, far too harsh to actually be coming from Christian. I knew he respected Gregori far too much to speak to him that way. It was his darker half speaking now.

"I assume by your behavior and your lack of attention to her that you have yet to claim her…"

I blushed, but Christian didn't miss a step. "On the contrary, I have done just that."

"I cannot believe that." Gregori laughed. As soon as he noticed the serious stare Christian was giving him he stopped. "Fine, prove it. Tell me what she is thinking."

"Wait a second…I don't think-" I tried to intervene, knowing that my mind wasn't open all the time.

"Silence!" Gregori demanded.

"Do not speak to her that way!" Christian snarled.

Gregori glared back at Christian for a moment before looking at me. "I apologize Nathalie…I am only concerned that your lifemate has not harnessed his beast yet and is attempting to deceive me into giving him more time…which given the strength of his demon, is not something we can afford."

I remained silent for a second longer before I nodded. I was about to say something but a soft rumbling growl escaped Christian and I thought it would be better to hold my tongue.

"Christian, you must know that if you had truly bound her to you, you wouldn't feel so much mistrust towards me."

"I am not stupid, Gregori!" He snapped harshly. "But contrary to what you believe, I did indeed claim her. I said the words long before now and have since then exchanged blood and made love to her."

"Christian!" I scolded, turning bright red. Both men looked at me as if the wall had suddenly spoken. Apparently, though I was the center of their attention, they clearly hadn't planned on consulting me.

Christian wrapped his arm around my waist and held me under the protection of his shoulder. "I am sorry, _ma cherie_." He looked back at Gregory.

"Christian, a moment earlier she was battling the wolf urging her to turn. I apologize but if she is still experiencing such problems and you are oblivious to them I must wonder about the truth behind your bond. I am concerned for the both of you."

I took a single step forward and swallowed my pride. "He speaks the truth Gregori. He has bound me to him. I may not have been with Carpathian's for long, but I do have enough Carpathian instincts to know when I am a lifemate and my man has bound me to him."

"Than what has gone wrong?" Gregori looked at Christian condemningly.

"To hell if I know!" Christian bellowed at Gregori.

I jumped at Christian's harsh tone, having little experience with hearing it. He grabbed hold of me again and pulled me beside him. His hand was a little too forceful on my hip and I bit back a noise as I felt the beginnings of a bruise.

"You are hurting her." Gregori's voice was as calm as ever.

"Do not speak for her! I am her lifemate! I know what is best for her!"

The strength in his hand intensified with each flare of his temper and I knew if he didn't realize it soon, he may in fact dislocate my hip. At that point I wanted nothing more than to tell him Gregori was right, but I knew it would not help situations. I looked up at him, hiding the pain from my eyes and saw him look down at me, the depths of his gaze becoming turbulent with love for me and blind anger towards Gregori.

That look in his eyes reminded me of the last time his demon had come to surface. I remembered the torment within that gaze after he had realized what happened and I felt the answering pang deep within my own heart. I held my tongue, resigning myself to the fact that I would rather forgo physical pain than see that devastating look in Christian's eyes again.

"Christian. Release her for a moment so we can determine what is causing this phenomenon."

Christian did nothing.

"Fine then. Tell me you don't need help. If you can look at Nathalie and then look at me and honestly tell me, eye to eye, that something is not wrong here, I will leave you in peace."

Christian did as Gregori bid. I tried to hide my fear and pain deep within, but I couldn't and the realization within Christian was just as earth-shattering as I thought it would be. Christian slowly let go of me, and I eased away from him, backing up ever so slightly, so that I could be certain he wouldn't grab that tender area again.

"Very well Gregori. I am listening." His voice was still harsh even though it had calmed immensely.

"Alright, so perhaps if you could detail the ritual, I might have a better understanding of what may have gone wrong." A deep growl reverberated throughout the room. Both men looked at me and in that instant I realized the sound had come from me.

I looked at the ground, ashamed. "I am sorry. I think that perhaps it would be best if I were not here for this discussion. I know you want my opinion at convenient intervals, Gregori, but I believe this is one discussion both the wolf and I would prefer to pretend had not occurred."

They met each other's gaze for a moment before Christian turned back to me. "Alright Nathalie. You do not need to be here for this." He placed light a kiss on my lips before breaking away and watching me walk into the bedroom.

Once inside our bedroom, it was even harder to pretend that I wasn't still in the room. My exceptional hearing had never felt like a curse before, but now as I heard both men speaking about an intimate act such as the joining of lifemates with such nonchalant-ness, I felt annoyed at best.

I tried my best to tune it out but their conversation held my attention, making me feel like a moth flitting towards a blazing flame.

Christian snarled at Gregori. "She was magnificent, Gregori! Don't you dare presume to tell me that something is wrong with her. The problem lies within me! Never her!"

"But she is almost completely half wolf…wild wolf. What if her soul is half wolf too. The woman is supposed to be light, to counterbalance the male's darkness. I am just saying that it is possible her wolf half makes her incapable of doing that."

Horror struck me cold alone within that bedroom. Everything suddenly made sense. I was the problem, not Christian. I hadn't done anything in my life to deserve someone like Christian and this proved it. Suddenly, I felt like I had to leave. I quickly got up from the bed and looked frantically around the room, feeling very much like a cages she-wolf. I paid close attempting to keeping my thoughts generally away from the subject at hand, knowing that one of the men could pick up on flaring emotions if I didn't keep them in check.

The window was wide open. I didn't even spare a glance over my shoulder as I climbed out of it and took off at a full out run. I raced through the woods, using both my Carpathian and wolf assets to vault fallen logs and avoid other obstacles. After running until I could hardly breathe, I realized how impractical my flight was. I stopped a moment to catch my breath and the she-wolf walked out of the darkness. She shook off, her fur ruffling to make he larger and more impressive. I got the point. Turn.

I thought about defying the she-wolf's idea, but ended up seeing her logic was superior to my own this time. I gave up my body and will to her, and she did the work, taking her dominant position in my mind. My body contorted, and I swallowed the pain as my spine cracked and other bones lengthened. A few moments later had me lying on the forest floor, panting frantically to overcome the pain.

Just then, a large gray wolf prowled out of the woods. I panicked slightly, knowing that at the moment, I was in no physical condition to fight another wolf, at least not before I had a few extra moments to breathe. He lowered his head and issued a low sound. It took a moment for the sound's meaning to register in my head . _Want to be friends?_ I raised my nose and scented the air. Lone male wolf, no pack. Part of me wanted to decline, but the wolf knew she could not return to her pack and so she chose to approach this stranger.

He walked forwards slowly, ears erect and tongue lolling, clearly trying to be as non-threatening as possible. I appreciated the sentiment, realizing that at the moment I was caught somewhere between being wolf and human, and I didn't quite know how to do behave in either world. He came up beside me so that we were parallel, and I quickly lowered my head, and made the sound he had in return as I got to my feet. He nudged my side softly and I was suddenly reminded of Christian when he was a wolf. I shook my head, wanting to forget Christian and concentrate on this wolf.

It proved useless and every time the new wolf made an affectionate gesture, my mind tuned into Christian's. He knew I was gone, that much I could tell. I could read his mind as clearly as if it were my own, though I knew he could not see into mine. I couldn't be positive, but if he was in my mind, he would have known where I was and what I was doing before I even followed through with the actions of it.

The male wolf began to trot off, and looked back to find me not following him. He circled around and stood behind me. A second later he was upon me, clearly thinking I had wanted to mate with him, not only befriend him. I shoved him off and issued a low warning growl. He stared at me for a moment before he came trotting back over. I kept my face towards him, turning as he tried to circle me. I growled again, lowering my head even more. He took a leap towards me and as I prepared for his attack.

Just then there was a flash of fur moving swiftly in front of me. I heard more than saw the wolf begin to panic, back legs flailing in an attempt to propel himself away from Christian's awaiting jaws. Too late. Christian's jaws wrapped around the wolf's neck scruff and shook him hard. The young wolf yelped and I quickly shoved my weight into Christian, effectively knocking the wolf from his grasp. The young wolf bolted and Christian turned on me, wrapping his jaws snugly around my neck and pinning my head to the ground.

**_My God Nathalie! What were you thinking? He could have harmed you, maybe even killed you! Why on earth did you run off with him? He could have been a Carpathian! He could have been a vampire! God damn it, Nathalie! Do you understand me? Do not disobey me again!_**

I wiggled my legs up underneath my body and thrust upward with a snarl of fury, all of my building anger serving as fuel. My strength was no match for Christian's, but I did manage to shove him off balance slightly, giving myself a small amount of space to get away.

I leapt to my feet, thought about bolting, and then turned to face Christian, lowering my head and glaring at him, growling more maliciously than I had with the other male wolf. He continued to watch me for a moment and I watched his own rage disappear, only to be replaced by hurt. _Damn him! _I could deal with the anger, but his pain was a much more formidable foe.

**_Nathalie._** His voice was infinitely calmer. **_What is the matter?_**

**_Nothing, just…nothing._** I straightened up, and began to walk away. He trotted up beside me and turned so that his large furry body blocked my path.

**_Nathalie? Come on now. Do not block yourself off from me. I am here for you. We are one now and I will not allow you to torture yourself so. Whatever is bothering you, I can assure you that it can be fixed._**

**_And what if it cannot be, Christian? Than what?_**

_**What are you talking about?**_

_**I heard what Gregori said to you, about me being the reason for you not being able to leash your demons. I know you will deny it no matter what, but I see the truth in what he says. If it is my fault, I do not want to be the one to mislead you; to make you think that if we stay together long enough, things may change…may get better, when it is truly my deficiency!**_

He looked at me sadly for a moment before his form shimmered and he became a man once more. He looked at me expectantly and I thought about taking off, but thought better of it and pushed the wolf from my mind as well, forcing the woman to take shape. The change back into human form hurt as much as it did to become a wolf, but I was beginning to notice the amount of pain and length of time it took has lessened. A few minutes later I was curled up in a ball on the forest floor, whimpering and gasping. I felt Christian's hands pick me up and take me into his arms. I breathed in his scent for a few moments as I regained my senses.

As everything began to come into focus, I looked up into Christians face and watched as his mouth came down to mine. He kissed me leisurely for a few moments before he allowed me to step back.

"Nathalie. I love you! I have never loved anyone before in my life, but you I love…I will do anything you wish of me, if only you would let me."

I took in a deep breath, trying to steady my body so that I didn't need to cling to Christian, but I was no where near being able to overcome the weakness two changes within an hour had caused.

He sighed "It's alright. There's no need to worry, _mon amour, _but please, let me take you home. We can talk about this and if you still wish to leave, I promise I will allow you to go."

"Don't make promises you cant keep Christian." I said between deep breaths, my eyelids fluttering. "You wouldn't let me leave. You couldn't."

"I mean every word I say Nathalie. I love you and would do anything to make you happy, and if you thought you could be happy elsewhere, I would have no choice but to let you go. I might not be Carpathian for long after you leave, but I will do it, if only to give you the kind of life you want."

"I wouldn't let you do that, Christian!"

"Then you cannot leave me Nathalie because that is what would happen if you leave …You must know you cant just leave."

"Alright. Take me home Christian." I sighed, closing my eyes and hugging his strong frame tightly. I loved the feel of his body against mine, reveling in the power carefully restrained when he held me. I knew that he would always protect me, even if it was from myself.

He hooked his arm underneath the backs of my knees and scooped my up within his arms as if I weighed no less than a small child. I clung to his neck preparing for him to fly us back to the house. When he began walking back the way I had came, I was surprised, but didn't voice the thought, instead closing my eyes and burying my face in his neck.

"Nathalie." He whispered into the darkness as he turned his head towards mine and closed his eyes as well. "Please, don't leave me. I don't want you to leave me. I need you. Do you have any idea how much I need you?" I couldn't avoid his gaze and as we both looked into each other's eyes, something inside of me lurched.

"Christian, I would never want to hurt you. I love you too."

"Than promise me you wont leave me."

"But Christian, what if I am the problem here, and I cannot keep you from turning vampire. I will be putting so many people in danger…including yourself. I refuse to be responsible for your misery."

He set me down gently, holding onto my waist to hold me up. "But you could never be responsible for my misery when you are responsible for all the joy I have in my life." He raised my chin with his first two fingers and kissed me deeply.

"How touching."

Christian broke off with a growl, keeping his forehead pressed against mine. "Gregori, can we ever have a moment alone?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Not until you go to meet with Mikhail. He has waited on you long enough and our prince should not have to wait!"

Christian growled and hugged me close to him, this time consciously careful of his strength. "I have _just _retrieved her, after **you **scared her off."

"Yes, I am well aware of my folly, and I apologize, to you both."

I clung onto Christian tighter, wanting to pretend that Gregori's apology could eliminate my hidden fear of not being able to be Christian's true lifemate.

_**I hear you, **mon amour**! Please do not think those thoughts! I do not want to have to prove to you that you are perfect for me…or at least, not right here with Gregori watching.**_

****I blushed but said nothing.

"I am afraid I must insist Christian. Mikhail needs to know of al Carpathian pairs and if you are indeed one, you must meet with him to confirm it."

"Fine, we will leave first thing next rising. You may tell Mikhail we are on our way." Christian told Gregori. He nodded and disappeared into vapor.

"I hope you don't mind a side trip." Christian looked at me sadly.

"I don't mind. I haven't seen our homeland in many, many centuries." I murmured, snuggling into his neck.

He scooped me up again and I fell asleep in his arms as he took me back to our little cabin.


	14. A Woman's Insight

_**A Woman's Insight**_

I scanned the forest below as we came upon it and sensed more Carpathian men than I cared to count. A part of me wanted to turn around and leave, go anywhere where I knew that I would be alone with Nathalie. _Nathalie. _Her name alone made my body shudder with emotion. She was clinging to me, as I carried her through the air towards the Carpathian mountains and it took a great deal of discipline to concentrate on the journey itself and not on how close her wondrous body was to mine.

As our feet touched the ground, I extended my scan further, looking more specifically for the unanchored males, though I knew the unfortunate truth was that within minutes they would be upon us anyway. Just as I thought that, male Carpathians began to walk out of the surrounding woods. A few I recognized as close friends, but I was even skeptical of them, not trusting them in their unanchored state. Just then, a tall man with dark features came walking towards me.

Nathalie looked around and inched closer to my side, surely being able to sense the intense way the men were regarding her. I sent her soothing mental images as I reached out to grasp the forearms of the man in front of me.

"Mikhail, my prince. It is good to see you. I apologize for making you wait upon us-"

"Not at all, Christian. I understand completely. If Gregori made me seem impatient and angry, that was not the case. He tends to exaggerate my mood on occasion when he thinks it will best suite me."

"Indeed." I laughed, taking the moment to spare a glance for the men closing in. I felt my body tense as one particular man stepped toward Nathalie. I saw him lift his head to the air, probably hoping to catch her scent on the wind. Considering that Carpathian's tend to be more beast than man, this would usually not have struck me as offensive, but in this instance it was. I locked onto his eyes and let out a low rumble of a growl. Upon seeing my reaction to the man closest to her, Nathalie straightened up to her full height and stared the man down, which only added to his interest.

"All of you, stand down. As of this moment, this woman is off limits to all of you, and unless stated otherwise, she will remain so. If no such statement is made, she is the lifemate of Christian and anyone wishing to not abide by the rules will have to deal with my wrath as well as Christian's!"

The men began to take retreating steps backward, drawing the ends of their ranks near the edge of the woods. "My prince," I asked politely. "Is there need for so many personal guards?"

"I am told that there may be many vampire conspiracies occurring under our very noses and so I am told I need to take extra precautions. I find this to be far too many, but here they are regardless." He shrugged once before looking at Nathalie. For a flash of a second I felt rage well up as his eyes looked her over, but once logic kicked in with the necessary information: he has his lifemate, he is the prince of our species, etc. I needed no self-restraint.

"So, you must be Nathalie."

"Yes, Sir." she said softly, struggling to decide whether to pretend that she was a strong independent woman or a sophisticated lady belonging to a man.

"Nathalie," I said gently. "Allow me to introduce you to our Prince, Mikhail Dubrinsky."

She looked at him for a moment, lines of blatant confusion etched into her forehead. I eased into her mind and realized that she was struggling with how she was supposed to greet him. Her instincts told her that the way I greeted him was not meant for females, but she also seemed to know that a bow or curtsy was not necessary either and so she was lost.

I sidestepped, allowing Mikhail to approach her. He nodded his thanks to me, and placed his hand on her shoulder. Nathalie visibly jumped and her eyes flicked over to me. I nodded my reassurance and she smiled at me and then at Mikhail.

"A pleasure to meet you, my prince." She said with renewed confidence. "I apologize for my skepticism, but-"

"No need." he assured her with a shake of his head. "I understand that you have had a hard life thus far and are just now beginning to understand what being Carpathian truly means. I intend on having a moment to speak with you about what happened long ago, if you can oblige me with a moment of your time. I know the memories may be more than painful, but-"

"Yes, my prince. I will tell you the tale, if only to prevent another reoccurrence of it."

"My thanks." He bowed and motion towards the house. "Here comes my daughter Savannah, the lifemate of Gregori. She will take you to my home and find a comfortable place for you and Christian. If you do not mind, I would like to steal your lifemate for a moment or two."

She looked at me skeptically for a moment.

**_My dear, I promise I will be with you shortly, but I must stay here. It is my duty to my prince, to remain with him if he has something to discuss with me._**

_**Alright. I trust you Christian, but these other men I don't trust. And that is why I hope he allows you to come to me soon. I do not feel well around these men. They are so close to turning!**_

_**I know. Nothing will happen to you here. Mikhail has control and if he didn't, I would be watching over you anyway.**_

**_Ok. I'll be alright. See you soon then. _**She started to walk towards Savannah, but then turned to me for a minute. **_Christian?_**

_**Yes Nathalie?**_

_**I love you!**_

_**I love you too, **ma cherie_

"So," Mikhail began after she was out of earshot. "That is the woman I have heard about."

"Yes, Sir."

"You can quit with the formalities Christian. You have done more for me than I can repay you for. I trust you immensely and therefore, I am simply Mikhail to you."

I bowed my thanks. Long ago I had helped him with a group of humans who had attempted to prove to the government that vampires truly existed. They had captured one of our women and although they had killed her, I was sent to recover the body. I will never forget my first look at a pure born Carpathian woman, stretched out upon a stone slate, her head cocked at an odd angle, blood oozing from lacerations that were made with picks and scalpels, some of which were still imbedded in her flesh. It was the most horrifying experience I was ever forced to undergo. Mikhail was very appreciative and apparently still was.

"I would like to speak with you about your lifemate."

"Yes?" I tried not to sound annoyed. I wanted Nathalie to be left alone.

"Please, Christian. I know what you are feeling. You are irritated with having to go through this formality, but you must understand that I have to know everything about her. If she evaded our notice for so much time, how many other Carpathian women could have done so as well? You must understand the importance of this discovery!"

"She is not a discovery, Mikhail! She is a woman! A glorious woman who loves me! It is my job to see to her happiness and comfort, and here she is neither happy nor comfortable. She doesn't trust all these unanchored men and neither do I."

"And you consider yourself anchored?" He asked, his voice as pleasant as if he were speaking of the weather.

"Gregori told you of his suspicions?" _What a surprise! _

"You are not concerned?"

"**_Of course _**I am concerned! The possibility that I could harm her hits me so hard it leaves me breathless! But in my heart I know she is my lifemate and I am hers! If there is any way to fix this, I am all for it, but if it means causing her pain, I would rather fight the beast for eternity!"

"Alright. We shall see. I understand your feelings Christian, never mistake that. They are those of a lifemate reunited with his woman," he smiled at me a moment before he motioned for me to walk with him. His smile disappeared and he continued, "but this will not settle well with the other males. You are young Christian, far too young for them to accept that you have been given a lifemate when those have been suffering for much longer still have none."

"I do not care about them, Mikhail."

"Also not a sentiment you should voice." He commented conversationally as we continued to move towards Mikhail's home. "So, Nathalie? You found her in the woods?"

"Yes, she was bleeding to death in her wolf form. A farmer shot her when she got too close to his livestock."

"She says she has been a wolf for how long?"

"Since the Turkish raid, Sir. Her father forced the change upon her when the sun rose to the point of burning them. She wasn't able to change back."

"How young was she?"

"Seven years old."  
"Amazingly enough, I believe this," he chuckled to himself.

"She has no reason to lie."

"If you found her near death and she has acted as you have said thus far, there would be no reason would there?"

"No." I said, hoping to end the conversation there.

"So about your being anchored?"

"Oh please, Mikhail. I know something is wrong, but I also know that there is no reason for it to be so. I am dumbfounded and quite frankly I am beginning to wonder if we aren't better off not knowing."

"Gregori believes it is her."

"I respect Gregori immensely, but at the moment, I do not wish to have his opinion voiced within my presence."

"I wouldn't suspect you would. I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me, but right now, I believe someone is anxiously waiting for you." I looked around and Mikhail motioned towards the edge of the woods. There within the foliage I saw two green-blue eyes glistening within the dark. Mikhail looked intently into those two eyes for a moment and a second later, Natalie came prancing out, circling around the two of us wearily.

"She definitely does have wolf-like qualities." Mikhail commented, more to himself than to me.

I knelt down before her, forgetting everything around us. I stretched out my hand towards her and she stopped, staring at my hand as if she didn't even recognize it.

_**Nathalie… **_

****A low snarl escaped her throat and I quickly ripped my hand away, for a moment seeing her as the wild animal she appeared to be. Mikhail glanced at me and nodded before he knelt down in front if her as well. She began pacing back and forth, eyeing both Mikhail and I coolly.

"Nathalie…come now…I know you cannot be completely lost within the animal…" Mikhail was full of logic and reason, but even he could see that what he said was not necessarily a given.

I shook my head, attempting to clear it and find a mental path to her. Surprise of surprises, I could not find a single one. I then tried a different approach. I focused on my eyes and body, tuning them into what a wolf sees and feels.

When I opened my eyes Nathalie was still pacing back and forth, but I found my eyes glued to her body, each and every muscle and the way it twisted beneath her glorious fur, giving her body a sleek and toned look. My mind was split in two; half admired her for her natural, predatory beauty and the other admired the way I could still see the woman, only a layer beneath. I could imagine the long lines, the smooth, silky skin, as my hand traced its vast planes.

With great effort, I was able to tear my gaze away from her body, to lock onto her eyes. The intense green-blue eyes were the same no matter what form she took. Now her eyes were intent, focused on the hunt, but yet, within them were tints of the same shades of aqua and sapphire that appeared in her eyes when I was making love to her. I couldn't control my raging heart and body any longer. I let out a low guttural moan that made both Mikhail and Nathalie look at me with alarm. Mikhail promptly nodded his head in understanding, shimmered into mist and disappeared.

Nathalie spared his disintegrating form a passing glance but then looked back at me, something near respect resonating within their depths. I looked back into her eyes, longing and pure sexual frustration boring into her with every moment I continued to lock onto her eyes. She took a few steps back but didn't seem to change her mood.

**_Nathalie, please. Answer me! _**I growled into her head. No response. **_Damn it Nathalie! You know what you are doing to me…and my body! Why must you torment me so?_**

She shook her head and snorted, the wolf equivalent of a laugh. **_Because, you must learn that I am not at your beck and call…You cannot simply send me off and trust that I will obey you like a pampered house mutt! I am part wolf Christian, not dog…I do not obey! I intend to be a partner within this relationship, and I intend to be given as much respect as I deserve. The wolf will have no less._**

_**I have given you respect-**_

_**Perhaps as far as Carpathian men go, you have, but the wolf demands more.**_

_**What more?**_

****She laughed again, this time the sound danced around in my head like caged birds and I had to shake my head to clear them away. When I looked back at her, I saw her tail disappearing into the undergrowth.

I groaned again, feeling my whole body go rigid with the thought of turning when all I wanted was to bury myself within her. I bowed my head for a moment and took a few calculated breaths before I focused on changing into a wolf.

A moment later I felt the soft Carpathian earth beneath my paws. I had forgotten what it meant to be back home and now that I felt the soul rejuvenate me, I remembered. I was however, slightly ashamed that I didn't appreciate it until I was in an animal form; the man should have appreciated the purity of the soil long before now.

I looked up to see two eyes glaring at me through the trees.

**_What? Why are you glaring at me?_**

**_Nothing. It's just…no, nothing… _**She turned around and took off into the woods. I followed upon her heels, stretching my muscles and using them to their full potential to catch her. I reached her side quite quickly, but upon finding that she wasn't trying to escape me, I slowed, realizing that she was simply running.

**_Nathalie! What is wrong?_**

**_Go away Christian! _**She snapped. The tone of her voice was so much like the woman's that I had to wonder which half of her had said that.

**_Nathalie!_** I hurled myself in her way and she tumbled over me, the two of us falling to the ground in a heap. She untangled herself from me and growled as she got up, shaking herself off with as much pride as she could muster.

I remained laying on my stomach, watching her with anxious eyes. She looked up and quickly looked away, turning around and walking the way she had been going a moment before.

**_Nathalie, you know you can tell me anything._** I whispered into her mind just before she was out of my sight. She stopped where she stood and I saw her body shiver before she faced me.  
**_Christian. I am not meant for you. Please, understand that it is in your best interest to forget about me and just move on. I cannot be your lifemate. Hell, I cant even seem to be an entire woman. _**She bounded off without another word. Every inch of my body was telling me to follow her, but for some reason, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to invade her privacy. It is said that there are no secrets between lifemates, but in this relationship it seemed like that was all we had.

I turned around and walked slowly towards the manor, not looking forward to entering an empty room where Nathalie should have been. As I reached the room designated for Nathalie and I, I pushed the door open, hoping that she might be waiting for me, having worked out whatever was bothering her by herself. I found that luck was not on my side as the door revealed a dark and abandoned room.

I walked in slowly, lit a candle and hurled myself onto the bed with a heavy-hearted sigh. I laid there a few moments and closed my eyes, attempting to find the long lost path to Nathalie. When I found none, I felt a pang of loss deep within me. Tears began to well up within my eyes, but I brushed them away angrily. I turned over on the empty bed and felt even more alone than a had before. I couldn't help but damn whatever gods could hear me for my hardships. _Damn them! After losing my emotions they dare to dangle them before me so they can be my undoing!_

A moment later I heard a knock on the door. I sprung to my feet, throwing the door open, an eager smile plastered on my face. When the door opened to reveal Raven, Mikhail's lifemate, and her daughter Savannah, Gregori's lifemate, my smile fell from my face in an instant.

"We know we are not who you were hoping for, but we were wondering if we could talk to you." Savannah said softly.

"You shouldn't be here. The males would not like it if they knew…"

"My husband does know and that should be good enough…" Raven's calm authoritative voice struck me as odd, completely contrasting her delicate appearance. I stepped aside to allow them both entrance to the room. The women took up residence on the bed and so I sat on the overstuffed chair facing them.

"What may I help you with?" I asked politely, nodding my respects to Raven first and then Savannah.

"We know what is wrong with your lifemate." Raven began.

I stiffened slightly, but then just as quickly forced myself to relax. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we understand what she is going through better than you men can ever hope to comprehend." Savannah elaborated, running a hand through her long dark hair as she spoke.

Raven shook her head at her daughter's bluntness. "You see Christian, your Nathalie has been a wolf for longer than she has been a woman," she put a hand up to stop my comments, "which of course you already know. But what has escaped your attention, is that she feels she is responsible for the fact that you are not fully anchored, and no matter how many times you attempt to assure her otherwise, she will continue to believe it is her downfall until the day comes when the problem no longer exists."

"But why?" I couldn't believe that she would always blame herself first.

"Because, up until now she has led an entirely lonely life and now that she has someone who is completely devoted to her comfort and happiness, she could never find fault with you if she tried, so therefore, in her mind, she is to blame." Raven took her daughter's hand as she spoke and turned it over within her own hands, inspecting it as only a mother would.

Savannah recovered her own hand and placed it in her lap. "Christian. She is running from you. Not because she doesn't love you, or that she thinks there is something wrong with you, but because she thinks she is the problem…she believes she is keeping you from your happiness…"

"But why doesn't she talk to me? And why did she run off from me tonight?"

Raven and Savannah looked at each other. Raven was the first to speak. "She ran off?"

"Yes." I said, slightly annoyed.

"And you let her go?"

"Yes." I said, hearing the confusion within my own voice first. _Why had I just let her leave?_

"What happened before she got angry with you?" Savannah asked the question her mother was thinking.

"I don't know. She was acting oddly moody, but we were joking right up until the point when I turned into a …"

Both women seemed to be thinking it over. "Christian, from what I remember Mikhail saying Nathalie's changes are still severe and painful. Is that true?"

"Well, she has been getting increasingly better at it-"

"But does it hurt her?"

I cringed even thinking about it. "Yes. Yes it hurts her horribly…and it hurts me as well…" I shuddered remembering the first change she had experienced and the skull splitting pain that overtook her body.

Raven's head shot up quickly. "It is simple Christian. She saw you change and the fact that your transition was smooth and beautiful while hers is rugged and agonizing only proved her theory that she is the problem!"

"This doesn't make any sense! Neither of you do! Why on earth would Nathalie continue to believe this lie?"

"Because she is not dumb. She hears the doubt in all the male's voices when they speak of her…she hears the fear in your voice when you tell others about the possibility of you hurting her…and she hears the voice within her head telling her that because she is a woman, she is more flawed than the man. Women lack self-confidence to begin with Christian, and this whole situation is taking a toll on what little self-confidence she has!"

Suddenly it all made sense. These women had so simply solved the problem that I had been contemplating for days. "Thank you very much, Ladies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lifemate to find…" I stood and bowed to them, turning quickly towards the door.

"Christian," Raven called. I looked over my shoulder at her as I grabbed the door handle.

"You are a good man, and you two deserve each other…It is because of that I know everything will work out in time."

"Thank you!" I said sincerely as I turned into mist and left the manor.


	15. Excruciating Pain

_**Excruciating Pain**_

It took me much longer to find Nathalie when I was unable to connect with her mind, but every once and a while I caught an aching sensation within my body and if I allowed that to consume me for a moment, I could follow it back to her. I started on her trail, having to stop every ten minutes or so when the twinge of pain subsided and I lost her. Like clockwork, about ten minutes later I could feel the soreness spread throughout my body and I followed the core of the pain through my mind to, what must have been hers. Suddenly it made sense. She was in pain, and I was able to trace her because I could feel her pain as well. I picked up my pace, my heart within my throat and choking me with each step.

As I got closer to where I suspected her to be I felt the ache turn into throbbing pain, that just as quickly become searing agony. I felt my knees buckle beneath me and I knew immediately that something was horribly wrong. It was painful to do it, but I closed off my mind to her, needing to focus on finding her as quickly as possible, torture such as that would do me no good in finding her when I was so close.

The moment I closed my mind off from her, I heard her in a clearing a few yards away. I jogged the remaining distance and crouched, peering through the overgrowth. As I searched the area mentally, I began physically preparing my body to battle whatever was harming her. When I peered through the foliage, Nathalie was in her wolf form, snapping, snarling and spinning in circles. Seeing her acting so strangely set my teeth on edge, however when I looked around for the hidden danger, I saw none.

I extended my senses further, expecting to sense a vampire near, but my scanning was met with silence. I ran one hand through my hair, and looked back at Nathalie. I gasped when I took a closer look at her. Her fur was foamy and wet, and she continually growled and bared her fangs at some, unseen enemy. She was very much acting like a rabid dog cornered in a dark alleyway.

I didn't know what to do to help her. She seemed sick, but not in pain and that only added to my confusion. I was about to go to her when the wolf let out a howl of pain that echoed into the night along with the sound of cracking bone. I closed my eyes a moment to control the demon within me crying out for me to protect my lifemate. _Protect her from what? _I found myself asking the roaring monster. _I cannot harm her attacker when it is herself! _

I felt each torturous crack and shift of bone within my own body, and the combined pain had me doubled over on the ground. I closed her mind off once more, not even realizing that I had let my barriers down so quickly, and sat up slowly, shaking off the dull ache that washed over my body. I watched as the fur disappeared, being replaced with peachy human flesh as the rest of her features returned to normal.

I stood slowly and began walking towards her. She was naked upon the ground, her body drenched in sweat which caused dirt to cling to her in multiple places. She was gasping for breath, heart wrenching sobs escaping from her with every exhale. When I was standing directly above her, I knelt, being careful not to startle her too badly. She still hadn't acknowledged that she knew I was there, though I imagined she knew on some level.

"Nathalie?" I tried softly. She looked up at the sound of her name, her eyes full of torment. I took hold of her by the elbows and lifted her off of the ground and into my waiting arms. She didn't fight or cling to me, but simply let me hold her. Her heart was pounding with erratic beats that sounded as if they might break through her chest. I found that I needed to be in physical contact with her very much, especially now that I understood what it meant for her to be partially a wolf. Her changes were not beautiful like ours and she was upset by that. "Nathalie! _Mon amour_! What did you think you were doing?" I hissed, placing my chin on her head.

She groaned against my chest and all harshness vanished as I held her trembling body against mine. Her hands crept hesitantly up to encircle my waist. I hugged her closer to me, burying my face within the crook of her neck, murmuring softly to her in our native language.

"What was causing you to change like that?" I asked softly.

She looked up at me confusedly, "You don't understand, do you?" Her voice was so weak that I had to strain to hear it, even with my heightened Carpathian senses. I felt her knees give out from underneath her and I quickly scooped her up into my arms. I then felt her mind brush hesitantly against mine and the sensation was so foreign and pleasurable to me, I longed to have her fully within my mind, just so I could have a sense of what some Carpathians had.

I sent thoughts of encouragement to her, wanting to know what had happened to torture her so. In a rush I felt and saw all. Felt the frustration taking hold of her when she watched my transformation, watched her confusion as she shunned my comfort, and her pain as she forced herself to change back and forth again, thinking that maybe the pain of her change would knock some sense into her; make things clearer.

I shuddered, feeling the aftermaths of her pain course through my blood. "Nathalie, why must you continue to think that you are at fault for this? I tell you, you are not! Please, never hurt yourself like that again! I do not think I could take it!"

"Christian, I just can not…" She mumbled, her eyelids fluttering in an attempt to watch me, but her fatigue was setting in, deep within her body.

"Shhh, _mon amour_. Just rest, sleep deep and we will discuss all this later." I pushed the command a little deeper and watched as her breathing slowed to a stop and her heart beat its last.

Once I was sure she was fully asleep, I held her to my chest and took to the air, winging us swiftly to Mikhail's home. He met me at the door, glanced down at Nathalie asleep in my arms and then searched my eyes.  
"What has happened? I felt your pain and hers through you. Are you in need of my assistance?"

"She was off on her own, forcing her change upon her, torturing her own body." I felt my voice shake slightly at the last few words.

"And you didn't feel it before?"

"Her mind is cut off from me, nearly constantly. She doesn't know she does it."

"How long did she harm herself for?"

"I do not know."

"Perhaps we should check her out." He motioned down the corridor towards the room for us. I began walking that way and Mikhail fell into step beside me.

We reached the room in silence and he motioned the door open for me. I walked in and was about to set her on the bed when I heard the sound of grinding stone behind me. I turned around to see Mikhail opening a secret doorway leading to an underground chamber to keep us during the day. I nodded to him and made my way down the twisting stairs. I heard his following footsteps and as I reached the bottom stair, I could see the entire room.

It was magnificently beautiful and I was glad that he had chosen such an elegant room for Nathalie and I to stay in. It would be much easier to calm her here. In the center of the room was a large four poster bed and I set her on it, brushing a few strands of loose hair away from her face. Mikhail leaned over her and looked at me. "I shall check her internally, if you will allow me. Gregori is a better healer than I am, but I think it's safe to assume that you would prefer me."

"Yes, thank you. You know I respect Gregori immensely, I just find his black and white view of things to be tedious."

"I understand." He nodded and closed his eyes, becoming light and energy and seeking out damage inside of Nathalie. I stood aside helplessly as he checked Nathalie out thoroughly. He came back to his body a few moments later, taking a few deep breaths to right himself. "Everything seemed alright. Internally, her muscles and organs are extremely stressed, but it's nothing time and a little rest wont heal. The soil here should take care of that this day."

"Thank you Mikhail. You cannot know how appreciated you are."

"I have an idea, and that alone is enough. Christian, I don't presume to know anything about your lifemate, but I believe that she is in dire need of your protection, and although I know you have been giving it, you must protect her, not only from physical danger, but from what the others say of her as well. I will help as much as I can, but you must be sure to stand up for her in front of anyone, including myself. That would show her that you have faith in your relationship and you are prepared to tough it out for as long as you both live."

I looked at Mikhail and smiled. "I understand. I understand perfectly. Trust me, if I had known about all the talk surrounding her, I would have stopped it far before now. I love her, Mikhail, with all my heart."

"Then sleep well, and know that you are welcome here among us, and always will be. We will help you two through this mysterious phenomenon." I bowed low and he returned the gesture, turning and walking up the stairs a moment later.

I heard the large slab of stone shift back into place and I knew that we were finally alone. I looked at her lying soundlessly on the bed and laid down next to her, watching her sleep the peaceful and undisturbed sleep of the Carpathians. I had the sudden urge to wake her and fought it for a few long moments, telling myself that she was in pain, and that it would not be in my best interest, nor hers. However, it was hard to convince myself of anything when she was lying so soundly next to me, her soft yielding body pressed against mine. A moment later I could take no more, easing myself on top of her and locking my mouth onto hers. I issued the command for her to wake up a moment later.

I watched as her eyes fluttered open, meeting mine hazily. I felt her body stir beneath mine and a roar of need began to form in my chest, but I quickly quenched it, not wanting her to be frightened by the intensity of my feelings. I broke away reluctantly, fighting every instinct I had, those that told me to take her, knowing that I should be mindful of her soreness.

I looked down at her and moved to the side gently, running my hands along her body, looking for injuries, although somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that my intentions were not exactly that. She shivered slightly but said nothing, watching my face intently as I shaped her body with my hands.

"Christian," she finally murmured softly.

"Yes, _mon amour_?" I cooed gently, looking directly into her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

I looked away at the words, harnessing the anger that smoldered at hearing that escape her delightful lips.

"Christian. Please, look at me." I met her gaze, attempting to stifle the fire that most definitely was there in my eyes. She didn't flinch as she looked at me. "I am sorry for making this more difficult than it needs to be. I don't mean to make it seem like I do not want to be your lifemate, because, trust me, I do…I am just frightened about what it means to be Carpathian. When among wolves there is no petty problem that cannot be solved by a short squabble. Here, grudges last, as do rumors. I just don't know if I like the idea of being so unprotected from those types of attacks."

"I will protect you from those things…"

"And who will protect you, Christian? You are so ignorant sometimes! I hear what the males say about you as well as me behind our backs…and I refuse to let them talk about you that way!"

"And what they say about you does not matter?"

"Not nearly as much as what they say about you, Christian! For me, all they do is make passes, or talk about my body, etcetera, but when they speak of you, they speak of you turning, of your honor and how you must be blinded to not see that I do not want you! Christian, they are calling you out on all of the things I know to be true and good about you! If those rumors spread, no one will respect you or your authority as a hunter! And they will never stop searching for me, thinking you have lost your mind and I will want to be saved!"

I was silent for a moment. "How have you heard these things?" She looked away, not meeting my gaze. Immediately I knew. I didn't need to be in her head to know the answer. "You SPIED on them?! Nathalie! What were you thinking? They could have found you, caught you, and…" I cringed, trying to swallow the lump of blind fear that had taken hold of me at the thought of her captured by other males. I leashed my anger as best as I could and placed my hand on her cheek, forcefully making her to look at me. Her eyes were full of tears.

I sighed and loosened my grip on her face. Using my thumb to wipe away her tears. "Don't cry. I am not truly angry with you, I just…If they had in fact caught you…"

"Christian. I do not want to be here anymore. I want to be away, I don't want to have to hear them talking about you losing your soul to the beast within. That scares me more than anything else I have ever encountered, even when I thought I was going to die, or be raped by the vampire."

Her crying increased and my heart shattered at the sound. I lifted her into my arms and held her close, savoring the feel of her against me. "Nathalie. I could never give in to the beast. Knowing you are here is enough to save me from that fate. But if you really wish to leave, we will. I can only make you happy."

She wiped her own face and smiled gently. "No, I was just making a fuss. It's alright, we can stay. It only seems right since your- _our _prince has been so generous."

"That makes no difference to me, Nathalie. If you wish to leave, all males must understand."

"No, let's stay. I am alright now."

I eased her back down onto the mattress, laying down beside her. "It shall be day soon. You must get some rest. You cant be feeling all that well right now."

"What, from- oh. You mean my changing."

Now it was my turn to look away. "Please Nathalie, do not think of it. It is the most inopportune time for your mind to be open to me, because when my mind touches yours, I relive it. I cannot handle the thought of that happening to you again." I felt her hand on my chest and looked down at it, my gaze following her bare skin up her arm to her chest, neck and face.

"Christian. You are so good to me. You need not worry about me harming myself again. I was upset and not thinking clearly…"

"Yes, and I was not there to stop you. I should have been!" I placed my hand on her cheek and she leaned into it, closing her eyes with pleasure.

"You could not have stopped me. Once I had started the rapid changes, the wolf and I were fighting for supremacy. She was confused and ready to attack anyone, not understanding that I was the one forcing the change. If you have come near me a moment too soon, she would have killed you."

"You believe that? I don't, I don't believe she would kill me if given the chance. She is a part of you, and I believe with all my heart that you wouldn't have allowed her to"

"Either way, I would not have liked it if you had taken the chance." She traced the muscles on my chest lazily with her fingers while she spoke. "The thought of you in danger from me is almost worse…" Her voice pitched itself lower as she placed a kiss upon my stomach.

"Nathalie, please…" I nearly groaned, the sensation of her mouth upon my skin almost too much to handle.

"Christian. I love you!" She said with tears in her eyes. "Oh Christian, I love you so very badly. I have from the first moment I saw you!" She pulled herself up towards me, leaning her body over mine, her face directly in front of my own. I could feel her sweet breath beating against my lips and although my mind was raging at me to take her mouth, I forced myself to remain still, and even went as far as to try to discourage her actions.

"Nathalie, if you start now, there is only one way this will end, and the dawn is fast approaching. Please do not force me to endure being brought to the brink without fulfillment."

She laughed softly, a twinkle of amusement lighting up her eyes. "Oh, is that what I would be doing?" She leaned in closer, her lips skimming mine.

I was about to close the distance when a voice sounded within my head. She sat up alertly as well and I knew immediately what was happening. I groaned aloud, releasing some of my pent up frustration so that I could focus on the matter at hand.

"It's Mikhail," she breathed. "Something's wrong!"

"An attack. He says the palace is under attack. Human vampire hunters have found us. We must get up there!" I began to remove myself from the bed, but Nathalie clung to my arm, refusing to release me.

"But the dawn! Christian, the dawn! You cannot fight in it!" Her voice was frantic as she yanked on my arm. I placed my hands on her shoulders to still her, using my thumbs to trace her collarbone. She relaxed enough for me to speak to her logically.

"That is why they have chosen this time. We must go up and get them away now, before they set fire to the place while we are all immobile. This was my responsibility long ago, and so it shall be now. Do not worry, _ma cherie_, I will not be alone in this fight. The male's job it to protect our women and our prince and so we shall." Her eyes were full of fear and sorrow and I couldn't help but feel my heart break at the sight. "I must go. The males need a plan and I am just the man for that. I shall return. Wait for me!" I placed a kiss on her petal soft lips and got off of the bed.

"Christian! Please! Take me with you!" She sat up and threw herself at me. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her.

"I cannot do that, _mon amour_. You know that! You must wait for me! The sooner I leave, the sooner I can return to you!" I kissed her again and this time she kissed me back. It was a kiss bore out of love and desperation, and we both knew it. It filled us both with an intense emotion that we felt deep within us, both realizing that this kiss could very well be our last. That thought alone filled me with dread.

I walked her back towards the bed and eased her onto her back beneath me, continuing to kiss her as I placed a knee between her thighs, needing intimate contact with her. Passion and love sparked between us like never before and I felt a burst of light deep within me; a light so bright that the inner beast was momentarily blinded and I could have killed thousands of vampires in that split second and not have even had to spare a thought for my soul.

I kissed her a few more moments until the warning bells in my head began to sound like sirens. "I have to leave Nathalie. I am so sorry." I said against her forehead.

"Go, and be sure you come back! If it helps you stay alive, feel free to think of all that awaits you when you return." She rubbed her body against me and I caught the hidden meaning behind it.

"Don't you dare think to use **that **against me!" I teased, placing a kiss on her forehead. I dissolved into mist a moment later and headed towards the front gates of the castle.


	16. Sunlight and Poison

_**Sunlight and Poison**_

I could feel the rising of the sun deep within my blood. It had already begun to rise before the men had left, and now as it climbed dangerously high I felt a tingling sensations spread through my body, deep within my bones. I ran up the stairs with all the speed I could muster, throwing open the stone door as if it were made of wood and ran from the upper bed chamber as well, throwing open doors in my path, allowing my heart to lead me towards Christian. I needed to see him, needed to be near him. I didn't truly believe that he was in any danger, but my mind was telling me he was dead, and I couldn't handle that thought.

I sped along down the corridors, my mind racing with thoughts of Christian in harm. It took a lot of discipline to convince myself that my mind was playing tricks on me and Christian was fine. Suddenly, I felt the tingling grow more insistent as my bones contorted themselves smoothly, painlessly morphing my body into a wolf's.

My mind screamed at me, waiting for the pain to take over, but my body painlessly crouched over and instantly I was on all fours, my paws padding me along towards the main doors. As I realized that the pain was not coming, the wolf recognized the terror within my mind and she urged me to use her senses. I did so automatically.

My claws clicked on the stone floor, and I shifted my weight so that they were silent. I then doubled my speed and allowed the wolf's body to move as it was meant to. As I turned the corner into the main greeting chamber, I caught sight of the battle. There was no other word for it: battle. Carpathians were fighting with a large group of humans, receiving injuries and gushing blood, which meant that the sun was slowing them down. Too much more time wasted and they would all be dead. It was then that I caught sight of Christian. He was facing a human who was brandishing a knife towards him, slashing at him when he was even remotely close.

I looked to my right, looking for a way out and accidentally glanced out a window. The sun blazed unmercifully into my eyes, feeling like daggers were being forced into my eyes. I stifled a yelp and quickly shut them, allowing a moment to recuperate.

**_Nathalie! Where ever you are, whatever you are doing, stop! Get yourself to safety! Worry about me and it will be the death of us both! I am here and that should be enough to calm your lifemate instincts._** A moment later his mind was shut off from me. At first I cursed him in my mind, but then I noticed that with his mind blocking mine out, he did not know I was there yet.

When I finally opened my eyes again, I stepped so that they were shielded and my body was in the light. I felt nothing but the warm glow of the sun as it caressed my dark ebony fur and with a start I realized that my body was immune to the sunlight when I was in my wolf form. This was news to me. Before then, I had never tried to exist in the daylight because I never had the need, but now that my lifemate was in danger, I was definitely in need.

As I looked back at Christian, I noticed the glint of glass within the stream of light seeping in through the window. _A syringe! The human has poison hidden within his hand! _Christian was flashing his fangs at the human, hoping for intimidation. Another human joined the other, pacing circles around Christian. I held my breath and crouched, stalking towards the men patiently. The huntress was on the prowl, her protective nature focused on her mate as apposed to me for once and I was thankful for it, knowing her anger when used in a tactical situation would out maneuver my own.

My soft underbelly brushed against the ground as I let the wolf take over, the thoughts within her mind turning red with fury and fear. I watched as Christian's movements slowed even more, until I was sure that he would fall over. I was about a few feet away from the human when he ran towards Christian, the syringe held firmly within his hand. I launched out from behind the wall and shoved all of my weight unto the human, knocking him off balance. All four paws hit the stone floor and skidded slightly as I turned tail and threw myself in front of Christian who was now in front of the other males; all of them inching away slowly back towards the shadows. I snarled a warning of fury at the humans and they all backed off slightly. At the same time I connected my mind with Christian's and heard the males screaming at each other, every urge telling them to protect me, but their bodies were useless to them and so they were forced to watch.

**_NATHALIE! GET OUT OF HERE! IF THEY CATCH YOU-_**

**_Christian, if I leave, they will kill you and if that were to occur, I would be dead regardless…I will follow you forever my love, even in death_**. I used my mind to trace his chest with my fingers and he moaned softly into my thoughts, even in the midst of all this chaos I could still make him weak in the knees. **_Now sit down, shut up and let the wolf work here!_**

**_Nathalie. This is no joke! If anything happens to you…_**

**_I know, Christian. I know,_** I said solemnly.

I stepped towards the humans, sparing a glance for the males behind me. The humans scattered, all watching me and their leader intently.

"What is this? You never mentioned a guard dog! Are there more," one human who was out of my sight asked, apparently confused as to why everyone had stopped fighting. I laid my ears back and growled a warning at the man in front of me who was presumably the leader. He held out the syringe and I bared my fangs, showing him that I was no fool. I knew what type of weapon he held and I would not allow him to forget that I held my own as well.

"You moron! This is no dog!" He spared a glare at the man over my head, but just as quickly met my eyes again. I began to pace slowly in front of the males, snarling and shaking my head, demonstrating any sign of power that I could. His eyes examined my body and I took the opportunity to creep closer while he was distracted.

"What shall we do, sir?" The other man beside him whispered. "The men await your command."

"This wolf will rip out my throat if I so much as indicate for the attack to continue. She is no normal wolf. Her intelligence matches our own. Don't you see it in her eyes?" I had to give the man some credit. Apparently he wasn't a total idiot. _ Not exactly the best quality for an opponent, but…_

**_Be careful Nathalie! He is well aware of what you are doing. I do not sense fear in him, which leads me to believe that he is formulating a plan. You must act before he acts upon his._**

**_Thank you General…anything else?_** I mocked.

**_I am not laughing._**

_**So I had noticed.**_

"So what now, wolf? I am not prepared to leave without these demons! You may believe in loyalty, as most beasts do, but for us, the reasoning is deeper. These are human killers! They feast on our flesh and we are simply protecting our 'pack'. You must understand that! Now let us pass!"

I growled loudly as he took a step forward, letting him know that his speech did not move me as he had clearly thought it would.

I closed my eyes and focused on connecting minds with the human. This was much easier than I had expected. _Human! These are not the creatures you seek. They may appear to be, but they are not, they are the contrary. They are the hunters of that evil. Now listen to me. You will take your men and leave us in peace, forgetting everything you have seen and heard here forever. Once you return to your base you will burn all evidence connected to our species you have. After that is done and only after that is done will you have full control of your minds again. Do I make myself clear?_

"No! I will not fall for your trickery she-wolf!" All Carpathian eyes looked at him in confusion.

_This is no trickery. I speak only truth. _All the other humans made for the exist, save this one. _Please, be on your way. I would prefer not to have to kill you, but if I must, I will._

_"_No, you must be a female vampire, with powers unknown yet to us! Know now that you have doomed your sex and race! If I leave now, I swear to hunt down every female vampire before I die. I will do horrible things to them, extending their suffering, now that I know that they are the worse of the two evils."

All the men where looking between the two of us, wondering at this one-sided conversation. At the mention of hunting down females, the men all jumped to their senses, trying uselessly to destroy the human. The sun was too high, already they were feeling the burning effects on their bodies, though the sun only seeped in through a crack in one window.

_I have given you my last warning man! Allow me access to your mind so that I may know my people are safe, otherwise I will be forced to kill you._

"Never!" He lunged towards Christian with the syringe in one hand and the dagger in the other. I leapt at his throat, teeth bared and ready to make the kill. At the last moment before I felt my teeth graze his flesh, I felt a sharp stab within my side and a long slit across my chest. The pain was blinding, and in that instant, I allowed my mind to split in two, the wolf in my body and the woman floating somewhere beyond. All the men's screams echoing in my head as I looked at the scene from behind the wolf's protective eyes.

**_Shut down your body, Nathalie! Now! You have done well. Only one human remains, he cannot possible kill us all. Please, do as we say and shut yourself down. _** Mikhail's voice was insistent and forceful, though it was plain that fear was concealed behind every word.

**_He has more than just this syringe of poison. If I leave you to fend for yourselves now, you will all die. You may pretend that you can kill him, but his mind has its own barrier and he has a poison designed specifically to kill our kind, slowly and painfully. Even now I know it is working its way through my body. I cannot leave you to meet your end. I will die for my people!_**

_**Nathalie! If you die, we will lose Christian as well! We cannot lose another pair. You could produce lifemates for other males. **_

**_Not if all of you are dead to begin with!_** Even now I couldn't understand the ignorant self confident natures of Carpathian men. _Even wolves are intelligent enough to admit that they can be defeated._

**_Nathalie, please! _**Christian's voice was laced with pain. Tears cascaded down his cheeks, the sole sign of movement on his frozen body that was covered in welts upon the floor. **_Nathalie! No! Now, do it now! If Mikhail is concerned for you, you must listen to him. He is our Prince!_**

****I looked around the room and noticed the way our men looked spread out upon the floor, leaden, and burning within the sunlight. I looked at my Christian, his eyes meeting mine as I noticed his fingers move slightly. **_Your Prince Christian. I do not belong within the Carpathian race. I have never fit in and so if someone is to be lost, it might as well be me, and for a good cause!_**

**_No, Nathalie, no._** Christian whispered.

**_Nathalie! You belong with us, and always have!_** Mikhail was sounding more exhausted and sorrowful by the minute, positive that he would lose at least one Carpathian.

I was suddenly aware of my body again as I felt it make contact with a nearby wall. I noticed that the human was kicking me, taking his anger out on my poor mangled body, thinking my mind was still there. I allowed both minds to reconnect for a moment and took note on the poison coursing it's way slowly through my body. I could still move and so I shoved the sensation of death creeping through me into the back of my mind and lifted myself gingerly to my feet, snapping occasionally to keep his foot from knocking me back on the ground. When I was on all fours, my legs wobbled slightly, before I felt a strong pair of hands wrap around me. I knew immediately that it was only in my mind, but Christian's attempt at comfort was appreciated regardless.

**_Hey valiant boy! Stop wasting your energy comforting me and rest!_**

_**I will not allow you to be in pain…when…well…**_

_**A little late for that, isn't it love? Besides do not worry…I feel fine.**_

_**Nathalie, stop! You know very well what is going on. You cannot deny it! …you are…well…**_

_**Dying? **_

**_Please don't say it…please, do not! I cant handle it!_** The beast roared, but I knew he was simply upset.

_**I am not dying as of yet Christian and I don't plan on it anytime soon. I intend to give you a piece of my mind before I go. You had no right to leave me behind and go fight in broad daylight you idiot! Now save your energy, I will be fine!**_

**_You will die. _**It was said certainly, as if he had already accepted my fate as his own.

_**Christian, don't play with my emotions or it will happen sooner. I need to focus on saving your sorry hide.**_

**_Where was this bold sassy mouth before?_** I heard a hesitant smile behind his words.

**_Didn't I tell you to shut up?_** It hurt me to, but I blocked him from my mind and stalked towards the human who's eyes followed me with lethal intent. He began walking closer and as he leaned towards me, I made a rash decision and pretended to stumble. The man reached for me, his hands going for the scruff of my neck. I twisted at the last second and leapt towards his throat, clamping on and crushing his windpipe in one bite. I let go and he fell backwards, his knees crumpling beneath him as he fell like a dead bird shot from the sky.

****I looked around and quickly found a heavy blanket that was thrown over a nearby chair. I picked it up with my teeth and padded over to where the window was, tossing my head and the blanket again and again until it caught in the pane and stuck, casting the hallway in darkness. I sighed and felt my legs give out from underneath me. My chin hit the floor with an audible thump and I bit my tongue in retaliation. I closed my eyes over the pain and allowed my own body to become leaden as well. I felt a hand around my waist and looked down only to realize that there was a real hand on my waist and it was against bare peachy skin. I gasped and reached my hand up to ravel in my hair, liking the feel of my human body appearing so suddenly. I followed the hand up to Christian's rock hard chest and then to his memorable face.

"Christian…" I barely recognized the sound of my voice, it sounded so weak and feeble.

"I am here Nathalie. We are all here and we all owe you so much."

**_So now you admit it! Christian, you males forget that for every male that dies, so does a female…I did what I did for them…and you of course. I hope I haven't disappointed you._**

"Never. Now, just lie still. Lie next to me and shut your body down. We will fix you up in no time, tonight."


	17. Paralyzed

_**Paralyzed **_

I awoke to find myself in a four poster bed in the middle of a darkened room. All shapes around me were blurry, and I had a hard time distinguishing people from furniture. I knew Christian was present, but that knowledge came more from instinct than sight. I blinked a few times to try and right my vision and when it didn't work, I reached up to rub at my face and found my limbs to be leaden still, as if I was not in control of my own body. I tried to move anything else and when I was finally able to shift my body, the pain washed over me and I moaned in agony.

"Nathalie?" Christian's voice in my ear was enough to dull the pain and so I opened my eyes again, seeing his blurry face a few feet from mine.

"Christian." My voice was barely above a whisper and it sounded weaker than I had expected it would.

"Nathalie. Hang in there, _mon amour_!" He cooed softly, reaching his hand up to touch my face.

**_Who all is here? And what is the matter with me, I cannot see, Christian!_**

****"I know _ma cherie_. We are working on it. Mikhail is here, along with Raven, Savannah, Gregori and our eldest males, Lucian and Gabriel and their lifemates Jaxon and Francesca. We are all watching over you, love…now go to sleep."

**_I just woke up, Christian! I would like to get up and assess the damage first before I leisurely go back to bed._**

_**We are doing just that, and from what I am told the outlook is not nearly as optimistic as you are. Getting up is definitely not in your nearest future.**_

_**Christian, quit stalling and just tell me what happened.**_

"Well, Nathalie, um…right now, your body is…not exactly-"

****"Nathalie, you didn't shut down your body fast enough. The poison has made it through a good portion of your body, practically withering quite a few organs, nerves and muscles. Your body is pretty much in disrepair right now," Gregori's matter of fact voice cut in, interrupting Christian's adorable attempt at breaking the news gently.

I connected to the general Carpathian mental path. **_And so, will I…be able to live my life again eventually or can Christian only look forward to having a vegetable for a lifemate? _**I attempted a joke, but it was apparent by their sober faces that my joke wasn't funny. I shivered involuntarily at the thought of never again being in control of my body.

"OF COURSE you will be your normal self again, sooner than you may think." Mikhail's comforting authority forced everyone into false reassurances."We will not allow it to end any other way. Yesterday, you showed great bravery Nathalie, and the you will be rewarded for the service you have provided for our people. No one will speak badly of you anymore, your name will be said only in praise."

"All I want…" I had to stop and take a deep breath. A few males made a shushing noise, but I continued, "is to be Christian's lifemate…be able to be what he needs…in all ways…"

"You will be able to move again, I can assure you that much. Maybe not for a while, but you will." Mikhail sounded so sure. I wanted to believe him. "But until then, we must all be patient. That includes you and Christian as well."

**_Christian?…without me to…well…what happens to you?_**

**_Don't ever worry about me, Nathalie!  
Too late for that…if it helps, you may find another woman to…well…at least until I can…_** I mentally blushed as I felt him trace my collarbone gently before leaning down to kiss it. I sighed, wishing I could show my affection back.

**_No other woman could ever do me any good. We shall wait this out together. Besides, I shouldn't be completely comfortable while you are miserable. _**His hand tangled in my hair and I groaned within my mind. He smiled and I knew he had heard my frustration. _**It's alright **ma cherie**. If I can wait for you, I am certain we both can.**_

_**I am sorry Christian. Truly I am…but I do not regret what I did.**_

_**And you shouldn't. I am very proud of you.**_

_**Even if it has cost us greatly?**_

_**Even so.**_

In that moment, a searing pain raced through my bloodstream and I felt a scream work its way up and out my mouth. I closed my eyes over the pain and rode it out, calling upon the wolf to take the majority of the pain. There in my mind as well, was Christian, shouldering as much of the agony as he could.

I moment later I felt a warm sensation race through my body, chasing the pain away. After a few extra minutes I was finally able to open my eyes and when I did, I noticed that all the men had gone still. I knew they were all within me, working on my mangled carcass of a body and I stifled a whimper at the thought of what was occurring within me.

The four women were beside me, taking wet cloths to my now sweat soaked body. One waved her hand and I was naked. I gasped softly, but they simply murmured reassurances to me while bathing my skin in warm water. I relaxed into the bed and a moment later they stopped, the smallest woman clothing me with another wave of her hand.

The men all came back to their bodies, most swaying slightly from the exertion of healing, the only ones who didn't do so were the eldest males. I saw the two women go to their lifemates and grab hold of them, offering their blood. I looked over at my own lifemate to see him swaying as well. I wanted to be able to help him, but if he ingested my blood, he would be poisoned as well.

**_Don't worry. I will be fine. I am learning to heal from the best. They will teach me well._**

_**You need blood Christian. Go, take it from someone else. I am only sorry I cannot help you.**_

_**I cannot Nathalie. These men need their strength to heal you and I cannot take it from the women, it would only cause you and their lifemates distress.**_

**_I would not be distressed. Nor would they. _**I attempted to reach for his hand, but when it wouldn't move I felt tears work their way into my eyes.

_**You do not understand, **mon amour. **They would be and so would you. Once we are joined to our other half, we must feed from one another, because if someone else of the opposite sex even touches our lifemate we become enraged with jealousy. I am certain you will learn later, but for now, I'd rather not distress you anymore. **_He wiped my cheeks free of tears and kneeled beside the bed.

"Hang in there Nathalie. I know this is so extremely difficult, but we will make it through this. And when we do, I promise I will reward you for your bravery and patience." **_Now, it is probably best if you go back to sleep._**

_**Christian, no. I do not want to sleep. I want to see you. If I can do nothing else, I want simply to see you.**_

_**I thought you couldn't see.**_

**_It is blurry, but I can. Oh Christian, I hate not being able to move. I cannot touch you, I cannot kiss you, I can barely watch you when you move about the room. I hope Mikhail is right and this paralysis is not permanent. _**I felt tears come to my eyes once more and Christian sighed, reaching up to wipe them away. For a moment as his fingers caressed my face, I found a bit of humor in the situation. Here we had five Carpathian males, the sex of a species that prides itself on brute strength. And here they were, tending to a helpless woman with such nurturing care, it made me smile within my mind.

_**Mikhail believes it is a temporary side effect of the poison and that the humans put it within the poison for transporting us easily. It makes sense. They would want us to be incapable of moving while they take us to their lab, which may very well be over seas, but they would want to study not only us, but our movements as well. Yes, I believe you will be able to move again, eventually.**_

_**I do not like the sound of eventually. Christian? I do not understand that way of thinking. If they wanted to keep us all alive, the poison would not have attacked vital organs so quickly.**_

****Christian looked into my eyes for a few long moments before turning to Mikhail, repeating what I had said. Mikhail glared at Christian, a stern reprimanding look in his eyes. I assumed that Mikhail was speaking to Christian on a secretive mental path because Christian looked at the ground while Mikhail continued to stare. I suddenly remembered that there were no secrets between lifemates, because one could look into the other's mind. I decided to do so now.

**_Do you wish her dead?_** Mikhail asked angrily.

**_OF COURSE I DON'T!_** Christian was long past controlling his fury for his prince.

**_Well, what she needs now is reassurance. I am not certain if she will in fact recover…or even live, but If we are to lose her, I want her to leave this world comfortably, not in a state of panic and dread. _**

_**If she dies, I do as well.**_

_**I know. Which is why we will do our best to save her.**_

_**And will she move again, even if she is saved?**_

_**I do not know. I hope so, since it would be hard for a lifemate, especially a male, to have a paralyzed partner.**_

_**I just don't want her to suffer Mikhail. She does not deserve any of this.**_

_**I know.**_

****I broke my mind off from his, not wanting to hear anymore. Mikhail looked up with a start as if he had sensed me breaking away from Christian.

"Nathalie?" His voice brought everyone's attention to me. I felt the tears run down my cheeks and at that point I didn't care anymore. Christian walked over towards me and reached for my hand.

**_Don't you dare touch me!_** I growled into his head.

He jumped back and looked at Mikhail.

"Nathalie? You did not just-"

**_I did! And how dare you all think to trick me?_** **_You think it does me well to think I am fine and on my way to recovery when I there is still a chance that I may die? You males all think you know what is best for us women, but you haven't the slightest clue! Leave me! All of you! Now!_**

****"Nathalie, we cannot and will not leave you here alone."

**_Why the hell not?_**

"You remember the last time you felt that convulsion of pain?"

I stared angrily up at Mikhail. **_What kind of question is that?_**

"Well that was the poison going after your heart. Literally."

**_And?_**

****"And if it were to attack your heart, you would die."

**_And that is different from dying by waiting, how?_**

****"We may be able to remove the poison. It will be difficult and it will take time, but it isn't entirely impossible, however it is unlikely that you will be back to your full health again."

**_In other words, the outlook is slim._**

****"Well…"

_**So how is dying one way different from any other. Just leave me. I am sure there are many other things that you could be doing with your time. More productive things…**_

****"Nathalie, this is not funny! Stop thinking this way!" Christian sounded like he was becoming more upset by the minute.

**_You lied to me as well lifemate! Don't forget about that! _**I retaliated.

"Nathalie! Stop this! If you die, we lose Christian as well. We would not only be losing you both, but the chance of you reproducing as well. We need females Nathalie and you just may be able to give us baby girls to save our men's souls!"

**_Mikhail, I am not a moron. I do know some of our powers and how to use them. I am capable of healing small injuries by myself._**

"What do you mean?"

**_I mean that I checked myself internally and I know that the poison attacked my reproductive organs. When I felt that happen right after I was attacked, I split my mind and protected that part of me as much as I could. I did that until I lost consciousness, and I do not know what has happened since then, but I am fairly sure that that part of me has not remained untouched by the poison. Even if I recover, who knows if I can have children._**

"We already saw to that. If you do recover, you will have children. Strong, healthy children." The one called Lucian said.

"What?" I managed to sigh.

"The women told us that that would be what they would want saved first and so we humored them, thinking them slightly mad, but apparently not so." Gregori added.

**_Is this a lie as well?_** I hissed at Christian.

**_No, mon amour. It is not. Honestly, I wanted them to save you first. I do not have to have children to be happy, but you are essential to me. However, they persisted._**

_**I do not blame you for seeing to me first, but I am happy they protected my future children.**_

_**We never discussed children. Hell, we barely had the chance to conceive any.**_

_**I would love to have children with you someday Christian. The wolf wants to nurture and she would love a child. I wonder if she will pass traits onto our babies.**_

_**She might, but do not worry about any of this now. You need to rest. If you can shut down your body for us, we can continue working.**_

_**Alright. I can do that. Just promise me something, Christian. **_

_**Anything, mon amour!**_

_**Promise me that you will make sure no one risks their own life or health for my own.**_

"Nathalie, I-"

**_PROMISE ME!_**

"Alright, I promise."

I shut my body down and went to sleep. The last thing I remember is Christian placing a kiss on my stone cold lips.


	18. Friends and Foes

_**Friends and Foes**_

I slept with Nathalie beside me. Her body seemed lifeless and I despised allowing her to sleep like that when thoughts of her dead swirled in my mind, making it so that I could barely leave her side long enough to feed. She was so very sick. We all knew the grave situation she was in and even though everyone had done what they could for her, it didn't seem to be enough. The poison came back stronger, trying new means of attacking each and every time. When she was sleeping the sleep of our people, the poison could do nothing and that is when we had to do most of the work, but somehow whenever we woke her enough to get her blood moving, the poison would reproduce, infecting her once again.

I hated seeing her in pain and every time we had to force her awake and keep her conscious for a treatment or a test to better understand the poison, I wept for her. She remained unshakably strong, not even giving in to the urge to scream, merely whimpering softly when the pain was unbearable.

I didn't deserve her.

I reached over to touch her skin when my hand came in contact with fur. I jumped up and nearly fell off the bed in my surprise. I quickly connected to the mental path of all Carpathians and called our group of healers back to me. They were in the room within a second and all staring at the bed in awe.

"How did it happen?" Gregori sounded skeptical.

"I don't know. One minute I was touching skin, the next it was fur." I said in one breath.

"Did she force the change?" Mikhail asked.

"She is sound asleep, my prince."

"So that rules that out. Perhaps her wolf is trying to protect her." Lucian suggested with a shrug of his powerful shoulders.

"Don't be absurd, no one can change while they are in the deep sleep of our people." His brother retaliated.

"Little is known about Nathalie. I don't believe we should rule out that possibility." Mikhail's voice of reason silenced all others. "Wake her Christian. Everyone be ready to seek within her body if the poison should attack."

I hesitated before calling softly into her mind. **_Nathalie, love. Wake and come to me._**

Her green-blue eyes opened on cue, looking around her as if she didn't quite know where she was.

**_Nathalie?_** Her eyes met mine, as if she had heard me, but I could find no path to her mind through the wolf and this worried me greatly.

**_Mikhail? Gregori? Lucian? Gabriel? What is happening? I cannot connect with her! Help her! Change her back if you must! I am worried! The woman seems to not be within the wolf!_**

**_Hold, Christian. The poison is not attacking the wolf's body…we must wait this out._**

Gregori's calm way of dealing with this potentially dangerous situation caused my blood to boil. I felt a cold nose on the back of my hand and it thankfully brought me back to my senses. I looked at the she-wolf's muzzle nestled within the palm of my hand. Her eyes were raised to look into mine and I nearly felt tears work their way into my eyes. Her nose nuzzled my hand once more before she stood, leaping off the bed in one clean leap.

Everyone took a few steps back to accommodate her roaming around the room. She began to pace around the room, her head lowered, eyeing the other males with malice in her eyes. She growled low in her throat and they all backed off even more.

"Nathalie!" I tried to call her to me. She lifted her head and met my gaze, camaraderie in her eyes, before she turned angrily upon the males. She growled at them again.

**_Christian, the poison is not there, but neither is Nathalie. This is simply the wolf. You must find her spirit deep within her soul. The poison must have pushed her far enough back that she cannot even come to the call of her lifemate. You must find her before she is gone for good! _**Mikhail would never worry me needlessly and so I immediately knew that I had to do as he said. A moment later I shifted into the form of a wolf, matching Nathalie with a single heartbeat.

The wolf's eyes glared at me a moment, scenting the air with apprehension, but a moment later, her ears perked up and she trotted over to flank me as I moved towards the door. **_I will find her._** The males nodded their understanding and parted to allow us to leave. Just as we were about to pass them, Nathalie froze, snarling low and baring her teeth at them.

**_Christian. The wolf in her smells the shape shifter in us. I am not certain whether she will attack or not if we move._** **_We will have to fight back if she does attack, and your instincts would turn you on us as well. You must calm her. _**Mikhail warned.

I turned on my heels and walked back beside her, nuzzling her neck gently in reassurance. She leaned into me but still has her eyes fixed menacingly on the others. **_And you expect me to tame her? _**I half laughed at them.

**_Christian… _**There was a clear warning in Gregori's voice. **_ If she attacks I will defend my prince regardless of who the wolf truly is._**

**_If you lay one finger on her that is more forceful than necessary, I will rip your throat out myself._**

Mikhail sighed and gave the command for everyone to slowly back out of the room. The first few steps were taken lightly, everyone on full alert but as nothing happened their steps became more bold. They were almost out of the door when Nathalie lunged at them, teeth bared, going straight for Mikhail's throat. He raised his hand slowly and a moment later, Nathalie was flung back against the far wall.

**_Nathalie!_** My call was met with silence and I had to remind myself that she was not able to respond to me and it was now my job to find her soul. When I turned around to go to her, my eyes met with her frail human body up against the wall. I ran over to her and shifted into human form, my knees hit the ground beside her as I knelt hastily. **_Mikhail!_**

_**We are already within her, Christian. The poison has a firm hold on her and I am still unsure where her soul is. There is a faint light deep within her mind, you must go to her Christian. I doubt she will come to us by herself.**_

**_Nathalie. Nathalie, please. _**I called as I forced my way past all her natural barriers and into her mind. I saw the gleam of light and when it faded even more, I sent my spirit chasing after it. The light was like a beacon, leading me to Nathalie and I held onto that thought with every ounce of control I had. My body was far behind me, and all that mattered now was finding Nathalie.

****After a few moments of chasing her light, her thoughts and emotions hit me in a flood of color and sound. I had the sudden urge to cover my own eyes, but if I even moved an inch of my physical body, I knew she would once again be lost. I fought the instinct and searched within her subconscious for a glint of hope that she would be able to overcome the effects of the poison.

**_Christian? _**My heart leapt at the sound of her tentative voice within my own mind.

_**Yes Nathalie, I am here. Speak with me, **mon amour**! What has happened to you?**_

**_Christian. I am frightened. My body is not my own. I do not know what the poison is doing to me, but it gets harder to remain within my body with every passing minute. I am losing energy faster than I can say. I may have made a scene, but I do not want to die Christian! I want to stay with you! I love you!_** The terror in her voice was eminent and I could also hear the weakness seeping in, as if it were a constant presence taking a toll on her.

**_Trust in me Nathalie. Stay with me. Merge yourself fully with me and I will give you energy._**

_**You have already used far too much of your own energy finding me Christian. You must return to your own body. The others are also giving far too much of themselves to save me. You must give up Christian. You all must give up. This poison was not meant to be merciful. It will draw out my suffering until I finally give in. I am far too tired to fight anymore Christian, we must end it. Please. You are my lifemate and you know your every instinct is to give me what I want. Well I want to be done with this Christian. Please. It hurts and I am too tired. I love you and wish I could live for you, but I am so very tired. Please…let me go.**_

****I felt tears work their way into my eyes, whether they physically had or not was unknown to me.**_ Nathalie, I cannot and will not let you go. You were not meant to die here and now, I am certain of it!_**

_**Than what are we to do, Christian? I cannot hold on here forever.**_

_**I will think of something **ma cher**, you may be certain of that! For now, we will send you back to sleep. I will come find you once more, once I have found how I may save you.**_

_**Christian. Do not leave me. Stay here with me! I beg you! I do not want to be alone when…**_

**_You WILL NOT die! _**I growled at her, frustrated at the thought itself. _**I will not allow it! You will be able to survive until I can save you. You were meant for great things, **mon amour. **And I will reward you well for your bravery once you are well again. **_

_**Whatever you do, do it quick. I will hold out for you as long as I can!**_

_**That is all I can ask of you. I love you very much Nathalie.**_

_**I love you too Christian. Come back to me.**_

_**You can count on it.**_

It took a great amount of control to return to my body and I had to fight nearly every instinct I had along the way. I felt bereft in my own body and the emotion pain was immense, washing over me in waves. I looked at the males around us, all had returned to their bodies the moment she was sent to sleep.

"Christian?" Mikhail inquired.

"I cannot bring her back. She is too tired and too weak to even hold onto my energy and use it as her own. I have promised to return to her once I have discovered a way to save her and I intend to do just that."

"What do you intend to do about it?" Gregori sounded annoyed.

"I am going to the source. I intend to hunt down the humans Nathalie let go. They cant have gotten too far." I matched the intensity of his annoyance.

The other males looked at Mikhail sharing an all knowing look.

"What is it?" I asked, attempting to calm my emotions long enough so that my words sounded at least partially respectful towards my prince.

"She will not last Christian. Her will is strong but I doubt it is strong enough."

"You underestimate her. You all do."

"Perhaps." He glanced back at Nathalie for a moment. "I just am not sure if she will survive the separation, or even if you will."

"I have to try, Mikhail. I entrust her into your care while I am gone."

"Return quickly, and be sure to proceed with caution once you find the humans. If you are poisoned we have lost you both regardless."  
"Thank you" I grasped each male's forearms a moment before shimmering into mist and disappearing into the night.

I headed towards the sea, streaming through the crisp night air. I caught sounds and scents as I passed by human towns and I filtered through them carefully, attempting to catch anything that might link me to Nathalie's attackers.

I found nothing for a long time until finally I caught a familiar image near the airport from within a worker's mind. I materialized on the ground in a darkened alley and walked into the over-crowded building. The scent of the humans was faint, and intermingled with many others, but I could follow it to the general area of the worker and then scan minds to find the direct source. I found him within a few minutes, and grabbed his arm firmly, hauling him off to the side so that I could speak with him. I scanned his thoughts gently while I inquired about the group of men. At first he was reluctant to say anything, but with the correct amount of persuasion, he told me everything I needed to know.

The base was located in Chicago, or at least one of them was. The men were returning to their homes and I had every intention of making them pay for what they had done to my lifemate. I released the man from my enthrallment and shoved him away from me a little to harshly. The man stared up at me in a daze, as he got gingerly to his feet and hurried away. I stood stock still, breathing deeply, attempting to control my rage. The demon was roaring at me to avenge my lifemate and it was difficult to remain even remotely polite to any human when all I wanted to do was rip out their throats.

**_Easy my friend. Stay calm. Where are you? _**I heard the voice of Byron, my childhood friend sound gently within my head, calmly suppressing my anger.

**_I am hunting down a group of humans_**.

**_Yes, I have heard about your lifemate's display of selfless bravery. I am sorry for you both_**. I heard a feminine sound of agreement.

_**Merci. I am heading towards where I believe the base to be. I caught images from a man within the airport …they were boarding a flight to the US…Chicago.**_

_**Wait for me and I will travel with you. I was bringing my lifemate back to the mountains, but we can delay our trip for a short while.**_

_**I appreciate the offer, but I would not want you to place your own lifemate in danger. **_

_**She does that willingly herself. It is a miracle my hair is not completely gray already.**_

****I grunted my agreement at the same moment I heard a light laugh dance between us. **_Your lifemate is amused._**

_**As well she should be. Once of us ought to be. Regardless, we are on our way. If you prefer to travel alone, we will meet you in Chicago.**_

_**I am quite capable of-**_

_**I know you are Christian, I do not intend to be your protector. I intend to be simply your friend. I believe you could use one at the moment.**_

_**Very well. I will meet you in Chicago.**_

We stood in front of a large stone building, moss and ivy creeping up the sides in an unnatural pattern. I turned to my two companions and smiled.

"It seems they are not alone."

"I sense blank spots within the minds of those within."

"Indeed, I sense it as well. The stench of the undead is all over this wretched place."

"What does that mean for us and our purpose?" Antoinetta asked softly.

"It means this wont be as easy of a job as we had originally thought."

I scanned the building again, and although there were many signs of the vampire, he didn't seem to be present.

"The vampire must have helped with the poison. That would explain its efficiency." Byron thought aloud, looking around to make sure humans passing by were not aware of us.

"Yes, but where there is poison there is an antidote. The undead would not be unguarded. If one of the humans decided to use it on him, he would want a way to save himself."

"Makes perfect sense to me." Antoinetta added, taking a few steps towards the building. Byron placed himself in front of her and approached as well. I hesitated a moment before following on his heels.

"Hold _cara mia_, there may be safeguards. Christian?"

I took a moment to inspect the walls and doors carefully, tracing my hands along the cold brick. "No, there are none, the undead has not placed any, thinking himself immune to harm when with these humans. I must say, knowing that there is a vampire behind all this only increases my anger."

"I agree. But why would an undead send humans to attack the prince alone? Would he not have gone with?"

I froze, my heart pounding within my chest. Byron stilled, hearing the frantic rhythm of my heart and knowing the source of my sudden terror.

We both connected to the main path to our people and sent out a plea for reassurance. **_Mikhail, Gregori? Is everything alright?_**

_**There is a large legion of the undead here, we are fighting them off quite easily, they may have attacked at once, but we outnumber them and many of us are experienced hunters.**_

_**I apologize, but are you available to check on Nathalie for me? I am quite nervous.**_

_**Certainly. Everything seems to be under control. The vampires are young at best.**_

****I waited a few moments for Lucian to reach Nathalie. The minutes seemed to go by at a drugging pace and still no word from Lucian. Finally I could breathe again. **_Christian?_**

_**Yes, I am here!**_

I growl escaped as he said the words. **_She is gone Christian!_**

_**In what meaning of the word?**_

_**As in, she has been taken! **_

****I snarled my response, the inner beast raging against the chains, fighting tooth and nail for supremacy. **_I am on my way! Find her for me Lucian!_**

_**I will.**_

****I didn't move, didn't breathe; couldn't. I felt flames building within me, raising up to ignite anything in my path. I thought of Nathalie, attempting to calm myself, but the only thoughts that entered my mind were of here within the hands of a vampire. I shuddered from the attempt to not allow my anger free reign of my soul.

****"Christian?" Antoinetta's hand rested softly on my shoulder. I snarled at her in warning and Byron glared back, sending me a silent warning. She inched back closer to Byron, and he took up residence beside her, placing her underneath the protection of his shoulder.

I took a single breath. "I am sorry. Forgive me Antoinetta."

"Already done Christian." She murmured back, sending me waves of understanding.

"I have to go to her. To hell with the humans and any vampire here, I must find my lifemate. You are welcome to do as you like, but I cannot stay here when she is in danger. If she dies, no one will be safe from my wrath!" I took off without looking back, my mind solely on Nathalie.


	19. Ultimate Betrayal

_**Ultimate Betrayal**_

From deep within the shelter of my mind, I felt my body making contact with my soul, reaching out to merge into one full being. I allowed it to happen, waiting patiently to be reunited with Christian, who had apparently found a way to save me. When I was able to, I opened my eyes, words of love on my lips and a moment later nearly screamed in horror. At first, the face I looked upon was familiar and yet the look in his eyes was completely foreign.

"Hello my dear." I stayed silent, staring at the twisted face of a vampire that shouldn't have even existed as a Carpathian, let alone as a demon.

"What is wrong my love? Don't even recognize the beloved face of your own brother?"

I cannot describe the amount of terror I felt at seeing my once beloved brother as a demonic monster, bend on harming me for God knows what reason. I knew then that whatever his reasons, I would not be able to escape him on my own. His soul was long since gone and he would have a twisted way of making me repay him for whatever injustice he thought I had done him.

**_Oh God…Christian?! Christian, please answer me!_**

****I felt a stirring in my mind, a gentle tentative touch that was full of tenderness. **_Nathalie?_**

**_Christian! It is my brother! He is a…a… _**I swallowed as if it would help me say the word within my mind. It did not. **_…well_**, **_he has me now…and he was responsible for my capture, the attack on the prince, all of it! I am certain he was! I am so frightened. He is angry with me….and the man that was once my brother is completely gone…I do not know what he will do, but it will not be merciful._**

_**The undead never are. Where are you?**_

_**I do not know…oh god Christian. I am happy to be alive, but not if I am only going to live long enough to be tortured to death by my own brother.**_

**_I will not allow it to happen. Look around, I will see through your eyes._** I did as he asked.**_ I do not recognize it, but I will find you._**

_**Be careful Christian. I am certain if he does not know of you already that as soon as he does, he will want you dead…His hatred for you, because you did not turn, will be extensive. **_

_**Do not worry about me. I was born a hunter, it is you I am concerned for.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**Je t'aime aussi, ma cherie! I will be with you soon.**_

**_Never soon enough. _**I regained my composure a few moments after I broke the connection, not wanting the vampire to be able to hear Christian if we spoke long enough. "Please…" I managed to squeak out. "Why are you doing this, Gaston? I have done nothing to you!"

"No, I suppose that is true." He moved backwards, giving me space to sit up. I raised my body up gingerly, pushing myself backward as I did so. My back eventually making contact with a stone wall and at the feel of the cold rock on my back, I looked around the room, finding that we were in some abandoned cellar. I didn't know where Christian was, but I knew it wouldn't be easy for him to get to me.

"So, where is your beloved lifemate, my dear?"

At the thought of him harming Christian, my anger flared "You took me away from him, so how should I know…besides did not answer **my **question, brother." I felt my emotions rise up to meet me. "Where have you been?" I breathed sadly.

His eyes softened if only for a minute before they became malicious again. "That is not part of the game, deary."

"Oh, this is a game? Good, I thought for a moment you actually wanted to harm me."

"Why would I do a thing like that? After all, you did not do anything to me….Oh, unless you count leaving me for dead, and in doing so, forcing me to live a lifetime of solitude and torture without a lifemate."

"I had no control over your soul. Even if I hadn't thought you dead, I would not have been able to save you from the darkness. Only a lifemate can do that. Siblings cannot be lifemates."

"That has never been proven." He argued, sounding suddenly unsure of himself.

"No, nor has it been confirmed as false." He growled at my words and rushed at me, his clawed hand going straight for my throat. He grasped on tightly for a few moments and I clawed at his cold blackened fingers, attempting to remove his putrid hands from my windpipe. He let go angrily and shoved me backwards so that my head hit the stone with an audible crack. I felt my world tilt before righting itself once more. A lump had begun to form on the back of my head, but at least that was all the harm that had befallen me.

"How did you save me? Why?" That alone made no sense whatsoever.

"I sent the men to kill the prince…so it only makes sense that I have the antidote." He pulled a bottle out from within the pocket of his dark cloak, fingering the cork absentmindedly. "Personally I thought it a waste to use it on you, but once I found that my baby sister had killed the one man I believed would go through with the murder, I knew I had to teach her a lesson…Death is too good for a traitorous bitch like you!" He walked slowly towards me and leaned his face closer to mine. "However, I would have liked to have seen your powerful hunter of a lifemate kill himself to be with you in death."

"My lifemate is not that senseless. He would not join me until he had avenged me. You would not live to bask in your glory. But the day mom and dad died… Gaston, how did you survive? That alone seems impossible…you would have had to…-"

"Yes, I would have had to sacrifice my entire family for my life. I left you all to fend for yourself and hid in darkness. I have lived in darkness ever since."

"You expect me to feel sorry for you when you were going to allow all of us to die for you to live? I am sorry, but I just cannot force myself to do so!"

He smiled back, his black pointed teeth clicking together as he laughed. "I do not need your sympathy. I have followers…humans and vampires alike. We will create a band of Carpathian hunters that are more powerful than you can imagine…" He grabbed my wrist and hauled me to my feet. My initial reaction was to kick and scream as his talons dug into my flesh, but I knew that was exactly what he wanted and so I did nothing, holding my tongue between my teeth. "You see, the Carpathian hunters have a weakness, one that is not so easy to access, but it is there none the less. Their women. They would do anything for one of their women…" He backed me against the wall, leaning his skeletal body against mine.

"And you would hurt a Carpathian woman, just to get at her lifemate?"

"Why not?" He used his claws to trace my collarbone and I had a horrific flashback to my last encounter with a vampire. I closed my eyes to hide the terror from him, but I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I held onto the thought of Christian, knowing that if the punishment intended for me was in fact rape, I would have to imagine it was Christian, regardless of how much it hurt. Deep within me, I heard a roar of anger, and for a moment I thought Christian was within my mind, but just as quickly realized that I had blocked him out to protect him. Whatever happened to me was not meant for him to witness, especially if he was too far away to come even remotely close to saving me.

I felt my skin begin to itch, feeling uncomfortably tight as I regained my voice. "Because that is the one thing you still wish you had had…a lifemate…" I thought aloud, trying to make my voice sound more certain that it was.

He hissed and backed away from me, waving a hand to shove me against the wall again. My body jolted from the force of the impact and I fell to the ground in a heap. "Don't presume to know so much about me sister!" Another snarl sounded within my head. I ignored it and continued to taunt him, not certain whether I was sealing my fate or changing it.

"But I do. We were close before the attack that claimed the lives of our parents …I still know the part of you that remains my brother. He is within you somewhere." It was a lie. I knew it was, but if I could make him second guess himself for even a moment it was a small triumph.

He waved a hand at me, dismissing the claim as nothing. "Think what you like little sister. I have plans for you. You will suffer as I suffered, knowing that my little sister found her lifemate and was happy when I was alone and miserable. Some of my vampire followers are on their way, and they are looking forward to teaching you a lesson." He walked back over to me, grabbing my throat once more, and lifting me to my feet. I choked for a moment before he allowed me to stand on my own, holding his hand at my throat. He tilted my head and sank his fangs deep, taking my blood as his other hand shaped my body.

I watched in horror as two more vampires materialized at my side, sinking their fangs into other parts of my body while they assaulted me as well.

**_Look at them! _**The command was forceful, impossible to disobey. I did as Christian bid, choosing to remain silent even when every inch of me wanted to speak with him, to feel him, touching my mind…touching my body. My eyelids drifted down at the thought, feeling my desire for him mix with the humiliation of being within the vampires' grasps. **_Nathalie! Look directly at them! _**

My eyes snapped open and I looked firstly at my brother. I second later he jumped back, hissing at the others to stop. Both Christian and I stilled, not knowing what had happened. He hadn't had time to channel his energy yet and so whatever just happened was done on my brother's own free will.

"Easy, my friends…take more and she will die. She must suffer…and I can assure you that her pain will be our pleasure." I closed my eyes, feeling my world summersault and crash in the attempt to right itself. **_Christian. I do not want him to hear you through me. You must not speak with me anymore. _**

_**He will not know.**_

_**Do not count on it. He was a strong telepath as a child…who knows what powers he possesses in this form?**_

_**I will not leave you to suffer alone. I cannot leave you…**_

_**I will not have you suffer with me. Seeing what they are doing to me or going to do, will only bring you one step closer to them.**_

**_I am closing in on you. I can feel it. I have another male and his lifemate with me, others have come as well and we will meet shortly._**

**_They have risked too much in my name already Christian. No! Tell them no! _**

_**I cannot. I need you Nathalie.**_

I hissed to myself, frustrated with his perpetual impertinence when my safety was concerned. I heard the she-wolf sniff her agreement. Joy rose up within me at the sound. I had forgotten her entirely, but now that she was here, I felt a little more bold.

**_Nathalie…can you change? Is the wolf with you?_**

_**I feel her trying to take my body, but I have lost too much blood, too much strength. She cannot do it.**_

_**It is only your reluctance that is keeping the change from occurring. You changed when you had shut down your body. No Carpathian can do that. You must believe you can, through the weakness, and it will happen. Trust in her.**_

****My skin began to tingle again and this time I closed my eyes and allowed myself to give in to the feeling. I felt fur begin to form as my skeleton cracked. I gasped sharply and the vampires' attention shifted to focus on me.

"Nathalie? Little sister? Were we too rough?" He cackled a moment before turning serious again. "We'll show you rough!" He shoved me against the wall, his hands ripping my clothes off the moment my body shifted forms, leaving him holding the throat of a full-grown female wolf. "No!"

I snarled back at him, baring my fangs with deadly intent. He threw me back against the wall and I fell to the ground, staggering slightly as I righted myself for a moment before turning towards him slowly, fangs bared.

"Human or not, you are still our prisoner and we can still proceed with our plans."

**_Perhaps, my brother, but there are some things that cannot be done to a wolf. And if you want to keep your throat intact, you will have to watch your back every minute of every night._**

"You will have more than just the wolf to watch out for as well." My heart stilled in my chest, and then began pounding at a much faster rhythm. I leapt around and bounded towards the voice, skidding to a halt at Christian's side. He looked down at me and the anger in his eyes softened.

_**Although the current situation is unfortunate, I must say, I am happy to see you staring back at me through those eyes. I have come close to losing you far too many times recently. **Mon Dieu**, you are a sight!**_

"You have chosen a poor time for a confrontation Hunter! We knew you were coming when the first safeguard was brought down. We are prepared for you." Christian's eyes met with the vampire's but I felt him still within my mind, assuring himself that I was truly there and alright.

**_You'll never lose me Christian. I am so happy to see you! _**My body burned under his gaze. The thought of his arms wrapped around me and his lips on my skin made my mouth go dry. I leaned against his leg, wanting him to feel my heat seep into his body.

"All the better. I would hate for the fight to be unfair." He hissed. _**Nathalie! I am your lifemate, not a saint. Curb your thoughts of me making love to you so that I am not tempted to take you and leave immediately. I need my focus, **ma cherie **and you are ruining it!**_

"We have no quarrel Hunter. Leave us and we wont kill you. I can feel you are close to joining us, there is no reason for this fight to end poorly for us or yourself."

"No quarrel? And you claim to be her brother…" He nodded towards me.

"How would you know that?" The other vampires had circled around us and I kept my eyes on them, while Christian confronted my brother. Even if he was the undead, I would not be able to kill him. That would have to be Christian's job.

**_I will take pleasure in it. _**He snarled as he coiled his muscles for the attack. I shuddered at hearing the death in Christian's voice. He immediately sent me waves of warmth and reassurance. _**Never fear me, **mon amour_

"She is my lifemate." Fear shone in my brother's eyes as he snarled his retaliation.

"That is not possible…we left her lifemate in the Prince's castle when we took her! You were not that man! But, If it is true, why are you so close to turning? It isn't because of her wolf half is it?" There was a taunt behind his words. I groaned inside my head as Christian relaxed slightly.

" Are you implying that you know how to fix that problem?"

"I could be. What are the terms?"

"Your life…"

"For?"

"The information."

"Not a very persuasive male are you?"

"On the contrary, I thought that to be very persuasive."

"No deal Hunter! Perhaps next time you will make your deal more tempting. Amandio, kill the wolf!"

Both vampires leapt at me simultaneously. I spun on them, sinking my fangs deep into one's shoulder. **_NO! Release him!_** The command was sharp with a blatant compulsion. I released his flesh just as black venomous blood came spurting out at me. I was knocked out of its way by the force of the other vampire's attack. Once on the ground, I thrust my paws beneath me and launched myself to my feet, ready for yet another attack. Once on my feet, I faced the vampires, who simultaneously began encircling me, their feet padding along the stone floor in a haunting rhythm. I drew my attention away from the mesmerizing dance and fixed my predatory eyes upon their throats.

**_Don't even think about it. The wolf will be telling you to attack there, but depriving them of air will do nothing. To kill a vampire, the heart must be extracted and incinerated, but regardless, you must leave. Run. There is nothing you can do here. Leave and I will be with you shortly. _**

_**I cannot leave you to fight alone.**_

**_Go! Now! _** The compulsion in his voice was unhidden, and I snarled at I felt my eyes search for a way out. I found the entrance and just as quickly broke through an opening of their circle, blazing past Christian in a whirl of black fur.

Every step I took away from him added another leaden weigh to my heart. Every sensible thought in my head told me to continue in my flight, but my heart wailed at me, begging me to return to aid Christian. My mind reached for his involuntarily and was met with a blank emptiness that only made me even more anxious. I watched as my body vaulted fallen logs with ease, and bounded through thick underbrush as if I wasn't even present within my own wolfish body. And perhaps I wasn't. My mind, body and soul were within Christian, anchoring him while he attempted to kill my attackers.

The wolf within me reveled in every leap, every bound, adoring the freedom I was allowing her. I allowed her free reign of my emotions as well, knowing it would do me no good to dwell on my pain, and if I gave in to the primal instincts of the wolf the agony would lessen. She took the freedom in great strides, slowing to a lope as she placed more and more distance between us and the cave.

Suddenly, the heightened senses of the wolf caught the putrid scent of rotting flesh and as my Carpathian mind scanned the surrounding area, I sensed the presence of two vampires following on my tail. The she-wolf growled her warning, thinking that perhaps normal tactics could be used with this abnormal foe, but I knew better. I took control of the wolf's body and mind once more and she gave up reign freely, understanding that I had more experience with this sort of enemy. I was about to double back to mask the trail when the vampire my brother had called Amandio landed directly in front of me. I took a few steps backward only to feel my tail make contact with the other vampire. I whirled quickly, standing with one vampire on each side. Many more soon descended upon us, making the total count six.

One began to mutter an incoherent phrase and I felt my body tingle. I snarled and bared my fangs before my spine brutally cracked as did my skull. I roared in rage, but the sound quickly turned to a scream as I felt my body give beneath me and I fell to the dirt, knocking my head hard upon a sharp rock. The whole world tilted for a moment until it righted itself, leaving me naked and in human form, panting upon the ground in utter exhaustion.

"Didn't think that could happen, did you?" Amandio asked, stepping towards me with deadly intent.

"I…I knew it could…I…just…didn't think putrid creatures…such as yourselves…were capable of such acts…in your…altered…forms…" I gasped out between breaths.

"We are not as you describe us…we are merciful beings, to be sure." Another vampire stated proudly. "You see, my dearest, Gaston commanded that we kill you immediately, but we are not so vicious. No, we will have our fun with you before we send you to your death."

"How…valiant and generous of you…" I mocked, raising myself to my feet, and swaying slightly. Amandio grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me against him brutally, angling my head between his hands. He sank his fangs deep within my throat and I gasped, trying to ignore the pain of those talon like fingers and those putrid reptilian teeth clawing into my flesh simultaneously. He released my neck a moment before smashing his mouth onto mind, probing around in my mouth with his abhorrent tongue and digging his talons into my breasts. The other vampire came up behind me, pressing his erection against my bare bottom. The others also began to close in, liking their lips and snarling dirty phrases into my ear.

I knew the vampires thrived upon my fear so I tried desperately to control my terror, but it was only a matter of time before the charade would fall, leaving me weak and vulnerable. **_Nathalie, I am still battling your brother. Gregori tells me that other vampires have come to attack the women, and so they had to protected their lifemates first. We will be with you as soon as possible, but you must hold them off yourself. I am sorry, but I cannot aid you in this, if I leave he will only follow and I cannot be certain if I will reach you in time…_** I felt Christian's pain as he received a slash to his chest.**_ You can do it Nathalie, I have faith in you. Oh mon Dieu, Nathalie! Please do not allow them to harm you! I could not bare it! _**He broke off abruptly, and I felt my mind grasping onto the image of him within my mind. I felt my body stiffen but disregarded the sensation as nothing. A moment later the vampires leapt back, screaming in rage as their eyes spoke blatantly of fear. I saw within their gaze a reflection of myself and I had to stifle my own scream of surprise. There staring back at me through the vampires' ominous black eyes was Christian. I slowly looked behind me, but saw nothing.

**_Christian?_** The was no response and it was then that I realized that I was seeing myself. I had shape-shifted on my own, but instead of turning myself into an animal, I had become my beloved lifemate. I smiled to myself and it translated over to a showing of teeth to the undead.

"The hunter…"

"No, it is the woman, taking the image of the hunter!" Amandio said, his voice lacking confidence.

"You may test your theory if you wish, I shall have no problem delivering the death sentence our prince has placed upon those of you who willingly turned." My voice came out in Christian's breathtakingly dark tone, a clear threat behind the beauty. I shivered, my body reacting to the sound of his voice, even if it wasn't him actually speaking.

"If you are who you claim to be, you know that there is no willingness when it comes to turning."

"There is always a choice, Amandio. You could have ended your wretched existence the noble way by meeting the daylight, but you did not. As I said…a choice was made."

"You have no idea the life I have lead!" He responded tersely. The other vampires snarled, baring their black pointed teeth and pacing behind their second in command.

"I don't? No emotions, no color, waiting night after night to find a woman meant solely for you, knowing that she may never come…most likely wont come…" The information flooded my mind, as if coming from another source. I felt tears gather in my eyes, but luckily they did not show through to Christian's. I now understood more fully the horrible ordeal all Carpathian men had to put up with. "…and then having to kill, feeling that rush of power when you are close to taking every drop of life from your prey. I believe I know the quality of your life well enough." I replied, hoping that what I had said was true and believable.

"Enough hunter! Prepare yourself! We will see if you are who you appear to be."

"We will now?" My voice sounded from beside me. I turned to see Christian standing beside me. I held back a gasp, wanting to use his appearance to our advantage. But a moment later Christian walked out from the surrounding woods, and then a hawk landed on the ground nearby, turning into Christian a moment later. Other Christian look-a-likes continued to walk out of the woods, surrounding the group with his power and strength. Storm clouds seemed to roll in on their heels, swirling malevolently over our heads, thunder rumbling deeply, shaking the very earth we stood on.

Panic began to well up within me. It was clear that these were either clones or the other Carpathians taking on his image. I still had no idea how he was, where he was, if he was hurt, alive… Rain began to fall, gently at first and then gained intensity as the moments ticked by. I stifled the reaction to that thought as best as I could as my mind reached desperately for him.

_**I am fine, **mon amour. **Well done, I am very near. I shall be upon them in a few moments. You have done well. I am very proud of you.**_

Before I could reply, a magnificent spotted leopard walked out of the woods, coming up to my side and standing beside me, muscles taught and ready for the attack. Lightning pierced the sky as he let out a sharp cry of fury. I recognized him immediately as Christian, not because it was an obvious observation, but because my heart would recognize him anywhere, in any form. My heart leapt and my spirit sang as I tried my best to focus on the matter at hand, knowing that Christian was doing just that. The large cat lowered his head and walked forward so that my hand that was lying loosely at my side, slid over his glossy coat.

_**You think too nobly of me, **lifemate**. Do not presume that my thoughts are not on having you beside me…or beneath me, as the case may be… although it is slightly unnerving, seeing you not only as a man, but as me.**_ I felt his laughter bounce around within me and it warmed me through and through as I summoned the courage to face the vampires.

Amandio stood a few feet from me, watching the other Christians begin to close in. The other, more vampires took one look at the cloned hunters and took off into the air, streaming off towards the south. Lightning sparked after them, nearly hitting many as they raced towards the horizon.

"After them!" I heard one yell, and all the rest took off, leaving us a strong group of four, two Christian doubles, the leopard and myself against the one vampire: Amandio.

"Called in the beasts to help you hunter?" He nodded towards the leopard.

"The cat has come on his own, I have done nothing to encourage him."

"Call him off then. Your clones too. This is our fight hunter and you know that."

"It is our fight, Amandio and that's why I intend on dispatching you myself." At the same moment, the leopard launched himself at the vampire changing form within mid air, his body gracefully taking on the muscular body of a male Carpathian. The vampire realized his mistake too late, and tried to pull backwards at the same time Christian's fist plunged into his chest. The vampire scurried back, Christian's hand sliding out from around his heart, effectively evading death but only barely.

"So, are you the female, are you a clone, or are you the real hunter and _that _is the clone?" he asked no one in particular.

"Your guess is as good as mine." I said, showing Christian's perfectly white teeth in a half smile.

A moment later, Christian was behind him. The vampire swung around to face him, and in a sudden moment of fury, I plunged my own fist into the vampires back, reaching for his heart deep within his body. My form shimmered and returned to my normal body as I forgot to hold the image of Christian within my mind. The vampire screamed, not expecting me to react, let alone go in for the kill. I felt the organ beating within my palm and I grabbed it within my fingers, refusing to let my hold lessen. The vampire fell on the floor, writhing in agony for a few moments before looking back at me, his eyes full of fury.

"You are the woman. I knew it from the start! I should have done worse to you! You will not live to see the next sunset!" Christian glared at the writhing body of the vampire, before a bolt of lightning hit the body, incinerating it instantly. Christian held a ball of energy in his hand and transferred the flames to me, so that it also turned the heart in my hand to ashes. He then carefully held my wrists with one of his hands while he held the energy in the other, allowing the flames to clean away the toxic vampire blood.

The storm clouds dispersed nearly instantly, first with the storm thinning to a rain, then a light drizzle which dripped on and on until the night was silent and still once again. The delicate way he tended to me made my heart melt. I sighed and at the sound, Christian's eyes met mine immediately. "Are you all right?" He asked, his voice full of concern, which only made it seductive beyond belief.

I noticed that he was soaked to the bone as was I. He must have seen the thought within my mind so he quickly dried and clothed us with a wave of his hand. My stomach knotted and I closed my eyes, gently taking back my hands to wrap them around his much larger frame. He too embraced me, more carefully than I would have liked, though it was clear he was paying attention to my sore and bruised body. I pulled back from him a moment later and he patiently looked into my face, waiting for me to make the next move. I raised myself up onto my toes and kissed him, at first briefly, but as he returned the kiss, I felt myself give into the way our mouths welded together, heating both of us to the point of combustion. He finally broke off and pulled my body against his. I felt a pang of fear sound within my head at the feel of his hard body against mine, but just as quickly realized the reaction had nothing to do with him and everything to do with the vampires.

As he held me, I looked over his shoulder to see another pair of Carpathians talking softly to each other. It didn't take long for me to realize they were two of the mysterious clones. He quickly realized what I was looking at and spun me around, taking my hand in his and walking towards the pair.

"Nathalie, this is my good friend Byron and his lifemate Antoinetta." I nodded to them both. I knew it would have been polite to shake her hand or something of the sort, but I couldn't bring myself to release my hold on Christian's hand.

"Pleased to meet you Nathalie." Antoinetta said softly, as if she was trying not to scare off a spooked animal. **_She is Nathalie; she is holding out her hand to the spooked wolf._**

**_I am not spooked._** I commented softly.

**_You haven't said a word since you killed the vampire. _**

I closed off my mind, not knowing what to say.

Byron looked at me for a moment, as if determining whether I was worthy of the male who was once his best friend and playmate. I straightened my posture and tried to muster a bit of spirit. For some reason I couldn't and simply had to attempt to ignore his intense scrutiny.

"I am glad for you Christian. She seems to be the perfect lifemate." Antoinetta huffed beside him, clearly understanding that she was being teased, but choosing to play along regardless.

"Oh, don't let her sweet demeanor fool you…she can be quite a handful!" Somewhere within my mind, it registered that I was being teased as well, but I couldn't find the energy to rise up and take the bait.

All three Carpathians looked at me expectantly. I squirmed slightly under their gaze, but otherwise said nothing. Christian took the hint quicker than the others.

"Byron, Antoinetta, I must thank you for coming to our aid. You are welcome to stop by my home and visit with us once we are all rested and tended to our wounds. I wouldn't want you to leave without giving us a chance to catch up."

"We will certainly drop by in a few risings."

"Thank you, my friend." Christian and Byron grasped forearms a moment before Byron and his beautiful lifemate changed into owls and took off into the sparkling night sky. I watched them go until Christian took hold of my waist and did the same. I clung to him almost desperately as he raced us home.


End file.
